,7 .‘ WEDDING BELLS AHEAD ?!?! "Falling in love"...what a wonderful phrase. But can it also be compared with falling off a cliff? There is the same sense of exhilaration...both cause our hearts to pound frantically. Regrettably in too many situations the endings are the same...FLATl! Falling in love may lead to flat, dead marriages. A "Marriage Preparation" course, taken before the vows, may prevent a sad, sudden ending to your 'falling in love'. ' Through "Marriage Preparation" you may discover that your decision is based on one of nine 'negative' reasons for marriage. These reasons make for a very shaky foundation. Yet sadly, many marry today because of one, or more, of them. For example: one quarter of women marry because they are pregnant. They face the extreme pressure of adjusting to marriage and parenthood, simultaneously. Most are young and may already be struggling with self-identity, or the social and emotional changes common to young people. Another unhealthy reason for marriage is rebellion. Some marry just to 'spite' the authority figures in their lives. It becomes an act of defiance against parents, or even against society when individuals marry outside the 'norms' of a culture. Remember time has a way of mellowing us. Often youthful rebellion produces mature regret. Thirdly, some marry for the 'escape motif'. Unhappy with their surroundings they VleW marriage as a way out. While good marriages better both partners, the marriage based primarily on an escape from alcoholic or abusive parents for example, may not last. A fourth, unhealthy motive for marriage, is loneliness. If this is a person's main reason for wanting to marry, then their judgement might become foggy. In desperation, the long-awaited "special somebody" may be exchanged for the "almost anybody". Better to find an organization, or church, which provides an antidote to loneliness while you hold-out for your ideal mate. "Beauty is only skin deep!" Often it is even very thin skin yet many marry because of another's physical appearance. Granted eyeâ€"appeal may initially stimulate our interest but if that's all there is, what happens after 'middle-age spread'? It is unhealthy, even neurotic, when people wed just because they are marrying a 'good catch' in the eyes of all their friends. Sixthly, some marry to avoid a fate worse than death....celebrating their 18th, let, 25th, 30th (pick one) birthday while still single! How many marriages do you know of, that are a result of giving-in to these types of social ressures? Don't allow society to dictate the "who", "when", and "how" of your decision to marry. Another unhealthy basis for marriage is one centered in guilt or pity especially as a result of participating in preâ€"marital sex. Guilt may obligate them into a permanent committment to the one to whom they surrendered their chastity, or with whom they are now involved. Pity may also motivate the seducing partner to attempt to restore honor by agreeing to marriage. Being "on the rebound" is negative reason number eight. This situation may mean a person is vulnerable to the first offer that comes their way. The ending of an intense relationship can be extremely painful. The need to soothe the hurt may prompt someone to enter prematurely into another, seemingly more permanent, committment. Finally, the ninth negative reason for marriage is the one founded upon romance! ()3 the co-opcétors Jim Sfedmon Sales Representative Innmance Sewuces Lif.Afo, . memo ï¬méwfl .31 '° Romantic love is centered in the emotions. And our emotions have as many 'ups' and 'downs' as a walleye fisherman or an elevator. In reality...sweaty palms, shallow breathing and racing heartbeat may indicate the 'flu bug' instead of the love bug! Romantic love may not be real love at all. It may be only infatuation...fickle and fleeting. Infatuation will wane. When it does, so will the motive to remain married. Real love is a decision. Love is strengthened through times of "richer or poorer, better or worse". Real love costs. Are you prepared to pay the price? Your comments, questions or concerns are welcomed by the writer. Pastor Milt Place, Bethel Church, Lyndhurst. Pentecostal ELGIN l PHARMACY LTD. E ELGIN Cards â€" (if its NORTH LEEDS LANTERN page 9 GREMLINS Just when we thought we had them beaten, the little devils "snuck" in again...and unfortunately to the same organization as last year. Profuse apologies to the Beta Sigma Phi sorority, sponsors of the up-coming Red Cross Blood Donor Clinic! The Lantern promotes this Clinic with free advertising and tries to include all information in coming events, calendar, etc...in other words, we attempt to give it t_gp coverage...Once again, the "typo" Gremlin, while getting the ad right, proceeded to change the date in the other areas of the paper. 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