Friday, September 15, 2023 3Brooklin Town Crier Brooklin's Community Newspaper Proud to be a Brooklinite Since 2000. Published 24 times per year. Editor, Richard Bercuson 613-769-8629 • editorofbtc@gmail.com • Circulation 8000 • Delivery via Canada Post Locally owned and operated. A publication of Appletree Graphic Design Inc. We accept advertising in good faith but do not endorse advertisers nor advertisements. All editorial submissions are subject to editing. For advertising information, contact: Email: mulcahy42@rogers.com Next Issue: Friday, September 29, 2023 Deadline: Friday, September 22, 2023 Brooklin TOWN CRIER.com It's after school and my daughter is relaxing on the couch with her phone. I ask her about homework. She says she'll do it later. After dinner, I ask her to be ready to leave for hockey by 7 pm. At 7:10, I'm standing at the door ready to go as she walks up to me and asks me where I'm going! Her phone has been distracting her since 2:15 pm. She didn't get around to anything she was meant to do. I'm frustrated and threaten to take her phone away. But then I wonder if it's the best consequence for her actions. Better choices It seems that threatening to take away your teen's phone is usually not a good discipline choice. When you take away their phone, you're also taking away the television, games, their ability to talk with friends, and grounding them all at once. Phones are how teens communicate which is important for their development. Is taking it away a punishment that fits the crime? It often backfires and can damage your relationship. They might refuse to talk to you or try to sneak their phone when you aren't looking. And next time, they may lie to protect their phone access. The best way to handle it is to make the consequences relative to what they did wrong. For example, in my daughter's case, if she's running late because of distractions, she'll need to apologize to the coach and suffer the team's consequences which might be extra sprints or less ice time. If they come home late, take away the ability to communicate with their friends or to attend a future outing. If a chore or homework isn't completed on time, then block access to games on their phone. Lock it Locking a section of the phone allows them to still use it for safety but sets consequences by limiting the fun. If your teen did do something wrong online, such as cyberbullying or posting inappropriate photos, you might want to take the phone away or delete a specific app for a while. At our home, we put limits on the time our teen uses her phone. These help her manage her time effectively. But we realize that virtual communication and social media have become the modern day equivalent of hanging out at the mall or movie theater for teens. Instagram, TikTok and SnapChat are places where teens are able to kick back and express themselves, connect with their peers, and develop their identity without too much adult oversight. Next time I consider taking her phone, I'll first contemplate if removing her lifeline from friends is the right consequence. Instead, when the table isn't set on time, she may find herself cleaning a nasty burnt-on pan. Brooklin Family Matters: by Leanne Brown Disciplining A Teen By Removing Their Phone? "One- of-a-Kind Golfing Experience"