I r , < ' > - ).1 -' -, I iI:V/ 0o p i then," he said. "That's the Conservative motto." 35 YEARS AGO "Conservative, yeah, that's us. A man's gotta do what a from the Thursday, Deoember 15, 1960 edition of the man's gotta do. Good te see you, Dalton." Harris smiles.WflBiWEKYNW "Right now r'm the ghost of Conservative future and 0 OPP Constable Morley Richardson, 29, died at the Whitby Arena alter taking part in a what I see from you should end ail hope of a caring, socially charity hockey game. conservative society. You're a mess, Ebenezer. " 0 William Douglas Thomson is the new secretary of the Whitby District High School Board. "'utI won the election. I promised change." 0 Veteran political figure Heber Down iii -the oldest Reeve in Ontario at the age of 71. He. was 'The chnge It: doeveybod god."elected Reeve of Whitby Township. "Th n c ang. I'd o e ery odygoo."a Whitby has issued nearly two milliont dollars worth of building perrits this year. Ebenezer brightened up. 'l will!" he cried. '111 get Ernie Eves te change! Ill raise welfare, and education spending, 80 YEARSl AGO but at the sanie time cut out waste and duplication. Ill be from the Thursday, Deoember 16, 1915 edition of the as caring an old goat as you've ever seen." WIEITBY GAZETTE AND CHERONICLE Ebenezer Harris awoke then. He was true te his wor. (This issue is missing) Neyer a kinder, gentler but firm politician ever Iived. Even Bob Rae-chit learned te love hlm. God bless him, everyone!______________________________________ I I I. ~ Il Whitby Free Press, Wednesday, Deoember 20,1995,.Page 7 si es Ebenezer Harris Old Harley was dead, to begin with. Otherwise, there might be no stoiy to tell; no penny-pincéhinge hi th e co un ting house; no shivering clerk Bob Rae-chit i-the outer office; no jolly nephews, sacked servants, severed limbs; no deficit-driven Ebenezer Harris in the inner office, this few days before Christmas. "Why Uncle Ebenezer!" It was the old skin-flint's nephew, so addle-minded he married for love. "Bah!," said Premier, "Hlumnbug!" "Corne on, now, Uncle! It can't be as bad as ail that. Jomn us for Christmas dinner." "Bah!" repeated the Uncle. "Hlumbug!" VQ 'Well, so much for great conversation," said the nephew, a.nd left. In the outer office, clerk Bob Rae-chit blew on his hands ~4 to warm them. kn at once blew two portly businesspersons. "Do we have the pleasure of addressmng Mr. Harley or Mr. Harris?" asked the portly gentleman of Bob Rae-chit. "Neither!" yelled old Ebenezer from the inner office. 'Mr. Harley feR off his motorcycle seven years ago this very evening." "Then you must be Mr. Harris," said the portly lady. .... ......«*.... ... 'We're collecting for a fund to help the poor at Christmas," said the gentleman. "Some little token to help the needy." 'Is there no workfare?" asked Ebenezer. "No minimum wage Jobs? Cannot these people get off their duifs and earn their keep?" "Only if they can id jobs." "And are there no workhouses?' Ebenezer asked-. "'None?"t "None." "Oh," replied Ebenezer. "None? Then what a wonderful idea,. Next ellection: If no workfare, then workhouses! Ha! Ha!" The portly businesspersons turned on a huif and left. Rae-chit went home to his family, and Ebenezer locked up and went home to his lonely apartment for the night. There he was visited by three ghosts. The first was William Davis, the ghost of Christmas past. About his waist Davis wore chains and strong boxes. Is this your political fortune?" Harris asked. 'Tolitical baggage," replied Davis. "But this is Iight. The chains you now wear are 10 times this long. Heck, man, I ran the province on what you have as a deficit." 'tYeah, but im getting rid of it," said Harris. 1 1