W~itby Fiee p.rss. Wedoesday, June 30, 1993. Page 7 ......... . . ... . . . Geniatrie Park PLong-necked dinosaurs dip der snouts into Bleakers Pnd. Tosaura us Rex crashes through the trees, flatten high-powered electric fences under big feet. Welcome to Geriatric Park. Here, under the guidance of hand-picked scientists, many extinet species h ave been rebuilt from discarded RNA jeans. "We have no real understanding of why," says one llab technician. "We. triod Registered Nurses' ,eans, but that didn't work. RNA's jeans work much btter. Let us meet the person who built this children's therne park. "It's for my grandchildron," says Sarah Tricoratops. r'You have ne idea what it is like to think that your whole family lino may one day be extinct. Corne on, hop in the mono and we'fl do a quick tour." The passengers clamber aboard. Immediately, the two 7 computerized cars jerk forward. The dashboard speaker spouts a canned delivery: «Wel- corne to Geriatric Park . Here we have re-created a world many. thought extinct millions of years ago. By careful planning, cloning of political incompetents and patronage, we have created a political zoo." The car lurches up the bill, dangling perilously on a participle. "On your right the once extinct Toysauraus Rex, the most vicious flesh eater ever to walk t he earth. We keep thom contained behind high-voltage electric fences just in case. Watch." A zookeeper nearby tosses a still-îiving civil servant into 'q 4 the desertedpen. Instantly, four Torysauraus Rex converge, tearing bone from limb, tendon from mortice. "They'Il do that to taxpayers, too. Usually in the dark." The car continues. "Straddling both sides of the fence, now, is the Gritsego- saur. This mighty beast once ruled from coast to coast. Now hie would trade devalued dollars for nuggets of reality, which ihe in turn would bury in a nest called a deficit.» Rounding the next turn, the car stops dead. Passengers stand up. "Whnt the.. they say in unison.. ...... "The animal you see before you is the famous SideH.ill Gougeri (gow-jer-eye). It was once thought that because of his short eft eg he ran in left-baring circles on steep side huIs. Endeepeesogorus. «It is closely related in background to the Toysgorus, which runs the samne sidehilîs in right bearing cîrcles. Short ONTARIO LADIES' COLLEGE, C. 1890 right leg. Scientists thought these two were separate This is a very early view of what is new Trafalgar Castle School. It was built as a private species and could neyer mate. Whlen they tried, one would residence for Sheriff Nelson Gilbert Reynolds in 1859/62 and becarne a girls' private school in have his/her short leg on the downhill side and faîl over. 1874. The trees were planted in 1880 and cut down in 1946. Whitby Archlve photo "Recent developments have shown that left-leaning Sogerus can transformn overnight into a right-leaning créature. Although ho tries te keep feeding on the left side of the bill.» «But further, off .» 10YEARS AGO The voice is drowned by human screams. A dark cloud from the Wednesday, June 29, 1983 edition of the passes overhead.. Lightning and thunder drive in torrential WHJTBY FREE PIRESS rain.* A Whitby man was killed in a plane crash at Toronto International Airport on June 22. "The power's gene! The lights are eut! The electrie fonces* Thirteen-year-old Christina McDonald of Whitby placed third at a national gymnastics are powerless!" meet in Toronto. Geriatric Park has gene mnad. Tenders wilho called te, establish a 32-bed chronic care unit at the Dr. J.O. Ruddy General Hospital. Endeepeesogorus runs xnadly around his sidehill in both* Sunnycrest Retirement Villa bas opened an addition te the nursing homo on Dundas dieti. «Sol contrct,-soialcnt4act so-il cotrct, Sree Est Taxpayers will be extinct. Gerîatric Park is a dangerous c-ýurch is being renovated. place.»