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Whltby Fus rees.9 Wednesday, August ?6. 199Z Page 7 PAGE 'SEVEN' * Bathing thecat They're littie crittere one-eighth'of an inceh (haif a' centimetre) long. S Tbey bite. They also jump two -hundred ti meés their ri' length. In absolute termes, that's only two feet. In relative termes, it's lke ýa man leaping te the tep- of the CN Tower. They aàre alea proliffic. W-luch iswhy they are hard toget rid of. Given that the Swan household now conteine, in a dditionte two adult huinane (one male, one female) and one child (femele) eue dog female ueutered) and eue cat (maIe, ueuteredâ). >And,,about .one million fleas, of sex undetermined. Well, given how prolific the littie buggers are, Iet's say that, when- it cornes te se;, they must be pretty determiuied. And, definitely not neutered. Inhe polem firet emierged about a year, ago. That's when Milo, a maIe marmelade cat, ap re d- in Our hoh old (ged ineke and. we 1ound the day after, hie, arrivaI, loaded with live cargo. After hie had hidden overnight ini several. places throughout the bouse. .Second night came the full flea treatmeut. Spray, scra6ch, kil, kil, kili. Treat sleeping quarters. Fvouru;ýte places lu the house. We thought that did it and ignored wvhat should have beenobvious for almost a year. It je on, the basis of such experience that 1 want te ehare with you, dear reader, some basic, facte about flea removal. Firest,. throw out the rule book on totally orgeic- gerde n.Fleas -cen ouîy be battled fro ni a strong platform of chemical 'warfareý. Agent,'orangeje a gooa starting place. (Sure,. suheequent generations may tk nnw frighenmgpwré. Heck maybe theyaàlreadyhv. Step one: Ask'the vet for some strong cheiàcals. Be emb=rassed. Do' or. The vet will n hamyi mean. She must. It may not make bier ri*cb,,but.it's a, living. Step two: bathe the dog. I wou't elaborate. Ites only a emaà ldog. Stop tbree: bathe the cat. This,. unfortuiiately, requires- elaboration. Even tbrough the cat is not mucb bigger than the dog. First elaboration: don't even try te bathe "a. cat that bas not. been declawed. Even then, stay clear of the rear .propellers. They en cbew up a shirt pretty good. Second elebaration:, Base -,cats .,thorou h y.Be creative. Step four: vacuumn the whoîe bouse. Stop five: spray* agent* orange <tbrougb the whole bouse. Stopsix: buru all bedding, clothes,, uewspapers, towels, bed clothes, pillows, ýcarpets, etc. Stop seven: vacuum again. Stop eigbt: vacuumegm Step nine: -batbe the dog. Again. Step ten: bathe the cat. Agein. (Ha!) SteP eleven: .. Well, the trutb is, there is no step eleven. What, there are, bowever, are a female dog, neutered a,,maie cat, neutered, and, between thýem about bffWa million head oftiny, livestock. SOur.eradcation. project bas acbieved one effect: the tiny critters are no logr r ritd odoge and cata Somehow,- we have made these- hosts not quite saO appealing. What that minse jethe lUIst- crittere flQw board any Passimg warm-blooded critters. Which icîudes adult male and female bumans and girl children. Ma éb venboy culîdren. aPeps thsy ould even love politicians. Who knows, 'mayb»ey would even love the4'erme for Canadas new Constitution. The obvious anewer, naturafly, would be to neuter eveTy fIes in sight. lncludmng those not m sgbt Th eIrn uewu4ofr1ht1 Frbei Surpasin hetandards ot mnediocrity, By Michael Wycks The Olympie reprssent a standard of sporting excellence rarely surpassed anywhere. >Canada Post held'its 'own brand of Olympie rscently ,whe'nIt'me'asured its abilliy te deliver mail' and.packages on tirne. In this competition (piMing, Canada Post solely< againset tel) 50,000 unmfarked letters an packages were, sent -out Into the mail by Ernst and Yoüngt -hé 'g'r'ouphlred b Canada Peet' te The 'resuts gave aànada' postai monopoly the. gold',medal standing-t. ýwas searching for: 98.per ' ceýnt et the mail for' the saree city was delivéred within a Canada Poet set standard eft"w business das; 99 pî cent was" delivered between cities'in the sane province within three business days;-and between cties lin different provinces. 99 per' cent was delivered within tour business deys. These impressi1ve numbers belle the tact' thet> Canada Pst sets Uis own standardsfo mesueen.As, Brien Gray, senior' vice presldent, 'policy and. research tou the Canadien néd etinàdependent Business points:eut, ifU yeu set your standards low enough, anyone cen be a goId medalist. 1 Why does àt take tfour business days te g't a letter f rom Winnipeg te Regina or trom Montreel teo Fredericton? Meanwhile, the 'U.S. Postal Service's deliveryý stafidards, are, such 'ýthet Il ,takes ust twe« days te send a , letter from - New York àfty t'o, Chicapo. What's stopping our pestai servicêrôm achievung that kind'.ef -efficiency? With their falrly lax standards,, Canada Pot seems te appreachmail del ivery more.like a leisurelyjog areunidbte track than any quick sprint,' Grays.> One aiea C anada. Pbst always mnanages te, lead the wayIn Is, postal Incees.Nefther rain, nor <, leet, moi snow can stop the po'sta i monopoly trom asklng foe a postýage stamfp. rate Incréase :-,- this Yrearlane exception.' An a-pplication ,,has been made te the' f9derai. gçveumment te hike domestlc stemps'ta 43 cents (oecentInirase), stamps"'te thée.United, States by lae cent (te 49 cents), and oversea's stam"ps by t.wo cents (taô 86 cents). lncluding tex,. Canaàdiens would thenhave te tork over4,52ad92 c'ents, » espectively. Canadians pay an extraorinaryamunt oet money <tes&upport a national postailsyste. Leàs cestly, ,,-consistent, efficient service wul be a wlce change te the yearl ppuce hîkes, strikes- and self-congratulatery Initiatives we' have'seaîn lately trem Canada Post. Perhaps lt's tîme tougher standards were se for mnail.delivery -- we'll ses, thén, whether Canada Post achleves the sanie miedai ceunt they have with their own standards. I'IMMI WHmYCmrZE.NS BAND IN MO0NT* 0F COURT HOUSE, UUT13 The. Whitby r Citizens', Band won first prize at - the Canadian N aional .,Exhibition, band compe1tonin 1931. In the top row are Deputy, Reeve-KM. Devereli, NMayor C.E. Bowman, Reeve A.W. Jackson and band president J.F. Boothe. -Whitby Arou hlo Iz" 1OýYEARS AGO. from the 'Wednesday, August'25, 1982 edition'of the WWTB PÉ RES *Joanne and Henk DeHaas, are the first winners of the Chamber of. Commerce xnarigold *The Ojitario government has been asked to inspect.,the 'Ontario Humnae Society shelter atý C £The MaIod Dinner Playhouse, owned by Larry owyadNul izead, wil open on, Sapt. 7. *Joe Drumm wilI seek a fourthterin as east ward councillor ini the ýfail municipal election.< 35 YEARSAGO frèm the Thursday,,Auguet 29, 1907 edition of the< WHITBY WEEKLY NEWS e The new Ontario County. Health Unit bas, taken over the administration and supervison of health *vices in Whitby.' *More thaih 1,200 children wMll oon return te public achools in Whitby. *Shoemaker Iroert-J. Quinton is showving Ise prize chickens at the Cenadian National Exhibition. *Mesher's jewellewy store is displae, g repli*cas of the Crown Jewels to, honour Queen Elizabeth's upcoming visit te Canada. 100 YEARS AGO from the Friday, August 26, 1892edition of the WHM1BY- CIRONICIZ Th'1Ie Chroicle states the prisones' dock at the court bouse is lilce 'a cage or panthera. e Mrs. Allin broke her armwhen she fell'down the cellar stairs at her bookstore. e A good many complaints are made about the coriduct and language of a horde of boys who asmble almoet every, night at MèCann's Corner (Brock and Dunlop Streets). *The Town banid is complinàing. that it was not hired to play at, the Ontario and Durhamn Exhibition at Whitby in Septembe-r.