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WH1TBY Fri-PREEPRESS, WEDNESDAY, AUGUS1! 4,1991, PAGE 1l7 m que-mm-no-Mauqui-mm-Bs-mo-cul on mi un moimal-g--Im-Mauune-mm-u-au-- i u lacans-on-ma-coumal-ns-ns-Im malmon -m mi Ummm - - - mm m M MOreComn ing Evées L'rl 1. i rir Ir r1' IaIlr UII ',yiw 1Iî'1 1 i i'VI'IE zmOFENING' CELEBATIONAT THE 'AAX COMMUN1TY CENTRE Saturday, Sept. '1 Ofriciai ceremonies w Il tae. place at -10:30 am foilowod Uby varieus activities from il te 4 in- cbuding a teen concert, domonÎstrations, an hi=ria display and entertainment. Prom Spm te blm there wiil b. a 50'é and 60Ys danc. witii Roger Ashby - tickets $10. AJAX FAMILY FESTIVAL Sept., 13-15 at'tii. Ajax Corn- munity Centre. Se. separate story. NATIONAL COACKING CERTIICATION PROGRAM Sept. 21 & 22% 9am - Sprn at tiie Ajax Comrnunity Centre. Pre-registration required. ç OMM[UNiT! GROUP .DISPLAYS -< Mon.-Thurs., Sept. 9-12, 6:30- 9:30, AjNax Community Centre BETTER PICTURES IN A SNAP s3tarta September 24, 7.Cali 427-8811 for furtiier information. BACK....TO. SOHOOL.. .... SA LI.... ian. change r.. Shouldnt the Ministyo rnpr foot the bill for swear boxes to b. installedon their Tdashbrd? The majority of automnobile commuters have half-eaton donuts, bagels and McDonalids breakfasts stuffd under their seati. By Friday ail of the leftovers and ful cigarette trays are i need of a <âecent buriai. How does a babysîtter get rich? ýWorking for a commuter family i. alwa .ilght hours plus per day. The commuter may work 40 hours a week b ut spending 20 hours a week ettig tote heir job and back is not calculated on their pay their ned th. Some people dont know how they do it. Some people dont know why they do it. But of course ther. is freedom cof choice te become Jones, Swines or Srniths. Take your pick D.V.P.erls? now that's ýanother stery. ...~ g- ~ m vii v v21v.1r-"y.,r IDA C II P:1 , ý Mom-1w m e Ik e-VI IP qplw v lm F 1 :1.,l .1,ý 1 A- 1 .1. 1 -1. y .1-- y .1. a Tý 1 ýv. BIUM à m and Automnobiles Whenver I, think of the movie starring John C andy and Steve Martin, the three ctegooies-othe thousanda cf commuters who f low bock and Ceihfrm Whitby to, Toronto each day corne te mind. Let me explain this in familiar examples that, anyone can relate te. To start with we, have Mr. and Mis. Jones who are, the train commuters. Poor, poor Mr. Jones has te Wy himeif another white shirt tis weekend because df the numerous aimost- washed-out coffée stains fr-om the "got-to-get-a-window seat commuter.,Mr. Jones alS knows that smal sacrifices have te, be made or his newspaper, coffe., lunch and briefcase. wil get a seat and he wonLt Mrs. Joues i. well prepared for her daily venture to work toda 8h. knows she wi] have two seat. throughout the. rZride. 8h. toclias a coffee, lunch and briefcas and also her knitting. New sweaters are i theain o Christmas. and the. needies rotate thireateningly inan upword V !ostion. There deflmitély won't"be.anyanerer. todayM. âJnes. iy: *the. Whitby train commn uteras e. the lglt of day only on thewreekendseprhaps just:a beautifii sunrise over the huge contaminated Loke Ontario. How depre 1ssing cari a mrigb.? lix...commutera are the cmaptive audience to make-up sem*nar y eâtmates perforrning their amazing wake-uptrnsformati'ons. Catching Up "o le .acmo thfingon their ride, and sometimes payinç attention to the people leaving the train on regular stops instead of histenAg toeoach announcement leaves them isolated on the. Rouge HUI 1piatffom feeling dumber than a blonde joke. There r.aiiy isn't miuch conversation on commuter trains and sometimes cars are hit with, contagioua cases«,of zombieism - blank lifeleas faces store vacnty, fin -thei. windows.,The attack con ooeur at, any time in the morning orivng Hardly anyonehas the immune system te, figlit The plane commutera are the flyers - Indy 500 trainees - botter known as ."SWINES". Todajy they 2il-challenge the, speed of liglit theory again. Y.., th.y feel their riglit foot knows the. roada better then you and 100/km per hocur 'or les. on tii.4011i.on'iy ortheanafilresearciers., W. have alseen thedo their dmat* defyir1tricka. One.. moment they are in yur rearview mîrrr sang your bumper hello, and in Je neit moment they have appeared eigiit cars oead of you using their smooth zig-zag tEilent (I mean iuck), Pleas. bear in mind tii... swines have not acknowiedged that their, destination -couid -lie 6 feet. under the. ground,.-lt abri., force someone else te join them. Don't they know the -speed limit? Have they ever slow.d down long enough: toe ei.wiite flashes te oaare actual road si ne that do, exist? Arriving bats rwok ay net ait wel rthi the. boss. lh.y ixij.ct an 'extracfe.it their rigiit foot and focus their functionng five per cent brain cels as they sped aiong. The shoulders are wiiere meut accidents ccur. Doa't they knowý that, the. aide of the. 401'is for truckis that -blow their tires, cars that run out ofgs and children't"a ke.p unbuclingtheir s.atbelta? The.Mor ecople are at thé. mercy oftie swines who think the. aides are frti up of pasaing cniy. 1 1. Special Offer $79nOO guaranteed soft contact lenses - - à Lostly' and deflnitely net le"s are the average automobile commters-_Ïr*. and Mis. Smithi. They spend ther mrigs and evenings parked on the hi*ghway wonerigiftherjb aeraiy wortii it. Lest time, gos money up in amoke and nerves frazzied by inconsiderate MW 1