PAGE 16, WH1TBY FREE PRESS, WEDNESDAY, JUNE 20, 1990 Imagine is a national campaign of The Canadian Centre for Philanthropy to increase I Canadians' awareness and contribution to aIl charitable and volunteer organizations. We support their goals and are contributing space for the Imagine ads on this and other pages. To bring the campaign dloser to home, the Whitby Free Press is runnmng a series of profiles of the needs and activities of local organizations. Cail us if your orgamization could use a boost. single step to a ewbeginin By Trudie Zavadovlcs The concept of one-parent fam- ilies, once consideredan oddity, is nowý becoming a norm. When- Mary Elliott was widowed several years ago, she had a difficuit time adjusting to the new single status, as a woman and as a parent. which she was foroed into. Today, she is president of the North Oshawa chapter of the One Parent Fam- ily Asocation of Canada. Over ber e ighit years with the assoiation,she has cultivated lasting friendships and support that bas made coping with a very difflicuit situation much easier. "I was really surprised at how mnany single people there w-re,-" says Elliott. Toay, in the Duir- ham Region about 300 single parents belong to the association. They flnd support for tbem- selves and tbeir chi1dren, and as weIl, tbey find social acceptance and activities that are not sfruc- tured to tbe two parent family. "The One Parent Family Asso- ciation goes from Quebec to Brit- isb Columbia,» says Elliott. «We're working together tobhelp eacb other.» Some activities include sports events sncb as ba.seball. Trips to the Skydome, the zoo, Canada's Wonderland, to name a few, are arranged. Some activities are subsidi*zed through the organiza- tion so everyone gets to partici- pate. As well there are >aduit activi- ties such as diriner theatre and potluck dinners. Membership meetings are every Wednesday. There are often gixest speakers dealing witb issues tbat corne up for single parents. The 1991 national conventionj is scheduled to be held in Osb- awa, at the Holiday Inn. This is a first , and a real featber in tbe ca of the Durbam Associates. Eflliott says the association is very family-oriented and not desiçned for matcbmaking. But ifit senotional support you're looking for, tbere's plenty to be bad. Gail Dudley of Whitby bas beena snge parent or 18 montbs. She has Clonged to tbe One Pafent Farnily Association for one year. She joined at the urging of one of ber married friends. "I must bave went up and down tbe stairs at least six times before I went into tbe meeting," says Dudley. "It was a very hard tbîng to do. You feel ve yalone.» "I was greeted by Mary Elliott. It was a very small meeting because it was during Mfest Week. I was made to tèel very welcome. "I expected to meet a group of pole with tbe sarne bond. And 1dd. Te organization lived up toeverytbin1linagined. Igot to take my kids laces (two girls - agedlN and 15i) wbere I don't know I would bave been able to manage on my income. "One Parent Familles also pro- vided me witb a group of friends Fin comfortable witb and activi- ties- that put me back into the positve day in-. our lives.' She says tbere are also many unm- promptuact iviislike p o0 p r ties or otluck dinners. 1 Dudley too emphasizes that tbe One l>areit Fam«iy Associa- >tion is not designed for match- making. 1 «It is not a meat. market,» says Dudley. "Unfortunately, tbat's a stigma She urges prospective membrs not to prejudge it as sucb. "One Parent Family Associa- tion is wbatever you want to make it . Besides bah n fun and build- ing friendsbips, IDudley bas also built back her'self-esteem. «I bave a mucb higber self- esteem. I feel mucb bappier witb my married friends. I know rm a valuable asset to tbe community. Now, I'm just as comfortable witb my married friends as I arn with my one-parent friends. Now, I believe, F'm comfortable wth myself. "As for Mr. *igbt, wbo knows wbere or if tbere is one. NJobod4y tbinks a 20-year marriage is gon to end. Itwas not.asm-rpr- ise, 1 could see it coming. But tbere's still a certain amount Of impact wbten tbe papers arrive. It's very stressful on yourself and on the children. «I knew Pd make it on my own,» says Dudley. "I didnt know Fd be as succesaful at it. rve received a vast arnount of support from ýnj friends at One- Parent Fanîily. She says tbat for everytbing sbe's given ta One Parent Fam- ilies, sbe's got it back ten-fold. Sbe took a chance tbat cbanged her life for the better. Randy Haverchuk bas been a single parent for eigbt montbs. GAIL DUJDLEY bits one home at a One Parent Family basebail game. Two of his four childien live witb bim. He moved to Whitby two montbs ago from British Col- umnbia. Hie had first joied tbe One Parent Family Asociation ini B.C. and on kLs move to Whitby, looked up the organiza- tion again. Haviercbuk enjoys the social aspec of the group. It provides a good social life. Every weekend one chapter bas sometbing on. I enjoy the sport- mng events. There are also weely meetings witb guest speakers. It fille a void.» Thie One Parent Family Asso- ciation has been in Durham Region sinoe 1974. Anvr parents, wbether they bave chldren liv- in with tbem.or not, can join. he membershfp'>fee is $30. a year. For more information cail 668- rmnember that dream yo had last nmght? i! It's me, your conscience. Living here in your dreams is like having passes to the world's most exciting movies.. .with you and me in the starring roles! Sometimes you're the monster that swailowed the Universe . ..or the last of the great romantics . ..and some- times you're a hero -doing extraordinary things and making people's lives better. My very favourite movie is the one where you reach deep within us and change the world, simply by giving time and money to help the people around us. And like ai geat stars, you make helpmng causes you care about look easy. Could we watch that one tonight? fil Imagine is a national program - ~to encourage giving and volunteening. wm~mm~ - - - - - -.- -.- -. p4F**IW*M