WHMTY FRE RESS, WEDNESDAY; 0CTBFM 4,'199, PAGE 5 I met him in a bar in Oshawa, from which you can tell how far he had fallen. Each night he drank until his'memories faded, bis -bunions ached no more, and he fell asleep with his nose hooked over a half-empty draft. He was an empty sheil of a man.. I wasn't always this way," he said n night. The drink had relaxed histongue but had hotyet robbed hlm of bis senses. I lifted one eyebrow. "Once I was a leader of men. People Both men and women. Successful. F'reedom fifty-five mar goal in life." Sure, Charlie. "swear it. Job in Toronto. Yu-niQ castie, 4,600 square feet, in Wihitby. How's that for lsucoess? Siate roof, skylight in the ensuite batn, real, not imitation marbie in the foyer." 'Yeah" I said, bored. "And inter.locking brick driveway, a weeping mulberr by the fnt walk."l He sipped bis drink. I1 was the ldng.'~ "il bet."0 I wrote the book." "Sy again." He began drawing little circles with, the bottom of bis glass. ý I wrote the book on management training. Several books*'" Fin skeptical when drunks babble. 'Tqame one." Again he paused. The tavern hubbub washed over us, almost swallowing bis words. Banging The Chicken Coops -- a management handbook.' That was the biggy. Sales soýred, we gave week-long semnrs... Maybe you've heéird of it?" 'Tell me about it," I said, feigning indifference. He sat upright and pushed away seveýaI half empty glasses of draft beer. "'s really just management based on a few farm techniques," he said. 'You see, I was raijsed on a farmn back in the forties or fifties. I forget whých. As a kid I used te run around the range shelte>s, those little WITH OUR FEET UP by Bill Swan Bar-room..babblie cbickcen coops out in the fields w14ere we kept cbickens in summer. I would bang the cMop with a big stick. Know what happened?" "You made a lot of noise. You got spanked." "YIup. Ail of those. And the c hickens kicked up a fuss you wouldn't believe. Flappir ! and squawking and stoppin' on one another, it were a.sight." "And that's your book." 'Wope. But that was the foundation of my management technique. Imagin~ a new boss coming inte a department. Maybe a ne~ plant manager. The main problem is getting people oi t of old ruts. Cet 'em into new ruts, I always say." "So where do the cbickens com in?" "So the new boss runs around, banging the chicken coops. Gets everybody all upset~ Watches 'em start flappin' and squawking and sto pin' on one another. Then hie can go in and wring th necks of those who squawk the loudest and settled 1he rest down where he wants 'em. Some of them set le down where they were; some find perches higher ut in the roost, others lower down. Those who roost higher end up pooping on those below them." "SÃ"unds like rnost jobs rve ever had." 'That's the beauty of it. Everyone recognizes it. I had a little industry going there for a wbile. God, it's good te talk about it. It's been what, two, three years. I had spin-off books: ' How te, Survive a Cbick Coop Boss' and 'Coop Coups? and 'Wringing Necks the Humane Way.ý' "So what happened?" "What happened? The old man caught me, that's what." -S"Say again."e "You said the old man likely spanked me for banging those cbicken coops? WelI, he did it again. There hie was, one Saturday morning in a sem inar'for bank managers. Just barged, right in, grabbed the mike outta my hand. Know what he said?" I waited. "He told them about me as a kid. Told, them that one summer I banged on tWenty four coops. Killed three hundred and sixty liens. Coet him bis farm, bis wife, bis faniily. I guess thafs why I neyer saw him after that summer. He said banging cbicken coops was great fun for nin e-year-olds, but had no place in farmi management or management of any kind. Right there, in front of paying custemers, he wrung my neck." Hie reached forward with artbiritic hands te, grasp the lip of a glass, tilted it and poured the contents down bis throat. "And your father?" I asked, then was ashamed I did. "lm? Oh, he gave a few seminars of his own. 'Feeding The Gold Goose!.' Fatting the Feeding Calf.' 'Why Domestic Geese Don't Fly South!' The banker managers loved hlm. He even' threw in anti-union quips from Animal Farm. Finally, he made enough money te go back inte cbicken farming." Hie pulled bimself back into bis draft beer, then a beaten man. If you mieet him in any of Oshawa's low-life bars, tell 'im Bill sent you. Fact finder apponted in dspute The Education Relations Commission has appointed Robert Lynch of Corbeil te act as fact finder in the negotiations between the secondary teachers and the trustees of the Durham Region Roman Catholic School Board. Lynch will meet with the parties and write a report setting out which matters have been agreed upon and wbich matters remain in dispute. The report may also contain recommèndations for settlement. Lynclh bas a varied and distingu4shed career as an educator witbin the Province of Ontario. lEs experience includes Lotto wrnnter A Witby resident won' a Lottario second prize. Heino Parnsalu claimed $22,915 in the Seut. 16 draw. positions as a teacher principal1, superintendent and 14$rears as a director of education with the Nipissing Board of Education. SIMPROVING YÙUR ODDS AGANSff CAMNDS #1 ILLER. 4ENNIE bYNNE _ _ _Im S1 M lm .110 luN3 BLACK FOREST HAM BY THE PIECE OR SLICED s31e69LBO GROUND PORK 99ÈkIB CROWN SIDE ROAST OF BACON PORK $2*.9QLB. $l.49LB PORK MN STUFFING MN IDEAL FOR TURKEY HAMS S DRESSING '$l.69LB. $2.99LBO FRESH GRADE 'A' TURKEYSI WHILE SUPPLIES $ > AO~Jennie-Lynne Meats "~ eat ~1614 Dundas St E. *0 ~ WHITBY **cz To (Acros From The Brlck) Open: Tues.-Wed. 9-6 Thurs.-Fri. 9-8 434-MEATý Saturday 8-5