WHITBY FREE PRESS, WEDNESDAY, MARCH 8,1989, PAGE 5 You have to think about it hard. I mean, really hard. Cheating. Not just routine cheating -- the type that experts tell us everybody does. No, Olympic calibre cheating. Let us go to the Dubin inquiry. There, see, on the stand: Charlie (The Chemist) Francis, sprint coach and mentor to Ben Johnson. So, says Francis, Ben cheated. So did most of the other athletes in Francis' stable. Why, everybody else cheated so it became necessary to cheat, just to become an also-ran. The cheating involved taking performance-enhancing drugs, which can make mighty men of mousy messes. Steroids add muscle bulk and power, and, if used adroitly, speed. That's what made Ben Johnson famous: power and speed. The fastest man alive. So there's Charlie Francis telling the whole world that Ben cheated to do it. But let's listen more closely. Someone.spiked Ben's urine sample. Charlie says. Spiked it? Yeah, like tampered with it so his use of drug would be revealed. Aw, come on! You don't mean ... That's right. Somebody cheated. Somebody deliberately put something in Ben's beer, or in his urine sample, to convince the testers that something afoul was afoot. Can you imagine someone stooping so low? Let's listen to paraphrase of Charlie's reasoning: Ben had been off steroids long enough to have cleared his system. Ben may have cheated. Francis says, but with expert help he cheated smart and never should have been caught. But cloak and dagger skullduggery behind the scenes did Ben in. The old spiked pee routine and Ben it revealed. Gimme back that gold medal. Zap. Score one for the CIA and Carl Lewis and the good old U.S. of A. The world's fastest man is hobbled. WITH OUR FEET UP by Bill Swan Olympic-calibre cheating And Francis, who should know, says it never would have happened if someone had not cheated and framed. Ben. I mean, okay, he did cheat a little himself. But he got caught for somebody else's spit-balls. And Francis? He did duck out immediately after the scandal broke and hung his athletes out to dry. But lie? never! Now we just have to wait for Ben Johnson to testify to the same crowd. I just happened across my column from two weeks ago (Feb. 22, titled 29 per cent.) My heart still thumps from the shock. Somebody lost the first manuscript page. So there, for all the world to see, sat pages 2, 3, 4. Which made the introduction more weak and confused than usual. What hurts most is that neither of my readers thought anything of it. Well, said one, it was kind of an abrupt beginning but I thought maybe this was some esoteric way of catching the readers' attention. Esoteric my foot. What hurts most is that it took ME two weeks to notice. And nobody will ever know if my computer ate the page, or the printer chewed itor my daughter colored it, or if it still sits in the editorial and production offices of the Whitby Free Press, lurking in some dark corner to foul some ture column. For posterity, then, we will repeat as much of the missing page as we have room for. Those with a glue pot and scissors and no sanity can attach this to the right spot to the clippinge on the refrigerator. Here goes. A hush falls over the world at five o'clock. Office doors close. Factory whistles sound. Parking lots become little race tracks. In Beaver, Ont. for example, rush hour lasts all of five maybe ten minutes. Does that nullify excuses at dawdling? Let's take a look at the Lone Star Saloon. Not only is the parking lot full, but many regulars are double parked out front. Inside, Lucas Letterpress, editor and proprietor of The Flat Tail, the only newspaper published in Beaver for Beavers by Beavers (our mottor: Dam it all) has bellied up to the bar. Since Lucas is only four foot ten, it's more like chinning up. Lucas is talking politics to a stranger. (Sign behind the bar: You're stranger here but once; after that, You're Weird!) " ... and I say it just proves my contention that all religious people are dangerous," the stranger is saying. "Anyone who acts like the Mafia should. .. " The end of the sentence gets lost. Lucas lifts his glass. "Ain't it the truth," he replies. he turns, and who should come barging through the bat-wings but Mayor Johnny Cannuck, and behind him Razor Strop and Bent Broadaxe. All three rub their hand, gleeful at the roomful of taxpayers. If there is anything a politician likes better than a taxpayer it is a voter. Sometimes. (The rest you've seen.) Salon owner opposes plan for Wagner parking garage A parking garage proposed by Steve Wagner at the southeast corner of Dundas St. and Green St. was opposed Monday night by the owner/operator of the beauty salon next door. The parking garage, to be three levels, will be about one story in height on the site of the existing parking lot behind the office building, off Green St. Donna Borchuck, of La Con- tessa Beauty Salon at 119 Green St., operates the salon down- stairs and an apartment upstairs in her building next door to the lot. She listed her concerns about the parking garage, noting there would be car fumes, noise, loss of privacy, all affecting the tenants in ber apartment; property depreciation; and potential struc- tural impact on her building should construction of the garage occur. Wagner said he had approa- ched Borchuk about purchasing her property, and added that "In my estimation, I've offered twice what it's worth." But Borchuk later denied that claim. Wagner also noted that his property bas central commercial zoning. "I can understand the concerns for the apartment, but it's com- mercial zoning and the applica- tion is within the bylaws. "the building I'm gutting up, I'm entitled.to put up. He said 90 per cent of the garage space will be occupied by tenants of his office building. Noting that the downtown area needs parking areas, he said that would free parking in the area for people wanting to shop down- town. "If I put the building up, there'll be more parking down- town." Wagner estimated the cost of the garage at $1.5 million. Planning director Bob Short said parking by building employees on the top open level would allow "general disperse- ment" of fumes. He also men- tioned that street openings should have decorative steel ta enhance the garage. The upper level of the garage is to be four to five feet above grade, but a wall would be three lee higher than that, with wrought iron suggested by Short for the top of the wall. Wagner said he paid $700,000, or about $50 a square foot, for the former West Lynde burger building at Ontario and Brock Sts. "I'm ready to pay Mrs. Bor- chuk $90 a square foot," said Wagner. Borchuk later said the Town should protect her tenants, not- ing that the parking garage will be right along her property line, within a few feet of her building. "To me, it's politics," she said of the garage application process. "T think it's dirty pool." Restrictions "not strong" Operations committee did not deal "strongly" enough with car dealers on Dundas St. E. bet- ween Anderson St. and Thickson Rd. when imposing no stopping restrictions for the street, says Whitby councillor Joe Drumm. Committee recommended that tractor-trailers, when parking on Dundas St. E. to deliver cars to dealers, be prohibited from stop- ping from 7 to 9 a.m. and 4 to 6 p.m. With the exception of Drumm, SEE PAGE 15 -I UP TO STOCK TAKING SALE MONDAY MARCH 6'TO SATURDAY MARCH 18 SNYDER, HEKMAN, SEBESTIAN COOPER BROTHERS, STRATHROY VOGEL, KAUFMAN, CROWN DESIGN SYLVAN ... AND MANY, MANY MORE ADDITIONAL SAVINGS UP TO 60% 1R541 Bayly St. E. HOURS ± AJAX MONTHURS. 10-6 FR1. 10-9 SAT. 10-5 3tenAaxadW ib 8&lST<BflftNI68&.4737 'u