WHTBY FREE PRESS, WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 1, 1989, PAGE 5 Scene one: the main street in front of The Lone Star Saloon. Mayor Johnny Cannuck's limo has been double parked for two hours. Mayor Johnny is inside, playing.another hand of the Free Trade Poker Stakes, or bellying up to the bar, or flirting with Gertie Garter. - Scene two: he could have been a liquor store clerk, or a parking lot attendant, or a student of the occult. Whatever, he has dressed in a loin cloth, and is proceeding down the middle of the main street. He is stone cold sober, a frightening thought. He is a Wing-nut. He is shouting: "Beware the nits of.Hivrubranty; heaving holts of herbs, beware." He marches forward and stands on the front left fender of the mayor's lima. He is standing there, gesticulating, when Lucas Letterpress approaches. Lucas is owner, editor and sole reporter for The Flat Tail, Beaver's only newspaper. Lucas is always searching for a story. 'Behold the taie loin," shouts the Wing-nut. "He could not sea for the Press; the roll of the press is to comfart the afllicted and afflict -the comfortable, and Lucas has it all backward." He laughs, his sock feet finally sliding off the polished fender. Undaunted, he dlimbs back Up. Lucas saunters up to the limo and props his right foot on the polished bumper. "What scandal are we missing now?" Lucas queries with smirk. Lucas has always felt the Press has a certain affiliation with the insane: if not a brotherhood, then at least a working relationship. "Scandal? Did you not hear the mayor's henchperson tell the brewery workers to drink lager? And did not the mayor sell.ibs maiden aunt's farm just to settle his poker debts? Bless the Wall, we are a marketing nation " WITH OUR FEET UP by Bill Swani Behold the tame loin The Wing-nut falls forward, pressing his forehead against the still-warm hood of the car. Lucas takes out his pen and notebook. "You're talking about the councillor's statement this week about the brewery workers who lose their jobs should read the want ads?" "A conspiracy! The press is muted for pure profits! Write your editorial about that, you baror cf Cold Phototype!" Lucas fowns. The Wing-nut continues: 'Who was it won the rights to serve all the beer during the Free Trade Poker Stakes? Right? And is granted guarantees against being traded -- something that wasn't even granted to Gretzky. And now what happens? Let them drink beer!" Mayor Johnny Cannuck picks this moment to emerge from The Lone Star. He spies the Wing-nut on the hood of the limo, and stands at the bat-wing doors for a moment adjusting the belt to his overcoat. It is a gesture designed to buy time. The Wing-nut spies him. "Great Carrion! Our munificence, the mayor! And what mayhem reap yee on the citizenry today?" Mayor Johnny is nothing if not equal to the occasion. "Glad to see you, my friend," he says, offering his hand. "I see you have been offering bon mots to the press here." He indicates Lucas with a nod of his head. "A wise move. The press often will feed the hand that bites it." The Wing-nut sita, suddenly, denting the hood of the limo. "And what is our greatest strength?" be asks. "Which.is more important, truth, duty and free speech or the right to bank on Sunday?" Mayor Johnny smiles. "Marketing is what made this country what it is today. But lil tell you what, my fiiend. Ilil make you a littla deal." Mayor Johnny reaches for bis topcoat pocket and pulls out a deck of carda. "Now what you will see will emerga before you very eyes," he says, shufiling the deck forward and backward, shaking jokers from his sleeves. He deals out the deck on the hood of the car. "Viola! Tha banda that created tha Free Trada Poker Stakes have juat dealt you a c net shuffle." He offers the deck to the Wing-nut. "Have a nice day. Now get off the hood of my car." The Wing-nut complies, sliding to the ground, counting the carda as he doee so. "Fifty-one," he says to Lucas as the mayor's limo pulls away. "Whatdaya mean?" Lucas replies. "In the deck. Fifty-one cards. Your wonderful mayor ain't playing with a full deck, you know. You'd have to be insane to believe anything he says." He drops the cards on Lucas' notepad, hitches u his loin cloth and walks away. Last anyone sees him, he is heading for the Legion Hall and a night of philosophy. Lucas never does write a story about him. Teachers' contract ratified, class size standards included By Debbie Luchuk Durham Region secondary school teachers and the Durham Board of Education have ratified last Monday's contract deal. The Ontario Secondary School Teachers Federation struck for only one day, last Monday, while marathon bargaining reached a tentative settlement that night. The teachers voted 77 per cent in favor of the deal last Friday and the board has also ratified the deal. The main issues were staffing levels, wages, benefits, and class sizes. OSSTF District 17 president AI Monks is pleased with the new two-year contract. "A 4.85-per cent increase (in wages) will be in effect retroac- tively from September for the flrst year, and 4.95 in the second year." "Forty-five new teachers will be hired, and maximum class sizes were determined: 30 for advanced (classes); 26 for general (classes); 22 for basic (classes) 20 for shop (classes) and 16 for basic level shop (classes)," Monks said. Benefits include the board pay- ing 50 per cent of maternity leave premiums. "That's a big step," Monks said. The "just cause" clause was strengthened, and an employee- management relations committee will be formed to deal with issues as they arise throughout the next two years, Monks said. "I think both sides are very happy with the deal. There was a lot of concern on both sides that we might not reach a settlement; we worked very hard. That's what collective bargaining is all about." Whitby trustee Patty Bowman, who part of the negotiating team for the board, was also pleased with the outcome of negotiations. "I think the main concern has been one of staffing. We're trying to sort out ways and means that we can work together. As an employer, or at least, myself, I don't want to see people strike to sort out labor reitions issues,» Bowman said, referring to the employee-management relations committee that will be created in the near future. Bowman was impressed that communications continued "to the wire" and further into the strike day to arrive at a tentative agreement that day. "We were pleased to be able to make adjustments in certain areas," s e said, noting, for example, five more teachers added than originally offered by the board. "The Province has figures on staffing, the federation has figures and we have figures. What we've given is a lot in the sense of (realizing) that we need ta communicate, agree ta find a resolution. "It's people writing the pro- cess, not the process governing people." Secondary school teachers will have another contract discussion in September (the end of the first year of the two-year contract), said Bowman. The board and teachers have until that time ta resolve any labor issues. See us for your freezer needs! CO CD (D c (n Il< 0 cn CD CD D7 CD c: -Je See us for your freezer needs! EAST END. QUALITY MEATS & DELICATESSEN Serving you personally with the finest in meats, cold cuts and cheeses. 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