WHITBY FREE PRESS, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 6, 1988, PAGE 23 Durham Region group helps sexually abused teens Teens Asking for Self Help is a group for teenagers over 16 who have been sexually abused. The group is operated by three volun- teers who have extensive experien- ce in dealing with the issue of child sexual abuse, and has been operating in Durham Region since February, 1987. The group is co-led by a Children's Aid Society foster parent and two volunteers for the Children's Aid Society. Space for the group is provided by the Children's Aid Society at the Mid- town Mall in Oshawa, and teen between the ages of 16 to 18 may at- tend the group at no cost. Teens are not required to have any contact with a CAS social worker, unless they themselves request this because they think it could help them. The group meets Monday evenings between 7 and 9 p.m. The group includes presentations on topic chosen by group members, as well as speakers from the com- munity. A local lawyer, Joanne Ferguson, met with the group to answer questions about the legalities of sexual assault on children. A detective from the Durham Regional Police Depar- tment attended to explain the operations of the police department with respect to these matters. A Durham Region public health nurse and representatives from Rape Crisis and the Distress Centre have also attended to provide infor- mation. Topics or questions chosen by group members have included boyfriends, dating, feelings about family situtions, court, the reac- tions of brothers and sisters to sexual assault within a family, hair care, pets, school problems, deciding whether or not to lay charges regarding sexual assault, peer pressures, alc.ohol and drug misuse, etc. The focus on the group is to support the teens to find positive, non-destructive solutions to problems which they themselves wish to work on. The confidentiality guidelines of the group are ex- plained to new members by co- leaders beforehand. Teens who join the group usually decide on the length of time they wish to stay in it. Some of the teens who find it especially helpful are those who feel that they have lost all their family supports as a result of sexual assault within their family. Pat, as a CAS foster parent for eight years, became interested in the issue of sexual abuse as she discovered a majority of the more than 200 children who have passed through her home as foster children had been physically, sexually or emotionally abused. She and her husband have three children of their own who have also helped out with the stresses of having more than 200 temporary brothers or sisters pass through their home. Pat's husband has also been ac- tively involved with the foster children. Anne is a CAS volunteer for six years. She has worked with children who have been sexually abused, mothers' whose children have been sexually abused, and has led an adult incest survivor group. She has given many presentations and talks in Durham Region high schools. She has also presented workshops in sexual abuse to the Ontario and National Associations of Distress Centre counsellors. An- ne and her husband have three children, and her husband has sup- ported Anne's activities in dealing with the issue of child sexual abuse. Susan is also a CAS volunteer whose experience has been similar to Anne's. In addition, she worked with two CAS social workers Lynn Factor and Faye Cummings in a support and treatment group for teen victims of sexual abuse. In ad- dition she co-led the adult incest Survivor group with Anne. She has also worked as a volunteer in the CAS Alternate - to - Care Program doing sports acitivites with various teen groups. She and her husband have recently become parents. The group currently has eight members but there is room for up to four more members. Anne, one of the co-leaders states: "We have a few things in common. One of these is the fact that we were once victims of abuse, and now we are helping ourselves and others deal with their abuse." She adds that the group is a place where members can go to talk about and work through their feelings and fears without feeling ashamed or to blame. All three co-leaders stress that it is not necessary for someone who has been sexually assaulted to hà ve laid criminalcharges. The co- leaders and the group will support whatever decision members' make in this regard. Information and support will be offered to group members, if they do decide to ap- proach the police in order to decide whether or not to press charges. The following brief accounts were written by four of the current group members: - Account No. 1 I am 18 years old and I am a vic- tim of sexual abuse. I have been at- tending the Teens Asking for Self Help group for eight months. I come to this group in order to be around people who have been through the same experiences as I have. I can talk openly and freely about what happened and I have learned to cope with what I have been through. I am still going to this group because it helps me un- derstand why I was a victim, and it makes me strong enough that I can deal with the fat that it happened to me, and make sure that I am prepared to face it if it ever hap- pens again to me or to anyone else I know. This group helps me under- stand myself and I've gotten to know my strengths and weaknesses. Account No. 2 I am a victim of sexual abuse, but I am also a survivor; My abuse began when I was 6 years of age, by my friend's father. The abuse star- ted with just petting, then oral sex, and sexual intercourse. I began this group eight months ago. I come to group in order to vent my anger, but also to help me talk out and solve my problems. The group give me a place to talk, relax and just be myself. The group has given my self-respect back, and has also helped me to accept what has hap- pened to me. I am a survivor of my sexual abuse! Account No 3. I was abused sexually, mentally and physically by my father. I come to group so that I can become the best person I can be. Also, I never want to do this awful thing to my children. I plan to con- tinue coming to Teens Asking for Self Help for as long as the group exists. So far, this group has helped me with my self esteem and poten- tial. It gives me a place to let all my oroblems out. Teens interested in membership in the group may contact co-leaders by phoning Bowmanville, 623-1215 after 5 p.m. Monday to Friday. They may also contact Grant Fair, co-ordinator of the sexual abuse treatment program of the Children's Aid Society, at 433-1551 (Oshawa) or 427-2928 (Ajax) bet- ween 8:30 to 4:30 p.m. Monday to Friday. CALL A PROFESSIONAL El MR. 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