WHITY MRE PRESS, WEDNESDAY, FEBRUAIRY 17,1988, PAGE 5 Reetreports state that our education system fails to ignite the lust for knowledge which lies buried in every, teenager's heart. In other words, sehools aren't doing what they are sup- posed to do. One-third of. the students drop out before graduation. Experts would have you believe that this can be changed by altering the course of studies. If teens don't like physies, let them study subjects which will serve them weil out on the street, or in the job market. Given such changes, virtually one hundred per cent of teens will be graduated from high school, experts dlaim. This theory fails to take into account the non-human at- tributes of the, teen mmnd. To put it mlldly, they ain't like you or me. Fact is, they're likely like we were -which should frighten us spitless. .Try this: take one teenager about, oh, maybe sixteen years of age. Try to teach this teen the word "Dish- washer." (For the sake of science, we assume your household has a dishwasher. We realize that this may not be the case, and that you, dear reader, may be cohabiting with someone who washes dishes for the sole promise of sexual favors.« But bear with us.) Stand the teenager in front of the dishwasher. Use any teaching technique known to huperpeoplekind. Point to the machine. Say, slowýly, "Dish-wash-er". Demonstrate its function in any way you can. Now one would think that the same human mind that can name sixteen current pop bands, their albums (in consecutive order) and the play time of each cut on the album would catch on. The best I've been able to get at this point is a dumb look and one syllable: "Huh?" But if you think that job is tough, try getting the same teenager to find he dishwasher. Take the teen by the hand. Point. Caress the front the machine. Say, "Nice WITH, OUR FEET UP by Bill Swan- They ain't like you or me dishwasher." Pat the machine. Demonstrate the opening of the door, the smooth sliding of olled hinges. Some might be naive enough to think that the sanie han- ds that at the age of two crushed haîf the good crystal in a similar machine would on the brink of adulthood show some comprehension. Huh? But the cruncher: Try getting the teen to actually deposit dirty dishes inside the machine. . Mild success has been reported by sorne people who hold out significant bribes. Car keys, for example, have a salivating effect. Yet fpr ail the effort, the gains are short ived. Through such efforts you might get the teen to say the word "Dishwasher" (albeit with a touch of derision) and some say the teen mind is capable of poining to the dishwashing machine on c ommand. A few dlaim to have succeeded in actually having dirtydishes properly arranged in the racks of the machine. It is all ilusory; rote memory done with no understan- ding. Let the kid loose with the car keys and a tankful of gas and next day you have to start from the top one more time. Speaking of cars and gas. tanks -you think Latin, or calculus tough?, With a teenagers affinity for wheels, you would think it natural to equate gas tanks and fuel and money and filliflg up. Forget it. I even tried it once by giving thé kid the cash to f111 up the tank, thinking that since the kid is between engagements, as they say in show biz, that the reason he wasn't filling the tank was because he couldn't afford it. Wrong again. Two hours later -with the needie fiat over the empty and the warning light on now for two days -he returned home. He gave me back rny car, took his mother's vehicle and left again. His reason? "Mom's car has a full tank. I didn't have time to stop and fi11 up. " .He did, however, have time to stop at the pizza shop and blow my twenty bucks. SDo teen minds ever become normal? Despite the popular belief, somne evidence suggests that teen minds hatch into duli, methodical, predictable adult minds. That's encouraging. But educators should get back to worring about dress codes, and hair cuts, talking in the halls and zapping students who go up the down staircase. If they did, éducation might make another giant step, back thirty years. If you go back thirty years enough times -say, roughly 65 -then they'll aIl have to learn to speak Latin to be street smart. Building 'slowdown *m.January, Building in Whitby in the first month of 1988 slowed down considerably from the saine tinie last year. A report from the public works department shows $5,034,550 in building pernilts were issued in January compared to $8,679,246 ini January of 1987. "P not really concerned about the figures, they will level out," comments Mayor Bob Atterséley on the report. Ail sectors of building slowed 10A..-430* M (2bos ouofBr) Hl rHeart. down including residential. Residential permute totalling $3,884,255 were issued compared to $4,111,246 in January, 1987. Commercial permuts totalled $796,700, down from $2,294,000 a year before. Industrial permite also declined as $249,595 worth 'of permits were issued. In January Iast year the Town issued $2,274,000 in industrial permuits. The Town collected $32,821 in permit fees during January. IbUflS MASTER e.7 DAHRY Feb.21 BUY' Maritime Brown FREEZEAND Bread * $1009 Whitby Store OnIy 1380 HOPKINS 666-1177 Open 7 Days a Week, Avalabte ar. WHITBY OPTICAL 105 Coiborne St. West Downtown, Whitby (1 block south of the 4 Coner) i66-383 1