WH1TBY FREE PRESS, WEI)NESDAY, NOVEMBER 25, 1987, PAGE 5 The wood-burning stove delighted the eye. It had a black stove pipe jutting up from it like a periscope; it had flangs and feet. And best of all it had a yuppy-brass frame around a two-layer cast iron door. And the stove pipe went up, zing, about three feet, made an abrupt right turn and exited straight into a bricked chimney. They liked it so well they bought the house, and waited impatiently for fall and winter to arrive so they could lay in cords of wood and sit around at night watching the flames dance. It was to be nostalgic poetry. It was to be financial poetry as well, all those dancing little flames flickering away at the hydro bill. Fall did arrive, and with it a truck load of firewood, complete with a bill almost as large as the hydro bill itself. Poetry, they decided, definitely is not carrying a bush cord of wood from the front drive to the shed out back. They soon also found that wood stoves do not bum by wood alone. They took out subscriptions with three more newspapers to provide the ignition for kindling. Experience also taught them other things; a bush cord of matches were soon piled beside the firewood in the back shed. Eventually, evenings were bliss, with flames dancing in front of the glass door. Soon their conversation sparkled: "Did you split enough kindling for the morning?" "Should the firewood spit and sizzle like that?" "Why does the smoke pour out into the room when you open the door?" "Where did you ever learn to light a match? Surely you should have smoked for a couple of years...." "Why does the fire keep going out?" 'Why does the glass door keep getting blacker and blacker?" "What is that brown goo oozing out of the concrete blocks in the chimney?" WITH OUR FEET UP by Bill Swan Up the chinme That brown goo, they learned, was creosote. Some of the fumes also were coming from the chimney. After a brief discussion in which he said he had grown up with coal and wood fires and there was nothing to be alarmed about and she said she didn't care if he grew up with Cinderella she was calling the fire department and he said good grief they'll think we're balmy and she said Id rather be balmy than dead of fumes so finally they agreed that the fire department should make a house call. And the fireman said, yes, that stain was creosote and if you're getting fumes better shut the fire down, it's a good thing you called us, and then he took his rain coat and his walkie talkie and went away without even waking up the two-year-old sleeping in the same room. So then they called stove and chimney people and some came and said the chimney would have to come down and cost $3,000 or so to put a new one on the outside of the house where it ihould have been in the first place. And he said, don't call us, we'll call you when we win a lottery, ha, ha. And other experts said, what you need is a stainless steel liner, but what size liner do you have? Too bad, you need at least a six and a half inch hole and you have an eight inch clay liner and that gives you a hole only too small so as I said too bad, eh? And they ended up on the roof one night with another expert who dangled a light down the chimney and sang songs from Mary Poppins. They soon learned that the fire department had not yet decided whether stainless steel chimney liners were a good thing or not, since they had been on the market only a couple of years and that's too soon to tell, eh? But it certainly is cheaper. Cheaper in this case comes to more than five hundred dollars and she said, that's more than we ever would save on the hydro bill in one bitter winter, and he said yes but it's an investment in the future and she said, is it safe and he said it's guaranteed for ten years or three years, or something like that, and she said okay. So that is why they have told everyone that most of the Christmas budget· this year is going up the chimney. Really. And, like, staying there. And if Santa makes a clumsy effort, and gets his suspenders caught in the flexible elbows then he can just.... The wood-burning stove was to have added nostalgia to their Christmas. The poetry of flames would flick away at the hydro bills and winter evenings. And best of all was the yuppy brass door. The periscope of a stove pipe stuck into the brick wall. They liked it so well they bought the house. Even Aker attends 'successful'session at Red Oak By ROXANNE REVELER A much criticized study session held recently at the Red Oak Inn, Peterborough, turned out to be a "success" according to most regional councillors who attended. "Even Aker showed up," said regional chairman Gary Herrema, referring to Oshawa councillor John Aker, who was most vocal in his objection to holding the two-day session outside the borders of Durham. The major item on the agenda was waste disposal, according to the chairman. Gerry Emm, councillor from Whitby and chairman of public works, indicated an entire session one day was devoted to the subject of waste. "We had John Fleming (chief administrative officer of Halton Region) as guest speaker and he explained in detail how much eoney they (Halton) has spent trying to find a landfill site," said Emm. "They couldn't get approval and now have to ship their garbage to the U.S.A." Herrema echoed these thoughts, adding waste disposal and its related financing were of prime importance during the session. He said there were many alternatives open to Durham, and each had to be .assessed on its own merit. Ajax and Pickering have gone on record saying they wili flght Metro Toronto's plan to open a new dump site in Ajax temporarily once the Brock North dump closes in 1989 or 1990. The new site would remain open for a five-year period while Metro searches for another dump within the boundaries of Durham. But Herrema, while agreeing that a new, permanent dump site has to be found, told The Free Press there would be "no way" he would allow Metro to open a 1,000-acre dump in the region. "They (Metro) have to build an incinerator and go strongly into recycling," said Herrema. "A thousand acres is far too large for a dump....no one wants something that big in their backyard." Longterm financing was also a hot topic of discussion. Apart from speaking about financing a waste disposal site, financing of such forthcoming items as a 911 emergency tefephone system and the maintenance of Durham's extensive road system and construction of new roads was discussed. Herrema stuck by his guns that more can be accomplished by holding a study session away from the Durham area. His philosophy was that councillors and staff (all but two attended) would have no outside disturbances such as telephone cals and appointments which would make them miss parts of the discussions. Make Your Christmas Dreams Come True! Serving carts with flairl Mobile serving carts crafted in the heirloom tradition of Kaufman are now offered for gift giving and party making. Styling to blend with any decor. Used as a gourmet helper, beverage bar, ecology planter, these mobile servers will transform any room or occasion. (Special Expires Dec. 20/87. Free Delivery) •GLASS STAYS CLEAN•eCHIMNEY STAYS CLEAN See Canada's most efficient wood-burners See our display of Glass Doors, Toolsets, Accessories and Giftware for Christmas The Kouf un Furnltui&-u/--ý% Goller yý