Whitby Free Press, 30 Sep 1987, p. 5

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WHITBY FREE PRESS, WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 30.,1987, PAGE,5 Few people have the brains necessary for detective work. Reading accounts. of police work in Ontario, few police do either. But Lucas Letterpress, editor and prop of The Flat Tail, the best newspaper in ail of Beaver, Ont., does. This story relates how, late in life, he discovered his naturai powers of detection. He made the discovery late one afternoon, shortly af ter putting The Fiat Tail "to bed" as they say in the business. In a rare fit of memnory, Lucas remembers that the foilowing Sunday he is to attend his niece's fourth birth- day party. A present. What does one give a four-year-oid? Being enamored of stili pictures, and words, and having a mind not quite quick enough to foilow the moving pic- tures on television garne shows, Lucas is drawn- to Emery's, the bookstore on Pond St. He walks there, whistling. Ernery's sits on the edge of pond street like a pier haif washed away on Oak Lake. One corner of the front win- dow appears to sit lower than. the other, giving the store a forever lirnping look. The display windows, installed eighty years ago by the present owner's great- grandfather, contain samples of one-hundred and ninety books. Lucas knows, because once five years ago he had counted thern while waîting for Ernery to recover from a hangover and open the store. The books in the window, the windows, even Ernery himself, wear a patina of dust. Emery loves dusty volumes. A tiny bell tinkies, announcing Lucas' entry to the store. The long and narrow interior is lined on both sides by shelves. Lucas bypasses the Bibles, the Pierre Berton, and the Shirley McLaine. He goes straight to the children's section. There he picks up a nicely illustrated volume of children's nursery rhymes. He knows it is so, since one section of the children's books is clearly marked: Children's Nursery Rhymes. "That sign is a.tautological disaster," he says to Ernery, ail the while flipping throughthe pages of the volume. Emery is the only person in town who understan- ds the meaning of 'tautological'. WITH OUR FEET UP I)1b. Bill Swan Uncovering the facts "Not so, " says Emery. - I have in back a section of aduit nursery rhymes. Perhaps you would like to... " Lucas smirks, blushes mildly. " Not today, not today. What I arn looking for is a nice volume for my niece. . .says say! What's this? I've neyer noticed this before. " "Noticed what?" asks Ernery, a long, lanky man, six two or so, thin and angular, his hundred and fifty pounds distributed sparingly on a long skeleton. He has to bend double to look Lucas, five-two, in the eye. "Where did Little Boy Blue take a nap? " Lucas asks. "Why, under the hay stack, everybody knows that. " Lucas holds out the book, open to the page. "Could you show me," he says in his best brash journalist type voice, 4"6where it says that? Where does it say that Little Boy Blue feul asleep under the haystack? " Emery pulled his nose away frorn the page, haughtily. "I don't have to see it; I know that by heart. 'Little Boy Blue, corne blow your horn; the sheep's in the meadow, the cow's in the corn. And where's the littie boy who looks after..." "You beginning to get the picture?" "'Not exactly. So the kid fell asleep and the livestock strayed. What's the big deai? " "The big deai is that the kid got a bum rap ail these years. That's the difference between a book worm and a journalist, Emery. We journaiists notice things like that. You want me to take you through it step by step? " "If you promise to buy the book, yes. Otherwise, this will have been a wasted day. To say nothing of the conver- sa tion." Lucas burns hlm a look that makes the dust srnoulder. "See, it's this way. We have a disaster, right? The iivestock is ail over the place. The sheep are in the meadow. The cows are in the corn. Right?" "You're the detective. " "Okay. Now who was looking after these creatures?" Emery rubs a piece of sandpaper across his fingernails. (He can't afford emery board.) "I already told you. Little Boy Blue. And he biew the job. He failed. He should be whipped."' Lucas stretches to his full height. "The normai mistake. But we have no evidence for that. We do know that one boy is asieep undër the hay stack. .And we do'know that he's the one who is supposed to be iooking after the sheep." "Well. " Emery looks thoughtfui. "And," continued Lucas, "he rnay even be responsible for looking after the cows, too. But we have no evidence. The verse just doesn't tell us. "But it does tell us," Lucas says in triumph, "who is going to be cailed in to fix up the whoie mess. Little Boy Blue, that's who. " "You mean," says Emery, as he rings up the sale on the cash register, "that ail these years we've been thinking Little Boy Blue was the sieepy littie cuiprit, when ail along he's the hero? "You got it. This shouid make the lead story in our book section next week." Lucas pries loose some srnali bis and hands them to Emery. He wonders if his niece wili appreciate Little Boy Biue's heroics. "Next week," as the tiny bell tinkies his departure, "I'm going to work on the Cock Robin case." Region supports United Way goal set for the Oshawa-Whitby- Newcastle United Way under the chairmanship of Michael Starr this year. Kay pointed out that the United Way in this area supports 43 agencies, ail of whom are being pushed to the lim-! due to the growth surgence in Durhamn. With two weeks gone in the an- nual Oshawa-Whitby-Newcastle Unted Way charity drive, $413,679 has been collected. 15.9 per cent of the $2.6-rillion goal. There are four weeks remaining in the campaign. Regional councillors last week threw their support behind the 1987, Oshawa-Whitby-Newcastle United Way campaign. Superintendent John Kay of Durharn Regional Police told membersin an address to council that as head of the carnpaign for the Region's 2,000 employees, he hoped to raise $57,000 for the United Way this year. The sarne group, who set a target of $50,000 in 1986 surpassed this figure by bringing in $54,000. The efforts by regional em- ployees are part of the $2.6-million e e e e e P. S. If you've paid for a service plan to another company, we wiII honour that plan at no extra cost to you. Plus, we will insure your furnace and tank - free of charge. BLANKET GOVERAGE FREE ALL.PURPOSE BLANKET BONUS COMMEMORATING DIXON'S 85' TO DURHAM REGION. 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