WHITBY FREE PRESS, WEDNE.SDAY AUGUIJST 5, 1987. PAGE 5 The following is a survival guide for the provincial elec- tion currently engulfing us. Published for the first time anywhere, the "Aggressive Apathy" tactics outlined herein are guaranteed to prevent political contamination over the next five weeks. Let us be frank and admit that voting is our democratic right. We all intend to vote; come voting day, in fact, nothing could stop us from voting. Unless we forget. But that's another matter. During the campaign, politicians and their volunteer staffs will pour into our subdivisions and ring door bells and in general join other nuisances, such as paving com- pany salesmen. Here is how "Aggressive Apathy will deal with various parts of the campaign: The radio and TV hoopla? Pay it no mind. All that you hear is designed to pierce the collective consciousness of Ontario. Most voters are either too dumb or apathetic to name three political parties, let alone their leaders. Thus overkill is employed to somehow get a little attention. So all of that junk, forget. The news? By all means, drink it all in. But be a wiser shopper - comparison shop. Read about what all the par- ties are doing, not just one. Stupidity knows no party bounds, and intelligence is not a prerequisite to run for any party. Most party hacks - the ones who really run the campaigns - live in fear of the dumb things candidates will door say. The door-to-door campaign? Conventional wisdom - which is neither conventional nor wise - has it that these people are out to persuade you to vote for their party. This is patent nonsense. What this army of people - and this béing August it will be a small platoon - aims to do is iden- tify the vote. The apathy guide to an election On election day, that information is used to spread resources to "pull the vote" - that is, get the people who favor your party out to vote. It makes no sense, naturally, to give rides to the polls to those who are going to vote for the opposition. Knowing that can be your salvation, sanity-wise. "Good evening. I'm here on your very own door step on behalf of Hybrid Nonsense, your Everyparty candidate. Mr. Nonsense certainly would appreciate your support on election day, Sept. 10. Could he count on you?" At this point most people mumble, accept the brochure and close the door, thinking they have escaped. But aha1 That sign on the lawn for Otherparty gives them away. A much better ploy lies in welcoming all comers. "Well, that's for sure. But first I have a couple of questions I would like to ask you. Would you care to step inside and have a cup of tea or a beer cooler to drink? That way we can discuss this politics of this election so I can be sure of my vote." You will never see canvassers flee faster. The whole concept of "Aggressive Apathy" can be built on this. When politicians approach you, they have the up- per hand. So you* approach them. Ask about policies. Pretend interest. Ask why they should get your vote. Best of all, visit the campaign headquarters of each candidate. Ask pointed questions. Ask how the campaign is being run. Ask why you should vote for that candidate. Ask about abortion, or capital punishment or about illegal immigrants. None of these are provincial issues, and you know that, and some politicians do too. But these topics are so highly charged you'll make 'em nervous just by asking. As a finale, tell the workers at headquarters you've seen the light. Volunteer to canvass a neighborhood. Offer to "person" the phones for a few evenings. Call in daily with progress reports and tie up the phone lines and the real party workers for long periods of time. And naturally, don't follow up on anything. Give each party the same list of confirmed votes. Phone in phoney sign locations. Order pizza for each party headquarters, and charge it to the opposition. You'll learn a lot about political parties. And at least, you'tl kecp them off your back for a few days. It sure beats sitting at home and waiting. Campaign begins for Durham Centre candidates FROM PAGE 1 Monday, has also identified education as a problem as well as transportation "political in- tegrity," environment and the economy. "I will be out canvassing every day now," says Ball, who wasn't expecting a Friday announcement of an upcoming election but says she and her team are "ready." Ball will soon open a second campaign office at the corner of Garrard Rd. and Dundas St. E. The NDP campaign office is located at the Windmill Dundas Donut Shop at 1013 Dundas St. E. Furlong says an issue that is really of federal domain - East In- dian immigration in Canada - has been the most popular issue discussed by residents when he visits homes. However, he said "provincial suasion" could be ap- plied to make local views known on the matter. Furlong also wants completion of a permanent land registry office before 1991, the date apparently suggested by the Province for a new facility, proposed for Rossland Rd. in Whitby, to relieve over- crowding at the existing location on Centre St. in Whitby. A temporary location in Oshawa has been plan- ned until the work is complete. "I would work to get it done im- mediately," says Furlong, who ad- ds he wants the office to remain in Whitby as it is the "countrytown." -He says that he, too, didn't expect a Friday announcement of the elec- tion date and would have preferred a date in June. "But we all work better under pressure," he says of the Sept. 10 date. Ball says she looks forward to the election because "we've got a great new riding and it's exciting to be part of a branch new venture." She told supporters Monday that she was "fed up" with problems in the riding such as transportation, education and the environment. The Oshawa lawyer was described by Grossman as "our secret weapon in this riding. But maybe not so secret." An all-candidates meeting has Stewart leaves local YMCA FROM PAGE 3 volunteers allow programs to "carry through." Day care and day camps will con- tinue to be the two biggest areas of the Durham YMCA, Stewart feels, as his departure comes at the beginning of the YMCA's third five- year work vlan. And while Durham does not yet have its own facility, "It will come," he predicts. Meanwhile his successor will soon be announced. Stewart will be head of the YMCA in Belleville, where he will again consider the future development of programs and the addition of more quality services - not too unlike his work in Durham. not yet been planned but Ball and Furlong say they welcome an ex- change while Stewart says Kelly, too, awaits word on such a meeting. Stewart says the NDP has con- cerns that Whitby could become the terminus for GO Transit. "We want a firm commitment on whether Oshawa will be the main teriru evntu9 ly," he says. He also says Kelly is urging a more "activist approach" to provide affordable housing in the riding. 3oft-ware /n<froaces LASSICj9J AccuntngSystem EýACCOUNTS RECEIVABLE EACCOUNTS PAYABLE [9 DIRECT INVOICING G'GENERAL LEDGER [2'INVENTORY eCANADIAN PAYROLL Classic Software has introduced a complete accounting system called the CLASSIC '100'. Some of the features of the system include: File sizes limited by disk capacity only. Context Sensitive help Commands. Automatic Set-up of the General Ledger. Multiple Companies can be processed. Prints T4s /TP4s/Cheques /Invoices /Statem ents. Can upgrade to '200' Accounting. 1oe Suggested List Price STAN CLAYTON BOOKKEEPING 214 Dundas St. E., P.O. Box 151, Whitby, Ont. LN 2H8 (416) 666;2444 THE CORPORATION OF THETOWNOFWHITBY ADULT SCHOOL CROSSING GUARDS Applications are now being accepted by the Town of Whitby for the positions of Adult School Crossing Guard on:. 1. ANDERSON STREET at MANNING ROAD 2. MANNING ROAD at RIBBLESDALE DRIVE Employment to commence on September 8, 1987. Applications are to be received no later than Friday, August 14, 1987, and addressed to: - Mr. WM. H. Wallace, Administrator, Corp. of the Town of Whitby. 575 Rossland Road East, Whitby, Ontario. L1N 2M8 L--ý amour clasgle