PAGE 6, WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 23, 1974, WHITBY FREE PRESS BIRD'OS EYE VIEW -JIM MUAIL Disaster with Complete Instructions . . . By any chance last weekend were you approached at the breakfast table Saturday morning by a woman commonly known as, 'the little wifey'? And as you were having a double helping of Captain Crunch at the request of the kids who were after the prize in the box did that same woman suggest to you the garage was a mess and the best way to solve the problem was to whip out and buy one of the garden sheds that were on sale. And she probably further suggested that since you were so smart and manly that putting it together would be no problem at all for you. Welcome to the club! You, my friend have been had. You may not be putting your masculinity on the line by assembling a do-it-yourself garden shed, unless of course you fall off the ladder, but you sure as heck are putting your sanity in grave jeopardy. But, if you're reading ths after the purchase of the shed it's almost too late now anyway to give you any valuable help -·only sympathy. So, for the rest of you unsuspecting men - stay tuned as I reveal the true facts about do-it-yourself garden sheds. Oh, I would take notes if I were you because t might ask questions later. My first bit of advice is to drag all the boxes containing the garden shed out of the garage and drive over them several times in the dark of night with the car and then phone the store in the morning and tell the clerk the de- livery men must have dropped the goods while trying to struggle them to your place. That is a very real possibility since a couple of the boxes weigh more than a hundred pounds but there's always the chance the store will just deliver another shed. If- you're absolutely committed to putting the fool thing up the first thing to do is to get out the instructions. Search around until you find a language that is familiar and start reading. The instruction book says - and I quote - "Get a friendly neighbour to help you". Do not rnisinter- pret this to mean that you should enlist the aid of the built-like-a-you-know-what widow down the block or the sexy divorcee two blocks up because the little wifey may have a few words to say about that. Toronto's Lord Sincoe Hotel traditional hospitality in the heart of downtown , Fromthe moment our doorman says welcome, you will enjoy the Lord Simcoe's conviviality and warmth . .. in the Sentry Box Lounge, with its colourful atmosphere . . . at the Crossroads, a self service restaurant where people meet for conversation, snacks or a full course meal .. . the Beau Nash, an intimate gathering place for lunch, or for "after five" refreshments . . . the famous Captain's Table, with its nautical setting, and a menu brimming with new taste adventures. It's all at the Lord Simcoe, close to everything in the heart of downtown. You'll enjoy Toronto more and have more left to spend on other things. Free overnight parking 6:00 p.m. to 8:30 a.m. See your travel agent or contact us at: 150 King Street West, Toronto. Telephone: 362-1,848. Operated by Berkeley International Hotels Ltd. I. r Mý We'll Now Be OPEN Thursday & Fridays 'til 9 p.m. (Good Range of Coats, Carcoats) etc. arter 7 ilt~ laf ý%t rtt Bond Towers Shopping Mall, 44 ?Ltb Bond St. W. 576-7152.- Downtown Oshowo Brooklin Bylines I have to admit that all that hockey means to me, is that I have no choice in the T.V. programmes on Wednesday and Saturday evenings, for awareness of the sport. But tho' Peter Puck seemed to be my salvation I'm afraid that I was a drop-out. Of amateur hockey I know even less, but there are it seems, a great number of you that are more than interested - you are involved. At least that is the impres- sion I've received from the content of the calls that I've received this week. For either a number of you got to- gether and arranged to call me at various times with similar queries (a very good strategy to focus attention on a pub'ic' problem) or it was mere coincidence inspired by your similar interest and involvement. At any rate I have some answers for you. For those of you not involved in the amateur hockey situation Il explain that many parents wanted to know why the cost of registration is as high as it is. For to register a child in the Home Team now cost $35, and if he is talented enough to enter the All Stars it costs $60 - and of course on top of this you have the necessary expense of kitting the child. This really hits hard if you have more Look for a neighbour who is an engineer and strong to boot. You'll need an engineer just to be able to interpret the instructions and you'Il need a strong helper who can bend steel with his bare hands for those small adjustments and who is able to leap tall buildings for when you have to install the weather vane. Now that you have the neighbour enlisted and boozed up so he'll be a willing worker check the next point on the instructions which says - and again i quote - "Here are the tools you will need". They show only a Robertson screw- driver No. 2 and a pair of pliers. That is the best comedy line since Custer said, "Gosh fellas, I think some Indians are corning!" File those instructions in the back of your mind with other assorted and useless trivia and round up following tools; a two pound sledge hammer for friendly persuasion when making small adjustments as you careful- ly fit the pieces together, two sticks of dynamite to help settle the shed in place after it's constructed, three sizes of assorted chisels and a large punch for making holes where the manufacturer forgot to put them in, a couple of pairs of vise-grips, some assorted size wrenches and a half. dozen screwdrivers, a heavy pair of leather gloves to pro- tect your hands when you have to screw-in 10,000 screws and the last but most important item is a case of booze to give you the patience to get the job finished. The next thing the instructions say is to select the site. Care should be exercised so as to not build the shed on quicksand, your neighbours garden or right on top of the spot where your dog likes to leave his daily 'jewels'. It also wouldn't hurt to chekc with city hall to make sure they aren't going to build a freeway or a sewer line where you are thinking of putting your shed. lHaving decided all this go to the next point on the in- structions which say, "Read the instructions through first!" Who are they kidding? These guys nust be enlisting pati- ents for the psychiatrie hospital or sonething. I definitely advise against reading through the instructions because it will not only confuse you but more importantly it will spoil the element of surprise when you look at the final product you have built and compare it to the picture on the back page showing how the product should look when assembled. If, by now, you are still in favour of' building the shed then break down and buy a paper next week when we will continue with Part Two which is - "HIow I learned to live with failure" or "You are the shed of my life!". For the Service Of Our Customers talented ladies of the U.C.W. Might be the opportunity to pick up something to save you cooking before you go on to the next event which is the Legion Hallow'een Dance start- ing at 9 p.n. and finishing at the spooky hour of 1 a.m. It'll be held at the Legion Hall on Baldwin Street, Brooklin and will have music supplied by a disc-jockey, spot dances and a bar. Tickets are $3 a couple, whether you come in disguise or not.....but wtiat a great opportunity to let the imagination run riot for an evening. And I wonder what costume will steal the show and be the talk of the town for the next week or so? Well I guess that it is time to sign off once again. Keep the phone ringing -. 655-3750 is the number to call and the -password is 'Bylines'. Enjoy yourselves over the weekend. LIZ M MMIL- -- - - - than one boy who wants to play hockey. Unfortunately you have to put it down to that over worked word - INFLATION. (And tho' other areas seem to be able to charge less, you will probably find that the rates in Ajax, Pickering and Oshawa area in the same range as Whitby.) The same reason applies to the charge of $35 for use of Whitney Hall at Iroquois Park Arena - even when used by non-profit making community groups. And again, the same goes for the price of a seat in the Arena, which one lady thought was too high especially when more than one member of a family wanted to go and watch a game. The cost of running an Arena are high and like every- thing else seem to be getting higher. We've all felt the pinch in running our own homes, hydro and heating take a great deal of money. Maintenance and cleaning in the Arena also have to be paid for.....every packet and paper you throw on the floor has to be picked up and someone has to be paid to do so. Gone are the days when you could get somé generous soul who would do these jobs just for the love of the community; gone are the days when a tal- ented person would share his talent for the simple joy of it. Time and talent cost money. Who's to pay for it? But, I can hear you say, we are paying for it - in our taxes. Sure you are. But taxes have to supply other amenities not recreation - and money as you well know is not elastic, it won't cover everything. So when we get a desired facility, it has to be able to support itself or you have to brace yourself for another increase in your taxes. And the latter would mean that even those who never wanted, or will nev- er use that facility also have to pay. Is that fair? I guess that the whole thing boils down to the saying "nothing is free". And if you are really keen and want something you have to be prepared to pay for it. We are so used to those magical words.....grants, subsidies and government aid.....that we feel that public money is like 'manna from heaven' - it just comes out of the air. But it doesn't and don't you forget it.....it's your hard earned cash. So keep up the queries and that way we'll keep the public servants on their toes and à nswerable to their. employers, you, me and all taxpayers and voters. And if you are not happy with the way they spend your money you have the answer.....vote 'em out! The next elections are in '76 by the way. So, you have two years in which to decide. I'd like to see the Recreation Department remember that there is a community in the North Ward. All their Fall/Winter programmes, save a preschool and mothers skating session, take place down in Whîtby. Perhaps there is no demand for them up here, but I'd at least like to see them offer them if the demand is there to make them pay. Now I read that the Department is opening a Hockey School for the under twelves to be held at Iroquois Arena, every Wednesday from 3:50 to 4:50 p.m. I guess that even the boys down in Whitby are going to have to move to get there in time, so I'm not so sure about any interested boys in Ashb.urn. But I also heard that they will consider a similar programme here if you want it. So if you do let them know. Last word on hockey. And here's where you show your true colors The Brooklin/Whitby Minor Hockey League need helpers (NOT PAID!). There are 860 boys - your sons - registered so far. But unfortunately it seems that some parents feel that putting out the noney is as far as they need to be involved. Which means that the task of raising funds etc. falls on a group of 6 - 10 mothers. The meetings are only held once a month.....last month they couldn't hold their elections as there weren't enough present So how about it.....can YOU spare some extra time for son's sake? For those that prefer water tu ice. The Y.M.C.A. are wondering if you realise that, even tho' they aren't using the Oshawa pools this year that they are still bussing child- ren from the Brooklin area over to the pool in Ajax for swimnming lessons. Call the 'Y' at 668-6868 for further details. Also from the 'Y'. Are you interested in-making your own Christmas decorations? If so they are offering an eight week course at the United Church Hall in Brooklin on Tuesday eveni-gs from 7:30 te 9 p.m. Materials are supplied in the fee se you don't have te go traipsing dowvntown te find them. Call the 'Y' for atny other details. A hectic wecekend is ahead fer many people in this area, and I hope that all their efforts arc geing te be rewarded by large turnouts. The Legion Ladies Aux. are busy again for thîe second weekend ini a row - where de they get the energy! They are sponsoritng the Secontd Antique Show at the Community Centre on Cassels Road East, Brooklin. A dmission is S$t.00 and there'll be free parking and refresh- ments available. You have the choice cf attenîding either Friday evening, 25th October, betweenî 7 and 10 p.mn., or Saturday 26th October, between 10 a.m. and 4 p.m. Which ever day yen decide on you'il be sure of having an etnjoyable time. Saturday at 5 p.mî. (yeu ceuld ge straight from one event te the other) secs the start of the Auction Sale at St. Thomas's Chu rch on Winchester. Again refreshments are available (this could be the cooks day off!) and there is aise a Bake Table with goodies for sale supplied by the