PAGE 6, TFIURSDAY, APRÎIt, 1973, WliITB1Y IRII' >RUSS BIRD 'S EVE view by Jium Quail IT'S MADNESS! They've sîarted already and the snow lias harely guuie. Personally 1 thuîîk even if we had snow up lu home some uf thern would be ouf thene anyway. You knuw, golfers. There are a few things 1 don't uîîderstaîîd about sailing, but about golfing 1 doîî't understaîid anything! So, what's the big deal anyway? Dues everybody do if jusi fo get ouf of the house or is there soîîe deep Freudiati explanatiori. I -have carefully watclîed these individuals called golfers and hcre is a rundown of whaf I've seen. As tlie Wintcr ebbs away the golfer gues tu the closef and gels ouf bis golf bag and emoves ah flic clubs and balîs. *He sits there as the last of flic snow flics . -1 with a'ar away look in lis cyes lie softly polîshes fthe clubs lu a shiny hue. I assume tlic shinier they are the less flic wind frictiun as flic club goes flirougli the air. Golf balîs are checked over and some wcatlier womîî unes are discardcd fur new ones and the rest are îouiclied rip tu look whiter than white. Some golfers eveni have their naines on their golf balîs su when they hit anoîher golfer on flic head lie can look aI flic baîl and knuw whîuhi liilîiin. Anyway cventually that first golden Sunday coinos and with a flurry of excitememif the golfer tears away Ironi bis hiappy lione and wife and kids. A quick tour to pick tmp a couple of the boys and off tlicy gu. The next peak of excifemnent for the gulfor appoars tu occur in the parking lut af flic golf club. 1 have s000 car loads of golfers pull up and upeni flic trtînks of their cars and îlîey secon to gel vcry agitated amouiîd tlie trumik with mucbi îîanlîamdling before the clubs soeiîî lu mappeoar out of flic trunk. 1 hiave seen flic uccasional bumnpem kickimg and I suspect autuonobile trunks have a particuilar appetito for golf clubs althuugh 1 have mevor fod tboîn fo iny owmi car tmunk. Amother thing 1 don,'f understand is why golfers buy bags with rutton bottoîns. They niust be rotten because nîusf gullers hiave a little cart like thing under the bags to stop flic cluîbs fiomi falling out flic bot tom. Thcn thcy lhave whiecls un the littlo carts becaube they're fou hicavy to carry. Tecing off 'seins f0 bc aniother guod spot wif h sonie amouu i of' coin flipping and the golf' bail washer gels a real guing over on flic firsi liole. As for the little wooden T-thing 1 don't know, but 1 have -seen a fow of them go l'artdier flian tlic bail which sat un top of if. And as l'or divifs, whcrcvcr that naine carne froni, I think wc can assumne that miost of flic lying saucer -sighitings were mnade iin tie near vicinity of a golf course. The rockcts seeni coming ouf uf' the saucers-they werc prubably t hose litfle woudcni T things. And the sign says, "Replace the divits". Froin whatl 'vc SCCi fl t mosf golfers they would be better off' to play the divit and replace flic bail. Could stant a wholc îîew business of rnonogramnied divits. The îîcxf thîing I don't understand about golf is whether if is a gaine or a type of sport. If a golfer wants to kilI birds why doesn'f lic use a gun'? I hink if would be miucli casier flian carefully figuring out trajeccory, wiîîd veloùcity weiglit of flic baIl and proxirîiy f0 flic I 9th liole and tlien affer miucli visual siglîling and practice swings sniacking flhc bail info a gruve uof trees. l'd say the chances of lîuîting a bird are prctty siîn. Especially a Quiail, îlîcy dun't even go near golf' courses, excepf miyninotlier and l'il lhave a talk witlî ler. Anyway this is part ufth te gaine as 1I have ubservcd it and 1 caîî'f make head rior tails of if. Soîne teol c it's a relaxîng gaine but f'roni what l've scen some golfers could chew nails after a 'lîealthy' session of the links. And what the hceck is a linik?? Next week we'll look ai. sone more of flic peculiarities ut' this pastime. Library Presents "»The Circus" "The Circus" is the ilieme for tlhc story hours in May af flic Whitby Public Library. Circus stories will ho read throughout thec innli .iid on Mlay 61h the ch ildreni will be nîakiiîg circus aiials tu bc placcd under the big top. a mural 'or Olîr bulletin hurd. Oni May 1 2, stories appro- priato for Motlîer's Day mill bc read, and thc chiidren will niiako s.pocial liolidays cards to take home. Back ru the circtis theie tlor May 19 wvben tlhc craft xvilii b cottoii bail circus clowns. On our filin Satur' day. Mlay 26. "Tlhe Golden Fisl" and ilirce othiei short l'lilis will be shlown. THE WHITBY FREE PRESS (VOICE 0F THE COUNTY TOWN) * Hometown paper of Whitby, Brookiin, Myrtie and Ashburn; serving Ajax and Pickering. Published every Thursday Published by Whitby Free Press Inc., Bruno Hariliaid, President. Published by Whitby Free Press Inc. 212 Brock Street South, Whitby Mail Box 206, Whitby. Phone 668-6111l or 668-611 2 Editor: Assistant Editor: Jim Quail MAILING Sports Editor: Doug Weaies PERMIT Advertising: Ron Winstanley NO. 2941 Phoito Editor: Mike Burgess NO MYSTERY TO GROWUNG PERFECT LAWN ACCORDING TO JOHN BRADSHAW'S LAWN AND GARDEN GUIDE There's nu mystery .tu gruwing a perfect lawn according to John Bradshaw's Lwn and Gardon Guide. 'Mr. Brudshaw is une of Canada's leading horticulturalists and is well known through i Îs radio and television pro- grains. He prepared the easy to understand guide for Caniadian Industries Limited and if is available froc fromn CIL lawn and gardon product dealers. Herc's the programi Mr. Bradshaw uses as outlined in his own words in tho guide. "There's nuornystery tu growing a perfect lùwn. You just get rid of' woeds and insect posts and feed your lawîî gener- ously tu establish a thick hecalthy turf. How du you do this? lt's quito easy. FolIuw my stol, by stop 'Perfect Lawn Pro- grain' and yuu cain tbm a iediocre or average lawn into a beautiful living carpet. 'YOu I o1Lsi foed oarly. I food nîly lawn jusi after the snow ncl is and whon the gruund is firni. "Why? Sil cannut roloaso existing f'ood tu the grass until eamly May. when the soul gels warni eouugh. Resuit? Tho lawn slowl sita rv es. "But 'GuI fgroon ' clin start foodîng your lawn ais soon as the souf siarts lu îlmaw. By feeding early yuu tako a groat firsi stop) îuwards your porfoci lawn. -Gently rako away (hlieli:itch of' baves and debris. Use a spring-iuothed rako. 'Apply (CIL 'Golfgreen' it20 lb.! 1000 sq. fi. "I i ino essary le va fr afrter iblis spring application of Glren. "ONTARIO COUNTY'S FAMILY SHOW" 9th Annual Home Show DO ORS- OPEN DAIL Y 1:000 p.m. to 1 C30 p.mj APRIL 27th, 28th & 29th FRIDA Y, SATURDAY, SUNDAY UNCLE BOBBY ADMISSION - $1 .00 CtHILDREN - 504t if under 12 and accompanied by- ancidult - FREE ' KsnJon's Pstting Zoo DONN & CINDY AT THE OSHAWA' CIVIC AUDITORIUM THORTNTON ROAD SOUTH ADVENTURE TOURS A DIVISION 0F AKARD ENTERPRISES LIMITED See you on the w..kend et f THE OS'HAWAHOME SO