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6 uw oS Zz = Ss = day, May 11, 2023 | DO A LOT LESS DIRECTING AND A LOT MORE LISTENING ¢ AND QUESTIONING, SAYS GRAHAM HOOKEY For much of the time I was actively parenting my three children, I viewed my role somewhat like a sculp- ior. There I was with mal- leable young hearts and minds before me, all just waiting to take on the shape and values I would confer upon them. Honestly, I took that role pretty seriously for the longest time, only to come to the realization at some ready and w ontinue to develop. ‘much oft their “fi- " regardless of what I said or did. GRAHAM HOOKEY Column In fact, I'd go as far as to say that the biggest role I played was to create the sculpting environment in which they would take shape, both naturally and under influence of many, many sculptors who would pass through their circles. That's not to say that the sculpting attempts of par- ents aren't both influential and important, because they absolutely are. Still, they are only one part of the final outcome and it is very important that, at some point, we get to the stage of what I like to term, “acceptance parent- ing," where we worry much ACCEPTANCE PARENTING less about whether our children are meeting OUR objectives and much more about whether they are finding THEIR way in the world. Are they recognizing THEIR strengths, THEIR THEM satisfaction and ful- filment? We have likely all expe- rienced that feeling of wanting to please our par- choices based 0 ‘ink o1 ur parents would feel about them. Let's face it, our parents u) and most influential teachers, but what worked for them and their personalities, in the era in which they grew up, did not necessarily translate directly to us. What makes us think what we want for our chil will prove to be any nee successful? Acceptance parenting suggests we do a lot less di- recting and, instead, do a lot more listening and questioning. The sculpting environ- ment we create for them has to bea safe place, some- where where they can let own their hair and public cone and genuinely ex- plore who they are and what is most meaningful to them. ther than having them think they must please us, we want them to understand they can trust us and that whatever direc- tions they make we will have their backs. Irefer here, of course, to things like social activities, educational interes ca- choices, iiesty le choices tae yes, relation- ship choi Tam not, ‘however, sug- gesting we offer no guid- ance in ethics, morals or choices around life-alter- ing issues like drug use or unhealthy living practic- es. Accepting our children as unique and valued indi- viduals does not require us to accept some of the beha- TO LEARN HOW TO SUBMIT YOUR OWN CONTENT VISIT WATERLOOCHRONICLE.CA viours which might lead to unintended consequences on their part. But even if they make bad choices, to what extent we can, we must ity sna have their back, perhaps ing them to find the an they need. In hindsight, I would have absolutely done some things differently as a par- ent; but what parent doesn't feel that way? I think the one thing I go right, in the end, was oo take a few steps back and simply let them explore in late adolescence and early adulthood. Their travels, their edu- cational experiences, their friends and their curiosity led them to places and in- sights I could not have This newspaper, published every Thursday, is a division ofthe Metroland Media Group Ltd., a wholly-owned subsidiary of Torstar Corporation. The Metroland family of newspapers is comprised of more than 70 community publications across Ontario. This newspaper is a member of the National NewsMedia Council. Complainants a wri Council Suite 20), to Nanae St, ronto, Phone: A16- 3A! 981 Web: www.mediacouncil.ca nne | Aocna “Saat | Canada editorial@waterloochronicle.ca facebook.com/waterloochronicle @uichronicle They re , of course, works in progress, but long WHO WE ARE ago they took over the | Ghiet Executive Officer sculpting process and left Neil Oliver me to accept, and admire, | Vice President, Content, their artistic work. Community and Operations Dana Robbins. Graham Hookey is the Director of Content author of " “Parenting IsA Regen Cyl Moe Pear Spor da and can be Nelson Parreira hoo.com. AN INSPIRING JOURNEY FROM LOSS TO MENTAL HEALTH ADVOCACY People are storytellers at heart. Stories connect us emotionally, inspire us, and remind us that we are notalone. Stories also com- pel us to take action. Sto- ries are used in every cul- a powerful part ‘of our history and her- itage. Sharing stories allows us to learn more about our- selves and others. lay 1 to 7 was Mental Health Week across Cana- da. The theme this year is My Story. It's about invit- ing people to share their own story. When you think about the past few years, and how 8 we have weathered the 3 pandemic, we sto- 5 ries about how we have § been Sere and What we did to get thro § Stories about our ‘elle. 3 HELEN FISHBURN Column tive suffering inspired peo- ple to be more empathetic and compassionate, and al- so to innovate This our local storytellers. One of our most impactful and courageous local storytell- ers is Noah Irvine. Noah is an exceptional young man. He has written a book "Le: To Li which is deeply persona, moving and inspiring. his book, Noah coura- geously shares the heart- break that he experienced early in his life from losing both of his parents, Lesley and Kent, to mental health ands addiction. oah has channeled his doveetatine losses into pas- sionate advocacy. He has become a tireless advocate for mental health and a dictions care both in nis a ome community of Guelph, and all across Cana has written hun- areds of letters to provin- cial and federal elected of- ficials, and has met with and advocate for better owe has also met with many community leaders, health-service providers, clubs, school CMHA National and CMHA Ontario, to evoke change. He is tireless in his efforts! Here is his story: Having lost so much by the age of 15 it is my pro- found belief that we have to do better. It is crucial to ad- vance this issue forward. At the age of 15, I visited more cemeteries and went to more funerals than weddings. I have experienced a complex and unique childhood. In spite of this, Irecognize that suffering ... In the wake of a devas- tating global pandemic, where so many more peo- pleare suffering from men- tal health and addiction challenges, Noah's story and his advocacy efforts have been a light in the darkness. He has truly in- spired me, and so many, with his tenacity and resil- ience. hat's your story? Use the hashtag #MyStory and every gove to play in the health and wellness of this federation. Advancing the discussion around mental health and the solutions to this crisis are not solely the responsi- bility of the government. The solution rests in the hands of all those touched by this crisis, to speak out and advocate for all those who have suffered and are st can continue to shine a light on the power of the human story that feeds our hope, connection and cour- age. It's what binds us all to- gether. Helen Fishburn is the CEO of the Canadian Men- tal Health Association Waterloo Wellington. Jan Bodanka, Matt Miller, Lisa Humphreys, Cassandra Dellow Managing Editor Robyn Wilkinson ‘Online Editor Loraine Centeno Ned Bekavac Reporter Bill Jackson Director Creative Servi Paul Gostlin CONTACT US faterloo Chronicle 219 Labrador Dr. Suite 203, Web: www.waterloochronicle.ca Letters to the editor All letters must be fewer than 320 words and include your name and telephone number for verification purposes. We reserve the right to er condense or reject letters. ed letters will appear in print and/or online at waterloochronicle.ca Delivery For all delivery inquiries, e-mail customerservice@metroland.com or call 519-894-3000. Accrédité Accredited.