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° - OPINION , January 12, 2023 g ANONYMITY ON THE 2 INTERNET A PRIMARY q REASON IT HAS # BECOME A 3 CESSPOOL OF J HATRED AND VITRIOL, WRITES DREW EDWARDS Hi, my name is Drew Ed- rds. On Facebook, my name is Drew Edwards. On Insta- - ed. Im @scratchingpost but only because I once had a blog by the same name and the bio is very clearly me. I have a website at drewed- ‘ds.ca (perpetually un- der construction) and my email address is drew@drewedwards,ca. DREW EDWARDS: Column Given all that Dre iti is entirely possible that 1 pentent narcissist and that 'S Probably somethingI to a therapist Sone ‘auothoe opportuni- ty to talk about me, yay!). But there is actually anoth- or Tess megalomaniacal lonymity on the internet is is one of the pri- mary reasons it has be- come a cesspool of hatred and vitriol. I put my email address at the bottom of every col- umn because it makes me accountable for every word I write. The vast majority of feedback I receive is gen- uinely supportive and kind, and those folks usual- ly sign their names or are easily identifiable by their email addresses. But every now and again, I'll get a nasty-a-gram and itis inev- itably from some troll too cowardly to sign their mertwitteris the worst. The number of ridiculous clowns spouting awfulness from behind the cloak of anonymity is truly appall- ing. Women, people of col- our and those from other marginalized groups get it the worst of course and it makes me sick to my stom- ach to see some of what my transgendered son has to put up with on social me- dia. There's a reason I nev- er use my kids' actual names in these columns. -CUTTING BACK ON SOCIAL MEDIA USE It makes me angry that Facebook, Twitter and the rest simply wash their col- pustaplatiorm’ and there- sponsible for thelr content i is a loophole they've allowed a_hate- filled truck to be driven through. Make social ion dia companies accountal for the content conan by their users and watch how fast the conspiracy theorists, hate mongers and faceless trolls get the wen yes, newspapers and other legacy media use anonymous sources. But there are typically guide- lines under which this can be done and the newsroom debates around their use can be fierce. And even a piece that includes an anonymous source is sub- TO LEARN HOW TO SUBMIT YOUR OWN CONTENT VISIT WATERLOOCHRONICLE.CA ject to the same standards and libel laws as any other piece: it's hot a licence to say I've cut back on my so- cial media use in recent months. While I still enjoy Twitter, I realized that all the doom scrolling wasn't doing much for my state of mind. Facebook had be- come a stand-in for actual- ly staying in touch with people I care about: I now try and make the effort to text or email or - gasp-even. call or visit. And I'll keep writing this navel-gazing column for as long as they'll allow me. I hope that people see their own lives and experi- ences reflected from time to time or, at the very jeast, enjoy a little chuckle a: they go about their ‘ay. And if you sont like it, that's OK too... where to find an Drew Edwards of Guelph can actually be reached at drew@drewed- rds.ca. BECOMING A BETTER PARENT THE MOST EFFECTIVE WAY TO MAINTAIN COMMUNICATIONS IS TO JUST LISTEN, SAYS GRAHAM HOOKEY The new year is like a minefield ofrisk. How easy it is e resolutions and how easy it is to forget them shortly after they are mat de. Still, if you're truly try- ing to make an improve- ment in your life or, in the case of this parenting col- umn, in the lives of your children, it's important to make some and at least try your best to keep them for as long as possible. You never know when the out- g comes of your efforts, or 3 £ simply the habituation of a 6 new routine, will stick and Buin & will Lnelp t to make a desired 2 Many FoF us, as parents, ES ry GRAHAM HOOKEY Column are well aware of the im- pact our actions have on ur children and equally aware of our occasional failings on that front. It is not uncommon for parents, particularly at this time of the year and as part of their new year's resolutions, to consider ways in which they can become better, more effective parents. Let me offer just a few sugges- tions to consider. Talk less and listen more. We are prone to offer advice, some might even call it directions, on what ur children should be do- ing some of the time, much of the time or all of th time. We consider it part of in how we wish them to do that. We call it advice, but our children callit nagging or cont trolling. our children ab- solutely do need our guid- ce and advice at times, they do not need it all the time and, in fact, need the independence of dealing with the consequences of their own decisions occa- sionally to de velop better decision-making skill: all about deciding Which battles we wish to fight, and I'm going to suggest that there are many bat- small things, that are Snot t worth fighting. I assure you, the most effective way to main- tain communications with your pre-teens and teens is to just listen, with no judg- ment, criticism or direc- ‘ives. Be present. We often be- lieve we are more present than we actually are. This is not about being in the same house; it's about be- ing focused and attentive, putting away our devices, shutting off our TVs, and spending time in real and uninterrupted conversa- ‘ion. Ihave a bias towards a family dinner gach p might with no devi e of Focused attention that ev- eryone is aware of and for which everyone can pre- pare if somet ig impor- tant needs to be discussed. My second bias is towards riorities. to be absolutely attentive most of the time, but, when they do, they need it imme- diately and they will mea- priority list by how you re- spond when they ask for your time. Generate jaushter. Do gether that everyone Sieve go places you haven't been before; ‘ames and sports to- gether; tell bad jokes and act silly at times. There are plenty of times we have to be serious, but there are al- so times when laughter is precisely what a family needs to do together. You create lasting memories with the actions that gener- ate positive feelings and, quite frankly, you h heal the wounds of general lite with shared laughter. This can be a lot harder during the sullen pre-teen years, when parents are completely uncool and geekish, but that isthe very fme when they need it the most. Make uncool and geekish your siren song and celebrate it with them. Evenas they roll their eyes, they will appreciate your effort to keep things light and be a happy influence in their life at that point. Graham Hookey is the author of "Parenting Is A Team Sport" and can be reached at ghookey@ya- .com. Tis a ee published lay, is a division ofthe Metroland Media Group Ltd., a wholly-owned subsidiary of Torstar Corporation. The Metroland family of newspapers is comprised of more than 70 community publications across Ontario. This newspaper is a member of the National NewsMedia Council. Complainants are urged to bring their concems write The National NewsMedia Council, Suite 200, 890 Yonge St., IN M4W 2H2. Phone: 416-340-1981 Web: www.mediacouncil.ca nn¢e Aocna Nesektaiacounet editorial@waterloochronicle.ca Pcie ican waterlonchronicte @wichrot WHO WE ARE Publisher and Chief Exccutive Officer Community and Operations Dana Robbins Director of Content Lee Ann Waterman Regional General Manager Nelson Parreira Regional Director of Media Heather Dunbar Advertising Representatives Fran Hendry, Katrina Anderson, Jan Bodanka, Matt Miller, lumphreys, Cassandra Dellow, Zaid Shahabuddn, Managing Editor Robyn Wilkinson ‘Online Editor Loraine Centeno lews Editor Ned Bekavac Reporter Bill Jackson Director Creative Services Paul Gostlin Waterloo Chronicle 219 Labrador Dr. Suite 203, Waterloo, on N2K on Phone: 519- Web: www. watefonchonil.ca Letters to the editor Allletters must be fewer than 320 words and include your name and telephone number for verification print and/or online at waterloochronicle.ca Delivery For all delivery inquiries, e-mail sustomerservice@metroland.com or call 519-894-3000. 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