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5 | W aterloo C hronicle | T hursday,N ovem ber 19,2020 w aterloochronicle.ca Certified Lyric provider • www.auburnmountainhearing.com • 550 Fennell Ave. E. Unit 16 B, Hamilton 289-768-6167 • 723 Rymal Rd.W. Unit 500 , Hamilton 289-768-8971 • 570 University Ave. E. Unit 905,Waterloo 888-907-1436 • 350 Conestoga Blvd. Unit B3, Cambridge 888-737-9976 • 168 Barton St.Unit 3, Stoney Creek 289-203-3256 • 1144Wilson St.W. Unit D203,Ancaster 289-203-3195AWARD WINNING CLINIC • Doctor of Audiology How'syour Hearing at6 feet? While physically distancing from 6 feet or more, hearing is now more important than ever! NOW OPEN! 370Winston Road Grimsby, 289-659-8881 We're practicing social distancing, proper disinfection protocols and limiting the number of staff and patients in our clinics. We're Working To keep You Safe! It's what light in a dark tunnel signals that's most important. That's why my recent colonoscopy took some fi- nagling. Since last winter, I'd been experiencing some mild to moderate abdomi- nal discomfort, and while other potential issues had been ruled out in recent months, it was a test I'd been procrastinating. They say you have to be proactive with your health these days, and this point needs to be emphasized, es- pecially during a pandem- ic. The test, originally scheduled for earlier this year, had been pushed well into 2021, and knowing what others have gone through with things left unchecked, and thereby undetected, I checked to see if there was an earlier opening. The response from Dr. Abbas Merali's office in Kitchener was prompt and they made time for me within a week. I made the trip to St. Mary's in Kitche- ner on Nov. 6. It wasn't pleasant pac- ing back and forth in front of my kids' Halloween can- dy for spurts of two days, fasting, taking laxatives and drinking clear liquids only, with raging hellfire near the end of an ordeal that was about to culmi- nate (That's fancy for get- ting it where the sun doesn't shine). U.S. President Donald Trump was apparently on his way out, and so were a lot of other things. Like an electoral map, it was flush and repeat for the better part of two days. In all seriousness though, at a time when pot- ty humour is at its height in my home, with ages 4 and 6, colon health is no laughing matter. On average, 73 Canadi- ans are diagnosed with col- orectal cancer every day and 27 Canadians die from colorectal cancer every day, according to the Cana- dian Cancer Society. The colonoscopy pro- cess is something not too many people like to dis- cuss; those who do, don't usually make it any easier on the next person. But considering what others have endured and have gone through recently, I considered it all a mild flu. Overall, the staff at St. Mary's were A1. I was transferred from the waiting room to prep within 20 minutes and watched The Jeffersons (it was truly a sick day) before moving on up with others of the same fate in hospital gowns, IV tubes inserted. There's mild sedation - fentanyl, according to a nurse. In retrospect, the whole experience some might consider a good time and pay money for, I got free on OHIP. And, being com- pletely honest, the actual procedure was much easi- er than the prep. While I did experience a couple pangs, the light an- esthetic made it all seam- less. The whole thing was done in under a half hour. The discomfort, which felt like a small Shop-Vac sucking on my innards, was probably occurring when I was having polyps removed - four to be exact. Thankfully, no biopsies needed to be taken, howev- er polyps are small growths that can turn into cancerous tumours if left untreated. Most colon can- cer begins as precancerous polyps. I'm happy to report, for my own sake, the persis- tent abdominal discomfort I had for close to a year hasn't been an issue since. It had been happening on an almost daily basis be- fore. And, while none of us is ever out of the woods when it comes to our health, it's reassuring to know I'm in the clear down there, for now at least. Peace of mind and fresh as a daisy. Moral of the story: Get your butt checked if need be. It's not that bad. Factoids: • Generally, the earlier colorectal cancer is diag- nosed and treated, the bet- ter the outcome. The "rela- tive, five-year survival rate" for those with colon cancer detected in Stage 1 is 92%. That drops to 12% for those in which colon cancer is detected in Stage 4. • The colonoscopy was invented in the late 1960s but wasn't commonly ad- ministered until the 1980s. • The ascending portion of the colon is not where you think. It's the descend- ing portion that connects to the rectum. • The endoscopy unit at St. Mary's was made possi- ble with community dona- tions, as is most equipment and infrastructure that en- ables life-saving tests at our local hospitals. Bill Jackson is a report- er with the Waterloo Chronicle. Reach him at bjackson@torstar.ca. OPINION TRUMP'S DEFEAT COINCIDED WITH MY COLONOSCOPY TRUMP WAS ON HIS WAY OUT, AND SO WERE A LOT OF OTHER THINGS FOR CHRONICLE REPORTER BILL JACKSON BILL JACKSON Column