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_ Get informed: Gather all the information you can about local programs and services in your area that assist abused women and their children. These programs offer If you suspect a neighbour or friend is being abused, here is some advice from GTAâ€"based Ernestine‘s Women‘s Shelter on what you can do. * And yet, it happens more freâ€" quently: 69 per cent of women who have been sexually assaulted are assaulted by men they know. The bottom line: there is no excuse for abuse. Part of the problem is that vioâ€" lence against women "within a relaâ€" tionship" is still not considered as serious a crime as is assault by a stranger. Consider this: in Canada, the painful truth is that a woman is harmed, maimed or injured every minute of every day. That woman is someone‘s mother, daughter, lover, wife, friend, relative or coâ€"worker. If you‘ve been a father for any length of time, you know you will collect a tremendous list of wonderful gifts over the years. YWCA Canada recently released a national study calling for vioâ€" lence against women to be considâ€" ered a national priority. It occurs among all ages, races, and religions, and to people of all educational and income levels. And golf? That‘s more of an addiction for than anything else. I take part in all three, and I‘m not particularly good at any one of them. I barbecue because it gives me a chance to stand outside and drink a beer â€" this is a gift I do possess. My home improvement skills are reduced, essenâ€" tially, to fixing something just long enough so someâ€" one who really knows what they are doing can come in and repair the mess I‘ve made. Get informed about violence against women ple What happens to dads who don‘t have any abilities or interests in those particuâ€" lar areas. Our selfless job in allowing someone to spring from our loins, reduced to those three categories. For a week before the big day, how many advertising flyers do with get about gifts for dad. Although, it does seem the gift choices for dad are fairly slim... golf, barbecuing and home improvement. I also think Father‘s Day has become a much bigger deal now than it was then. Once again, the shining moment of the year for me has passed. Father‘s Day â€"â€" the 25th I have celebrated since beginning the "journey of parentâ€" hood." Someone called it that once. They were lying. It‘s a journey, but the end keeps moving more and more distant. My father passed away more than 30 years ago, so my memories of any Father‘s Day moments with him simply don‘t exist. I think, to a large degree, I was too young and too selfish to really figure out how important it was. _ Sometimes the people you love get you some Thankfully, I am not one of those peoâ€" More than just moustache Direct your friend to community services: Once your friend asks for your help, share the information you‘ve collected. Encourage her to contact a violenceâ€"againstâ€"women hotline or women‘s shelter. Let her know that she is not alone and that caring people are available to help. Reassure her that any information she shares with these services will be kept strictly confidential. Lend a sympathetic nonâ€"judgâ€" mental ear: Lending a nonâ€"judgâ€" mental ear is crucial in breaking the isolation associated with abuse. Letâ€" ting your friend know you care and will not judge anything she shares with you may be the best help you can offer. Without forcing the issue, let her know you are willing to listen when she is ready to confide in you. Never underestimate her fear of potential danger and remember to focus on your friend‘s right to make her own choices. Tell her you are there when she needs you, and proâ€" vide whatever help you can: transâ€" portation, child care, taking care of a pet, etc. Make sure you access community supports and have information available for your friend if she needs it. women safety, as well as provide advocacy and support. Contact the Assaulted Women‘s Helpline (416â€" 863â€"0511) or Education Wife Assault to talk about your concerns or learn more about the services in your community. Focus on your friend‘s strengths: * Hear more of Brian‘s thoughts on life with the KOOL Morning Crew every weekday morning from 6 to 9 a.m. on Waterloo radio station 105.3 KOOL FM. I got my Father‘s Day br};cms countless times, on every day of the year. They made it â€" and still do make it â€" very easy to be a dad. 8 SEen s ieen ons anennene ie I wanted them to grow up to be productive members of society; to care about other people; to do the right things; and, most importantly, to always be able to give their dad a hug. Truth is, like all dads, and straight out of the handbook, I only ever wanted a couple of things. pe e xd en 1 N "Oh, you don‘t have to get me anything;" "Thank you, I‘ve always wanted to try this;" and "How in the mmmmmame; _ World did you know I needed this?" Like all dads, I‘ve always said the same thing... we all pick up the handbook of Things Dad Should Say at Some Point. ment thing you truly like; other times they will pick up something they think you will like or â€" even better â€" something they believe you should like. That‘s self improvement, not home improveâ€" COMMENT I treasured those cards and, in fact, still have many of them, which 1 plan to use in a nasty and vengeful way when some of them trot off to get marâ€" And they were wonderful pictures, even though, at times, it did seem like I was composed of 73 per cent mousâ€" tache. They would always feature handâ€" drawn pictures of me, doing someâ€" thing... throwing a baseball, building some unknown structure,.reading a book, whatever. + When my girls were young, I always enjoyed getting the homemade cards. And we mean every word of it, kids â€" don‘t be fooled. + When to intervene: Call 911 immediately if there is an immediâ€" ate danger to a person, or if you have a reasonable suspicion that a violent incident is occurring. It canâ€" not be overemphasized that domesâ€" tic violence is a crime that can result in serious injury and even death. Help develop a safety plan: Help your friend think through the action steps she will take to protect herself and her children should the abuser return while she is in the process of fleeing. Suggest she contacts the Woman Abuse Hotline of a women‘s shelter to develop a safety plan for escape. Suggest she gather as many personal documents such as birth certificates, social insurance cards and immigration papers. It is also important to suggest that she take or make a copy of her deed, rental agreement or lease. Many abuse victims live with emoâ€" tional as well as physical. abuse. Without any positive reinforcement from outsige their home, she may begin to believe that she is deservâ€" ing of the treatment she is getting. Give your friend the emotional supâ€" port she needs to believe she is a good person. Remind her that vioâ€" lence can happen to anyone and it is not her fault. Violence is always unacceptable. Emphasize that she deserves a life free from violence. Ernestine‘s Women‘s Shelter Toronto Thank you Edmonton Oilers for a great season, and for helpinglorrkindlethcpassionfothockeyinallofus Sean Strickland has served as a public school trustee, city and regional councilior. He hosts a public affairs show on Rogers Cable 20 Thursday nights at 7 p.m. Email eoaetacc c caal s Love those Oilers R I say yes to the Iibra&}ésvl'(-)“tlnY and yes to the university â€"butcouncillolsandmflncedlofiguremnhowbigofayes it requires. If this is to be phased in over five years, what costs $9 milâ€" lion today will cost close to $10 million with inflation by 2011, and this is not accounting for increases in construction costs. I also wonder about the location of the soccer fields. It doesn‘t make sense to have a huge recreation facility inaccessible to the new fields. The fields should be close to the new Y and library to maxiâ€" mize the opportunities for soccerâ€"field use. The city needs to strenuously tiate with the university and the Y before this deal is done. nee? The city, in return, will provide $9 million worth of roads, sewers and watermain infrastructure to be constructed over the next five years. The total project cost, including $18 million for the Y and library, $1.8 million for the sportsfields and $9 million for servâ€" ices to the university, is $29 million. Minus a $6â€"million contribution from the Y and the total cost to Waterloo taxpayers, the cost is $23 million. The city will retain ownership of the entire facility and lease the space to the Y. As is the case with projects of this size, details matter. Yes, we need recreation facilities on the west side; yes we need a branch library on the west side. But is it worth an additional $9 million to make it happen? If the city agrees to provide the infrastructure to the univerâ€" sity for the $9 million, is the total cost guaranteed? 1 1 AP ° ECCOIPOEPROVILS The proposal calls for a fourâ€"lane ;-_ swimming pool, sauna, fitness area, dance studio, exercise space, gymnasium, running track, meetâ€" ing room and food service area in a 47,000 squareâ€"foot buildâ€" ing. The adjacent library will occupy 21,000 square feet. Outdoor sportsfields are also part of the deal, and they will be located closer to Westmount Road and Bearinger Road. The University of Waterloo will lease this land to the city for $1 per year. Despite my support for the project, city council is right to slow the process down and examine all the details of the proposal. I don‘t expect too much opposition from neighbours this time around. Due to stiff public opposition, the city moved the site of the rec complex from the west side to its current locaâ€" tion in uptown. It is, howerver, ironic that if the Y goes ahead on the universiâ€" ty lands where it‘s currently proposed â€" Fischerâ€"Hallman Road and Laurelwood Drive â€" it won‘t be too far from the Laurelwood WWe shopping centre at Columbia Street STR L \Sa \ and Fisher Hallman Road where the ho r ANay! Waterloo Memorial Recreation Comâ€" 5[’ h\l\l\ (1 plex would have gone more than 10 years ago. < It is also reasonably well known that the YMCA has been actively working with the city for the past several years to find a suitable partnership arrangement where the Y could restore its presence in Waterloo, and more importantly offer recreation services to our residents. The city‘s west side is absent of significant recreation servicâ€" es, and the drive to RIM Park is often frenetic and time conâ€" suming. This is good news for library patrons and the YMCA. The YMCA‘s presence in our community has been diminished ever since they sold the popular and wellâ€"used facility on Lincoln Road. A. MacDonald high school n principle, 1 wholeheartedly support the recently Iannounced plan for the new branch library to be located in a shared facility with the YMCA. I have said on more than one occasion thatâ€"the city missed an opportunity several years ago when they had a chance to build a new branch as part of the recently constructed Sir John Love the project; check the price tag