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will start with the assertion that IConservalive governments withâ€" in our Western democracies repâ€" resent the interests of the corporate world, and the rich. The raison d‘etre for a conserâ€" vatism as a political force has always been the protection and advancement of corporate interests, often atthe expense of the wellâ€" being of lower or middle income citizens and their institutions. Tories left a legacy of broken promises Conservative governments in Canada, whether they are provincial or federal in scope, have left behind them shattered institutions and an increasing number of citizens unable to make financial ends meet due to the steady rise in the cost of living alongside stagnating wages. The Hartis regime sought to priâ€" vatize Ontario Hydro. To the conâ€" sumer, this meant higher hydro hills. Higher prices and frequent brownouts in California in the recent past are testament to the perils of privatizing a resource that should be kept in the public domain. Enforcement agencies within the Ministry of National Resources were gutted, allowing big industry to polâ€" lute and to exploit without due regard to the environment quences â€" municipalities unable to carry this extra financial burden were forced to downsize a valuable service, and in some instances, to His regime privatized waterâ€"testâ€" ing labs so his government wouldn‘t have to subsidize the operation He halted the subsidization of public transit, in effect saying his government was no longer interestâ€" ed in promoting an alternative to the automobite. Before Harris, Ontario had subsiâ€" dized public transit to the tune of 70 per cent: Soon after his election, he passed the financial burden onto Ontario‘s municipalities. Passing the "buck" to the municâ€" ipalities had its undesirable conseâ€" You said it QUESTION WHAT IS YOUR NEW YEAR‘S RESOLUTION? Eol | +d His government closed hospitals and failed to insert sufficient funds into remaining hospitals so that these institutions could maintain a decent level of service to the public. He created mayhem in the pubâ€" lic education system. With one hand his government withheld necâ€" essary funding for extracurricular activities, arts and music programs, to name a few. With the other hand his governâ€" ment was very gracious with its support of private schools in the form of subsidies and other handâ€" outs, at the expense of the average taxpayer. Within the public education sysâ€" tem,. in many cases there wasn‘t even enough funding to provide for such items as new textbooks, school supplies and even the necessary building upgrades, while at the same time encouraging corporaâ€" tions to come into schools and peddle their junk food at inflated prices. In its restructured form, WSIB, it has become increasingly difficult to file claims and to collect compensaâ€" tion payouts when injury occurs The Harris government kept minimum wages frozen at $6.85/hr, one of the lowest anywhere, save for the United States, within the indusâ€" trialized world, while at the same _ His actions created the "double cohort," resulting in oversized classâ€" es in our colleges and universities, All of this mayhem has manifestâ€" ed itself in the form of heightened stress levels in teachers and stuâ€" dents alike as they struggle to work with increasingly scarce resources. Harris® contempt for social serâ€" vices was aptly demonstrated early in his administration when he withâ€" drew financial support for halfâ€"way houses and put welfare recipients under the microscope. His people completely restrucâ€" tured the Workmen‘s Compensation "Nope, I don‘t believe in them. I live my life the way I want to, day in and day out." "You know what, I‘ve been so busy this year, 1 haven‘t had a chance to worry about next year!" ) THE CHRONICL] lan Hutchinson COMMENT time adopting draconian measures such as the imposition of the 60â€" hour work week. Even as these actions were being implemented, the Harris governâ€" ment rewarded his corporate beneâ€" factors with generous tax breaks, all on the backs of the taxpayers of Ontario. This Conservative government took from the working citizenry and from its fine institutions necessary funding to provide for decent serâ€" vices and basically redistributed those funds to their corporate friends. Much like Robin Hood in reverse â€" take from the working poor and give to the rich. _ This litany of abuse, and the rewarding of corporate friends, goes beyond the Harris government. This is the legacy of the Conservâ€" are government â€" broken promises, damaged institutions, increased joblessness, hobbled social programs, and alongside all this misery, wealthier corporations and a contented upper class, secure in their knowledge that conservaâ€" tive governments have been, and always shall be, their benefactors. We need go no further than the Mulroney years. During his tenure as our erstwhile prime minister he introduced the despised GST, which effectively doubled the taxes conâ€" sumers paid on purchased items. This replaced the manufacturer‘s tax â€" in essence, rather than the manufacturer paying a tax on the item, the burden had now shifted to the ordinary consumer in the form of the GST. Past Conservative governments in Canada have destroyed jobs rather than help create them. "I ‘ve got a big family and we just seem to spend too much money, so I‘m going to try and save money." "Yeah, I need to resolve to keep better track of what I‘m spending." Graeme Smith Doug Chown Mysteriously, both Peter McKay and Stephen Harper will subsequently be struck by lightning on the same day. _ Twoâ€"time Tory leadership candiâ€" l TKOW date David Orchard will announce that PIATKOWSKI he has "a signed deal" with Publisher‘s > Clearinghouse indicating that he "may already be a winner". On the strength of this commitment, he will throw his supâ€" port behind Ed McMahon to lead his party (although no one besides Orchard is quite sure what party that is). _ â€" Following the announcement that former leader Ed Broadâ€" bent will be mounting a political comeback, the federal NDP will launch "Operation Undead" â€" a plan to exhume the remains of deceased former leaders Tommy Douglas, David Lewis, MJ. Coldwell and J.S. Woodsworth in order to run them in winnable ridings. Deposed Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein will not be tried for crimes against humanity, after the United States decides that they would rather release him than have him testify in open court. "If we had known everything that he was prepared to disâ€" close, we would have just left him in the hole." George W. Bush‘s approval ratings will drop rapidly when he finally runs out of countries to go to war against. After his defeat in the November election, American voters will string up a huge banner over the White House reading "Misâ€" sion Accomplished". Presidentâ€"elect Howard Dean will announce plans to rescind all of the Bush tax cuts for the rich. According to Dean, "We‘ve done a study and it turns out that money actually trickles up." The Toronto Maple Leafs will start a new undefeated streak After reviewing Martin‘s "Liberal" record and his "Liberal" platform for the coming federal election, many of the propoâ€" nents of the Unite the Right movement will scratch their collective head and .ms hks . § a | ce | :ns‘th alue':)lrl:};:!;am why we bothere | ANOTHER | The few remaining members of the Conservative Party of Canada will pray to New Brunswick Premier Bernard Lord to "deliver us from evil". The heirs of recentlyâ€"deceased Red Tory Robert Stanfield will announce that they have buried him in a specialâ€" lyâ€"designed grave, "in order to make spinning easier." s â€" Bored with the actual details of governing, California Goverâ€" nor Arnold Schwarzenegger will gun down all of "the girly men" in the State Senate and House of Assembly. Having realized that the semiâ€"permanent Orange Alert was failing to inspire the expected level of fear among the populace, U.S. President Bush will unveil a new colour scheme with furâ€" ther levels of terror. Unfortunately, the new "Plaid Alert" and "Polka Dot Alert" will only lead to further shrugs across the which will, remarkably, continue precisely until the start of the On the heals of her successful attempt to establish a strict dress code for the Ontario legislature (a move aimed primarily at Peter Kormos and his cowboy boots}, obscure rookie Liberal MPP Monique Smith will announce that she will be starring in a new reality TV program: "Liberal Eye for the NDP Guy". Former prime minister Jean Chretien will accept a highâ€"proâ€" file posting as "The Ghost of Prime Ministers Past" and immediâ€" ately begin roaming the halls of Parliament. Prime Minister Paul Martin will announce that he has finally resolved the difficult question of Sheila Copps‘ future. "I‘m going to stick a Bahamian flag on her and float her out to sea. Hey, don‘t laugh. It worked whenever 1 had a problem in my shipping business." NDP leader Jack Layton will handily beat Liberal incumbent Dennis Mills in the riding of Torontoâ€"Danforth, finally freeing Mills up to work as a fullâ€"time concert promoter. _____ _ â€" When asked to justify his actions, Schwarzenegger will simâ€" ply repeat the same tired movie lines that got him elected: "Consider this a divorce. 1 let him go. Hasta la vista baby. I‘ll be _ Following the elimination of their team, Leaf fans will conâ€" tinue to savour their memories of 1967. aving found himself unable to keep all but a few of his Hmany election promises, Ontario Premier Dalton McGuinty will reluctantly announce, "Maybe Emnie Eves was right. I‘m really not up to the job." But, he will add that "it‘s still all his fault. Did I mention the deficit? The cupboard is bare. The cupboard is bare." ® Scott‘s predictions for 2004 Waterloo Chronicle columnist Scott Piatkowski shares a few of his political predictions for 2004.