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WATERLOO CHRONICLE Eâ€"gnail: wchronicle@sentex net 75 King St. South, Suite 201 Waterloo, Ontario N2J 1P2 Lynn Bartol Laurie Ridgway Regional Classified Fjegs_dfi:d The Waterioo Chronicle is published every Wednesday by The Fairway Group, a division of Southern Ontario Community Newspapers Inc., a division of Southam Publications, a CanWest Company. The views of our columists are their own and do not necessarily represent those of the newspaper. ~n § k ¢ 2 wgÂ¥ ‘ %‘\ k ""‘f& 22 s P [ \:‘- l lnace .1 International Standard Serial Number ISSN 0832â€"3410 The Waterloo Chronicle welcomes letters to the Editor They should be signed with name, address and phone num ber and will be verified for accu racy. No unsigned letters will be published Submissions may be edited for length, so please be brief. Copyright in letters and other materials submitted to the Publisher and accepted for publication remains with the author, but the publisher and its licensees may freely reproduce them in print, electronic or other forms. Our mailing address is 75 King St. S.. Suite 201, Waterloo N2J 1P2, our eâ€"mail address is wechronicle@sentex.net, and our fax number is 886â€"9383 Carolyn Anstey Jim Alexander Circulation Director of Letters Policy Andrea Bailey Bob Wrbanac Reporter Sports Editor Canadian Publications Mail Sales Product Agreement Number 136379 Cal Bosveld Deborah Crandall Gerry Mattice Bill Karges Publisher: Cal Bosveld Norma Cyca Sylvia O‘Donnell Advertising Advertising Audited circulation: 26,056 Manager > smm § ast week I tried to make a mockery of the sun I on these pages and I think it was a mistake. I led him a coward and a chicken for cowerâ€" ing behind clouds for so long and challenged him to show his face. I threw him a gauntlet and he used it to give my back a red hot slapping all weekend. Now I‘m gingerly applying Lidocaine anaesthetic lotion to my barbecued ribs and shoulders every few hours. If anything deserves respect, it‘s an angry sun â€" just ask the Aztecs. I‘m going to respect all of Mother Nature‘s forces this week, for fear of more revenge, so there‘ll be no sly comments about her waterfalls from me. Before visiting Niagara last Friday, 1 considered all the approaches available. Should 1 humbly bow before one of the Seven Wonders, or should I be wary of tourist trap greed, a most deadly sin disguised as keyâ€"rings, hotâ€"dogs and grown men dressed as io sevenâ€"foot teddy bears? M / I‘m warned to steer clear | S\I\Il. of ‘haunted house‘ tours CHANGE and photo booths where e you get into a barrel and get your picture taken with a cardboard waterfall i *4 in the background. 4 The â€" only _ moving image of the Falls I had in my head before leaving on Friday morning is one of Lois Lane pushing herself over the balcony into the water, and it doesn‘t help that she made it look so easy. Upon arrival, our group was assured that "the only way to see the Falls" is from the Skylon Tower, so we headed to the top of the CN‘s little cousin and found out that this is a lie. What‘s the first thing you say when you‘re at a great height over a city? You say things like: "The cars look like ants", and make other such imaginative observations. Niagara Falls are big business because they are BIG. From the top of the Skylon they look small. They‘re even cute without that roar that‘s audible from the ground. Stay away from the Skylon. My quest for the tackiest souvenit only lasted five minutes. The Skylon gift shop was selling 50ml bottles of ‘Niagara Water‘ for three dollars, and I even saw more than one person buy a bottle â€" maybe they thought it was ‘Viagra Water‘. I‘m going to resist superlative overdrive by refusâ€" ing to describe the Maid of the Mist boat ride. Words like ‘breathtaking, ‘powerful‘ or ‘amazing have been used to describe anything from the Tomb Raider film to baby dolls that wet themselves, and adding ‘â€"est‘ on the end isn‘t justified. It‘s not that I‘m laziest. I was told to go to Clifton Hill to get the sarcasm snowball rolling, but I didn‘t go to Niagara to poke fun, for once. I turned paparazzi on the Falls, concentrating on the more photogenic Canadian model. All I‘m saying is that‘s some amount of water you got there, folks, and I‘m so glad 1 was impressed, especially by the Horseshoe Falls â€" that‘s definitely one up you have on the U S. Not wanting to be outdone, though, the temperâ€" ature tower across the river read 39 degrees celsius, while only a hundred metres away, Canada‘s read 35. It actually felt like 49, but the spray was a conâ€" stant refreshment. Fine refreshments were also available at Hillebrand Estates Winery in Niagaraâ€"onâ€"Theâ€"Lake, where we Irish learned how to drink wine from a glass. We were given a tour of the vineyard, and the whole wineâ€"making process from grape to lying on the pub floor was explained. To top off my jolly good day, l bought a nice bottle of Chardonnay as a souvenir, and no, officer, I didn‘t drink it at 6:30 a.m. on Saturday at Tim Horton‘s. Hic. There‘s no describing Niagara Falls VIEWPOINT You know the pollution‘s bad when street signs are in braille ee! Summer made a smashing Webut. All that heat and air polluâ€" tion, too. Air pollution is a little difâ€" ferent from the weather. Everyone talks about it and everyone contributes to it. And there‘s that old song dedicated to it: "When your hair has turned to silver and your eyes have turned to red." Frankly, I didn‘t realâ€" ize the problems smog causes until Kâ€"W started making the street signs in braille. On the Hook: Ouch! Waterloo is on the hook for an extra $114 million on RIM Park, bringing the total cost to 227.7 million, according to two professors commissioned by The Record. The profs, one from Western and one from Waterloo, didn‘t have much trouble deciphering a controversial clause in the lease agreement. The result? The $114 extra tab. No At this writing it‘s hard to guess what Waterloo will do, Considering the amount of dough involved, it‘s doubtful that the participant company would revise the terms. Maybe the best bet of all would be for Waterloo to press hard, hard, hard for the region to become a superâ€"city. That way Kitchener, Cambridge and all the _ smaller â€" municipalities would have to pick up the big share of the park tab. Incidentally, the mayor said it‘s 30 years ago since she last called me. Gosh, if she‘s going to bug me every 30 years or so I‘ll get an unlisted number. Whoops! By the way, I BA Mayor Lynne Woolstencroft has protested that a couple of senâ€" tences in last week‘s column implied that she was blaming The Record for the RIM fuss. Not so, she says: that isn‘t her style. The sentences weren‘t intended to imply any such thing. Anyhow, this should straighten it out if it needs any straightening. Swan Song? Judging by his activities and his nonâ€"activity lately, you‘d almost suspect Mike Harris is not going to run again, that he‘s going to hang up whatever it is premiers hang up. Let‘s see. He‘s seen less in the legislature; his temper seems shorter; he talked snippy to Ontario‘s seniors, and, in general, THORLCIEE seemed fed up with the job. To top it off he‘s been visited by the RCMP ("raided" is the word preferred by some of the media) regarding the Walkerton debacle, and he‘s slated to testify at the inquiry soon. And, natch, he‘s catching heat over the MPP pay raises. I had a recommendation for paying them what they‘re worth, but it would break the Minimum Wage law. No Ifs and Butts: And we take you to Hong Kong for a few words on smoking secâ€" tions in restaurants. It comes from Anthony Hedley, chairman of the Hong Kong Council on Smoking and Health: "Having a nonâ€"smoking section in a restaurant is like having a nonâ€"urinating secâ€" tion in a swimming pool". Bummer Summer: As a matter of pracâ€" tice, Canada is devoid of politics " in summertime. The legislators VER have gone home on their dhions marathon vacations, the jourâ€" 6| NV nalists are busy writing books, and newspaper readers can usually know there‘ll be no poliâ€" " tics to interfere with their relaxâ€" k ation. D l And it looks like it won‘t be Stockwell. He seems on the point of frenzy now. Last week, for example, he proposed a 90â€"day truce with his critics. A few days later he proposed a joint referendum with the PCs to see if their two groups would merger. This week it‘ll be something else. Meanwhile his standing in the polls has colâ€" lapsed like a $2 accordion. Fairly soon he‘ll be able to muster all his supporters in a phone booth. He‘s too far along on the path to repudiaâ€" tion to hope for any kind of delivery. He‘s just prolonging the agony by hanging on. Folks will admire him for his persistence, but once again his judgement is open to question. It strikes me the party has nowhere to go but down. It seems to side with the prosperâ€" ous rightâ€"wing bozos, with the uptrodden of the world. But this year? Heck, no. Mr. Stockwell Day and friends are battling a revolt in his Alliance ranks. They‘ve been dueling for months now, and they seem likely to scrap until there‘s a clear winner.