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Not one of the kids they spoke to would tell their parents of the assault because of the initial lie. The answer "shocked us and flabbergasted their teachers." "Kids feel that the abuse is their fault; that somehow they could have prevented it,"said Mary Frances."We always find a way to blame ourselves if we want to and our chilâ€" dren are no different." Joâ€"Anne agreed, saying, "Kids need to feel human that they can make a wrong choice without being responsible for such a consequence." In addition to the Child Witness program, Joâ€"Anne and Mary Frances provide public education. Recently, at the invitation of a local elementary school, they conducted a dayâ€"long session for Kindergarten to Grade Six classes. It Grade Six audience that Hughes and Carter asked the kids the following question: Accompanied by a friend, your parâ€" ents drive you to the local cinema to see a movie on your own, on the condition that it will be a family rated film. While in line, you and your friend decide to buy tickets to another, more adult film, despite your promise to your parâ€" ents. During the film you are sexual assaulted by someone in the theatre. Would you tell your parents? But it can, and as their caseload attest, it does. They averâ€" age 125 cases a year, peaking to 176 in a recent twelveâ€" are preparing for trial. "Interest in child abuse goes in waves", says Hughes, adding she will be surprised if there is much response to the recent McMaster survey which stated une in eight girls and one in 23 boys suffer sexual abuse in Ontario. "There was more of an outcry in our community about peanut allergies than about a lax conditional sentence given to a sex oflender during the same period last year", she recalls. Why? "Most people believe that this is something that will never happen to them." says Carter. societal change is necessary before we make kids the priority that they should be. that in a fastâ€"paced world this, to some, would seem unreâ€" alistic, they insist that it can be done with better negotiatâ€" ing on the part of the whole family "Let them cook on a night that you don‘t have soccer, or on a weekend." says mmmemmnmmemmmemmmmmmemeee . MATY FTIDCCS. allowing them to help with the family meal. While both Joâ€" Anne and Mary Frances, parents themselves, acknowledge "They need to feel safe to tell the whole truth. We all confidence and decisionâ€"making skills" Hughes and Carter insist that we need a "whole scale different" approach on how we parent and deal with kids. "We need to treat our kids with respect; to allow them to say No‘ in comfortable and safe situations. If they can‘t say ‘No‘ in a safe environment, like their home, then how can we expect them to say ‘No‘ in an unsafe environment?" asks Mary Frances. the answers on how we can protect our children from the trauma of child abuse but, as coordinators of the Child Witness program at Citizens Concerned with Crime Against Children (4C‘s), they have developed several insights. _ "We need to rethink what we talk to our kids about," believes Joâ€"Anne, "We need to teach them selfâ€" Canadian Publications Mail Sales Product Published \\h“y':y“l?el‘fiqfiw Protecting our children A basic example of empowering the children would be Joâ€"Anne Hughes and Mary Frances Carter don‘t have all WATERLOO CHRONICLE July 23, 1997 Both agree that parenting courses can help, but how do you get people to attend? Hughes and Carter believe a "Don‘t try to make it perâ€" fect." Joâ€"Anne adds, "So what if they spill a little or are a litâ€" tle dirty behind their ears. It is as simple as letting them get into their own snowâ€"suit â€"â€" sure they fumble a bit and will look a little less than perfect, but more importantly, you are teaching them first steps in how to take control over their own life." real for 700 pm. on Tuesday, August 5, 1997 at the Street West, Waterloo. Subsequent meetings will be held quarterly on the first Tuesday of November, February, May and August at the same time and locaâ€" @nummfiimn&wm»m :mmmmmcmu ‘The next meeting of the liaison committee is scheduled All members of the public are invited to attend the comâ€" mittee meetings. The goal of the committee is to identiâ€" fymmu.fiawmm as litter and noise and to resolve those issues in a coopâ€" nl:z-lwdwmmmw a liaison committee for the Waterloo Landfill REGIONAL MUNICIPALITY OF WATERLOO Day Beds Bunk Beds Futons Sofas Cpt. 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