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PAGE 4 â€" WATERLOO CHRONICLE, WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 26, 1994 Be selective, be quick. If you intend to be a creep and pick through your kids‘ treats for the good stuff, do it early, when the variety is such they aren‘t likely to notice. Licorice, Rockets candy rolls, and miniâ€"chocolate bars are easy pickings. Potato chips are more difficult, especially the yummy allâ€"dressed variety. Smarties and Gummy Bears all but impossible. Above all else, be careful. You want your child to think you a thief the rest of your life? Darkness doesn‘t do it. Just because you are tapped for shellâ€"outs and it‘s 8 p.m. and you‘re tired from a hectic day and trying to get highâ€"wired kids to bed, n000000, don‘t for a minute think that by blowing out the pumpkin, shutting off the lights and slamming the front door shut, you‘ll discourage some trick or treaters. It is Halloween, and they will come. Under any circumstances. Believe it. They are the ones you give the soft, bruised apples to. And make a big deal about how healthy apples are for them. They‘ll avoid you like the plague next Speaking of trick or treaters... Don‘t for a minute believe you are funny when a bunch of kidlets come to your door and yell "trick or treat" and you say "trick." They have no idea what you are talking about, but will definitely think you an idiot, and will come back when you are at work the next day and walk through your shrubs or tip over your garbage can. Trick this, muster Nice decoration, but... When you decide to keep up with the Joneses by painstakingly erecting a scarecrow complete with pumpkin head (see above) on your front porch, be sure not to dress him up with the pants you wanted to wear to the golf tournament the same weekend. His hat may be blown off in a windstorm, the paper boy may knock his arm, but a scarecrow wearing the pants in the family wears‘em ‘til Halâ€" loween is done. Beth tends to shortâ€"circuit in the name of efficiency in this regard. "We had about 40 kids last year, so we should be able to get by on..." At which pornt I interect, *no, we had about 140 kids last year, ran out at 7â€"10 p.m. and ended up handing out pennies and our kids‘ treats." Beth came back from shopping this week with enough treats to feed every trick or treater in the Western Hemisphere. Point. And counterpoint. If you have children, tell them that pumpkins carve best when they are bought less than two days before Halloween. If you have children, getting a pumpkin several weeks in advance breaks all rules of parenting. They will drive you nuts demanding the ceremonial carving, and you will drive them nuts with sordid tales of rotting, vandalism and the like. Like, dressing up as a Chiclet or PT Gumby may get you a laugh coming through the door, but if 90 per cent of the guests are wearâ€" ing Molson X tees and dungarees, you‘ll feel awfully silly around 11 p.m Old kids also need Halloween tips For instance, while Mom may think it cute to dress up like, say, Madonna, it becomes a tad awkward when Junior pipes up "neat costume, Mom, what are the cones for?" It is with a mixture of sadness and relief that I notice the media and police have kept up their campaign to educate parents and chilâ€" dren about safety factors for the little tykes for Halloween. You can find just such a useful article on the page of this week‘s Chronicle. Sadly, a number of the tips no longer are of the common sense (1.e. traffic, costume safety) variety, but instead focus on how to avord hazardous situations created by idiots who would spoil the fun occasion for the rest of us. That‘s mixed with relief in the knowlâ€" edge that by playing it safe and smart, there will be less opportunity for the vandals and thugs to do their dirty work. Because Halloween, in addition to the legends and folklore, is all about fun. And since we have tips mainly for the small fry, I thought it might be wise to add a few more for us older kids. And so, I present Halloween Safety Tips For Adults. Never wear a costume to an adult party that you may have to explain to your kids, or the babysitter. Waterloo Chronicle Canadian Publications Mail Sales Product Agreement #136379 Published every Wednesday by The Fairway Group 215 Fairway Rd. S., Kitchener, Ont. October 26, 1994 Make sure to have enough treats on hand to meet the If you‘re going to a party, make sure costumes are mandaâ€" Rick Campbell That‘s life Serting Waterlog Region since 1959 VMon I U Di | ‘g 2960 Kingsway Dr Fairview Park Mall Kitchener 894â€"0883 Dunnette i â€"fr 10 a.m â€" 930 pm Sat 9 30 a m -6pm Closed Sunday ) EWw EULERS "Built in Ontario" 1995 Corolla 12,988 Quality Education Support Kathryn Craig Public School Trustee / Waterloo 746â€"3188 Authorized by the CFO for the Kathryn Craig campaign Best Resale Value in it‘s Class® 1995 Camry 6.9* 6.9*