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PAGE 4 â€" WATERLOO CHRONICLE, WEDNESDAY, MARCH 23, 1994 The survey was, uh I have progressed reasonably well through life without once havâ€" ing the inclination to view a Star Trek episode in its entirety. Just as quickly I add that the times I have watched parts, I was more or less a captive audience. And felt like it. The reason this even surfaces is bec..use my niece Lori, who someday soon will make a fabulous teacher, is doing an essay on children‘s reactions to television. She surveyed us on the weekend about our two oldest, and chatted with Jordan and Drew themâ€" selves about their favorites, their reactions and so on. After we had run the gamut of cartoon capers, I hastened to add: "Don‘t know if this falls under your subject matter, Lori, but we had a chat with the boys just last night at the supper table about watching Star Trek." + "Star Trek?" she scowled. "I can‘t stand that show. Every one of the 2000 or so episodes is exactly the same." Hooo. Good bloodlines, I thought to myself. "Well," I continued, "the reason I mention it is because we like to monitor everything the kids watch. One night after another of their shows, Star Trek came on and five minutes into it, I met Jordan backpedalling out of the room. We‘ve made sure ever since that Star Trek isn‘t on the menu." "What, something scared him?" "Not sure if he was scared but confused, just the usual, about four minutes in, a laser from nowhere melted someone‘s face. It‘s mandatory before the first commercial." OK, maybe I exaggerate, but only slightly. My first exposure to this mindless drivel came ‘during university "I see you‘ve beaten me to the TV converter again," I chewed, after arriving home from a sevenâ€"class day exhausted. "Let me guess, Star Trek." "Absolutamundo, Rico, best show on TV, why, what did you want "The Gong Show." "Give Star Trek a chance, it‘s the best show ever on television." He was never prone to overstatement. "Gimme a break," I said, loading up my stock answer, "if I want to watch 40â€"yearâ€"old men dressed up in pink tunics run around with flashlights in their hands for an hour, I‘ll go down and check out the ushers at the Lyric Theatre." How could he even compare Bill Shatner with Chuckie Barris? Mr. Spock with The Unknown Comic? "Beam Me Up" Scottie with Needless to say, our suppertime discussions were Animaniacal. "And do the kids want to watch it now*" asked Lori, practically begging for the negatory. â€" "Well, we‘re not sure," I answered, "I think Jordan is really still feeling out the territory, but no way for Drew. It‘s hard for us to explain that the series has had 11â€"teen different names, and keeps coming back and back and back with ‘all new episodes‘ that still have the same nimrods scooting around the spaceship with shrunken pizzas taped to their foreheads. Besides, it‘s a noâ€"brainer, the kids are only exposed to it at 6 p.m. and that‘s when Polka Dot Door is on TVOntario. Now that‘s quality TV." + Lori had her survey data wrapped up and started to leave. "And you know what else drives me nuts â€"" "No, what Uncle Rick?" "The Trekkies who roll their eyes at you when you make a referâ€" ence to Dr. Spock instead of Mr. Spock. And who are all over you like a wet blanket when you take Beam Me Up, Scottie out of conâ€" text. And who take you to small claims court when you confuse in public that June Lockhart was on Lost in Space, and was not the Shatâ€"man‘s love interest in, let‘s see, theme six, The Next But Cerâ€" tainly Not The Last Frontier." "The Final Frontier..." "You get your survey and scram, hear?" days when I had much more important mindless drivel to be focussing on. Unfortunately, my mindless roommate at t!:e time to watch?" "Something a little more stimulating." was a mindless devotee. A Trekkie, I believe before the moniker was Well yes, it‘s one thing to show a disdain through life for anything remotely related to science fiction. Guilty as charged. > It‘s quite another to deride an entire cult following. I‘m talking Trekkies. As in, Star Trekkies. _ _ Published every Wednesday by The Fairway Group 215 Fairway Rd. S., Kitchener, Ont. March 23, 1994 Waterioo Chronicle Canadian Publications Mail Sales I for the children Rick Campbell ‘s life The Best Deal in Town!! DRAGON PALACE 2ND _ ANNIVERSARV SZECHUAN & CHINESE BUFFET 75 Weber Street, Waterloo (Zellers Plaza) 888â€"7200 DINNER BUFFET Monday to Thursday $8.99 Friday to Sunday _ $10.49 (& holidays) * LIMITED TIME ONLY LUNCH BUFFET Monday to Friday Saturday _ Sunday Monday to Thursday & Sunday 11:30 a.m. â€" 10:00 p.m. Friday & Saturday 11 :30 a.m. â€" 11:00 p.m. Pickup and Delivery Petals & PObS inc. : . Fower & G6ift shop $4.99 $5.49 $6.49