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"Exactly‘ And that‘s why I‘m so annoyed. We wait until the last minute to do these things. And you‘ve had them for years!" "What other things are there?" I asked. "Bill Clinton wants tax hikes on the rich and wants to add a hefty tax to the price of cigarettes." We did all of those things a few years ago," I pointed out. "That‘s the problem," she said. "Your leaders have had far more courage and foresight than ours. We need more of what you‘ve got." Then [ realized something. "But just a minute, Aunt Molly," I said. "You haven‘t mentioned George Bush in all of this. What ideas has he stolen." "He hasn‘t That‘s just the point. The guy doesn‘t have any new ideas. Just old ones. And that‘s why he‘s not going to win the election." , With that, she hung up the phone. | It was good food for thought. § "National health insurance. Clinton‘s been talking about it non stop. And he points to your system as the shining example." "Well, you know, we‘ve had that since 1965," I said, proudly. "Even Ross Perot had some good Canadian ideas," she pointed out "His economic plan included a 50â€"centâ€"perâ€"gallon tax on gasoline." "Sounds just like what Joe Clark tried to introduce in the 1980 federal election campaign in Canada." "Well, they‘re just bellyaching because the guy is doing all the right things. And even though they hurt now, he‘ll leave the country in a whole lot better shape." * "What do you mean by that?" ‘He‘s turned your spending around. Your deficit is in better shape than when he came into office. Our guys just keep spending and spending." "A lot of Canadians wouldn‘t agree with you on that, Aunt Molly," cautioned "What other ideas have your candidates stolen?" I asked. She had me intrigued "That‘s for sure. But he stole the idea frolrliyél-x-guys. That Brian Mulroney thought of it first. It‘s taking our boys a while before they caught on to that one." "I read about it," I answered. "If he doesn‘t do something like that, the U.S national debt will never get under control." Waterloo Town Square 75 King St. South, Suite 201 Waterloo, Ontario "Did you hear that Bill Clinton might introduce a tax just like your GST if he gets in?" "Well, it‘s about time, Aunt Molly. Join the rest of the civilized world. A consumption tax like GST is necessary â€" especially with your debt load." J. Frederick Sagel is a Kitchener lawyer "But your fellows always think of these things first. I wish our people did that It would be nice to have somebody around like that Mulroney guy." n She has good inside connections with both the Democrats and the Republicans. So she knows what‘s going on. It took her all of one second to start in un her latest theme: "Did you know that our guys are stealing all the Canadian ideas?" "What on earth do you mean?" I asked. "Our presidential candidates are saying things that your politicians did vears ago. It annoys me that we didn‘t do all of this a long time as Now, Molly is an inveterate observer of the political scene and likes nothing better than engaging in a lively conversation. Even if it is midnight. PAGE 6 â€" WATERLOO CHRONICLE, WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 12, 1992 ro Like what? NZJ 1P2 Telephone 886â€"2830 News Line 886â€"3021 Fax. No. 886â€"9383 Maureen McNab Teresa Brown Gerry Mattice Pete Cudhea (Sports editor) Deborah Crandall Tom Brockelbank Melodee Martinuk Now think about this: What would they say if coach Pat Burns showed up behind the Maple Leafs bench in full uniform, pads, helmet, skates and all. Or Adam Rita donned the uniform, pads and cleats to mastermind the Toronto Argos? Or Chuck Daly, late of the Detroit Pistons, donned shorts and highâ€"tops to guide the New Jersey Nets. Baseball managers can‘t wear suits. Oh? How about Connie Mack, the Hall of Famer, who Dressed to Drill: I‘ve never figured out why baseball managers wear uniforms. Why should Cito Gaston, for example, deck himself out in a Blue Jays uniform, cap and spikes when he‘s not going to throw, bat or catch. The most he‘s going to do is sit on the bench, chew gum, phone the bullpen and occasionally stalk to the mound or out to jaw with the umpire. He could do that and be natty in a blazer, grey slacks and loafers. Now think about this What wanld thav eaw if One Wrong Turn: Why is it that so many drivers (mostly women) don‘t draw smackâ€"dab to the centre of the road when making a left turn. They must think that line is for bicycles. Yes, sir, every time the PM makes another of his frequent forays around the world he winds up forgiving tens of millions in loans and plain giving away barrels and barrels of taxpayer dollars. He‘s done it again and again. My puzzlement is this: Where does it say that the PM can play Santa Claus on his own sayâ€"so? Just giving our dollars away. _They used to say that the sun never set on the British Empire. Now it never sets on some place where Brian has played Santa. * Maybe I‘d show a spark of brilliance now and then if I didn‘t have an ignition problem. Or something like that. Often I feel befuddled because there are so many things I don‘t understand. Big things and little things. Like these: Mr. Big Spender: At Christmastime various names are given to the one who brings gifts to all the people of the world: Santa Claus, St. Nicholas, Father Christmas, Kris Kringle and Brian Mulroâ€" ney. Big spender, dressed to kill and up to the trough Greg Cassidy Mary Baycroft Waterloo Chronicle is published every Wednesday by <e> SNM\ The Fairway Group Incorporated 215 Fairway Rd. S., President: Paul Winkler One other thf;xg baffles me: the way cigar smokers always nip a bit off. Why don‘t they buy the right size to start with? No Ifs or Butts: I simply don‘t understand how at five clams a pack anyone can be a heavy smoker. A packâ€"aâ€"day smoker is shelling out $1,825 a year for the opportunity to cough, wheeze, smell and expire at an earlier age. The MPs, it should be noted, are the individuals who return home to prattle about the need for tightening our belts. It seems to me that most MPs look on sacrifice the way the rest look on a lightning bolt. It‘s OK providing it doesn‘t come too close to home. If I were a bigâ€"league ball player I wouldn‘t flaunt those neck chains or anything that reminds the fans of how much they‘re making. It‘s the kind of dough that gives greed a bad name. Up to the Trough: I don‘t understand how our MPs can ever use the word sacrifice without blushing. You should read a list of the perks they‘ve voted themselves, particularly the plush pensions. The Gold Standard: By the way, I‘ve never understood why bigâ€"league ball players handicap themselves by lugging around a kilo of gold during a game. managed for more than 50 years in a suit and sometimes a topcoat for decades. Granted, that was back before the age of the baseball prima donnas. Ah yes, they say that these days when Cito calls the .bullpen he sometimes gets an answering $40 ye. y in Canada, $45 yes 1y outside Canada.