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PAGE 4 â€" WATERLOO CHRONICLE, WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 4, 1991 I‘m sure there are a lot more, but those are a few of the reverse morning mancevres [ can think of. Good thing the gang around the office sees me in a different light by the time I reach the office. Just the other day they commented about how bright eyed and bushyâ€"tailed I am first thing. That‘s me," I concurred. "Sharp as butter." "Uh, don‘t you mean sharp as a tack?" Not always 8. You take your lunch out of the fridge and put it by the door so you can‘t possibly forget it. And of course, you forget it. 9. You put the car in drive â€" to back out of the driveway . 10. On the way to work, you nip into the variety store, plop your change on the counter, and announce to 50 people waiting in line and the cashier "that‘s for the morning paper."" Not only do 50 people do a slow burn, but you show them your true idiot status by proceding to leave â€" without your paper. 4. Safely (I think) out of the bathroom, have you ever proceded to the kitchen and poured fruit juice all over your cereal? You don‘t know whether to cry, or ignore the gaff, eat the cereal anyway and pour yourself a glass of milk â€" after all, it all goes to the same place, right? 5. Run water from your tap directly into the coffee pot, instead of into the coffee maker. And then you‘re into your third sip before you discover why the coffee tastes so weak. 6. Now you‘re really waking up. You toss the coffee grinds in the garbage, tie up the small garbage bag, and â€" take it out to the street. Never mind that it‘s Monday and the garbage gets collected Thursdays. 7. You go upstairs, jump into your clothes, race downstairs and completely forget that the green socks you are wearing may have matched your pyjamas lovely, but don‘t do a whole lot for your navy blazer and camel slacks. 1. Your alarm goes off and you reach to answer the phone and can‘t understand why it‘s still ringing. 2. Put Benâ€"Gay or Ozynol on your toothbrush â€" fortunately for me [ realized what I did before my brush entered my mouth. 3. Tried to lather your face with mousse instead of shaving cream. What I ended up with was a nicelyâ€"coiffed stubble that stayed in place all day Second Class Mail Rewistration Numb Published every Wednesday by Thne Fairway Group Incorporated 215 Fairway Rd. 8.. Kitchener, Ont Saptember 4. 1991 Well, I‘m not so sure about that. Now, I‘ve compiled a list of reverse morning mancevres that I‘ve done in the past, and see if you don‘t see yourself somewhere on it. Waterloo "Your what" "Reverse morning manoevres. You know, where you‘re still so asleep even when you‘re up that you do things automatically, only sometimes you don‘t do them the right way. I call them reverse morning mancevres." "If you do," cackled Beth incredulously, "you‘re the only one in the world who does." 1 & N M nnuhnnntie t nds »Aacie ‘Oh nothing, just dumped the water from my glass onto the counter instead of into the sink. Just another one of my reverse morning manoevres, I guess." One of those things that you realize you are doing the wrong thing the instant you are doing it, but are too late to stop. Almost invariably, it happens to me before I, well, wake up in the morning, if you know what I mean. Like, I am up, but haven‘t really shaken the eyeballs loose. Disgusted at my stupidity, I by accident coined a new phrase as [ cursed and shook my head. "What the heck are yéu doing," said Beth, frowning from a nearby table and grabbing for the umbrella lest I strike again. It all started innocently enough. We were taking it easy after breakfast during my recent holidays and I went over to the kitchen sink to rinse out a glass. Turned on the tap, sloshed the water around â€" and tossed the water not back in the sink, but all over the countertop. Some mornings I‘m about as sharp as butter Chronicle istration Number 5540 THAT‘S LIFE Pok Câ€"p_ * 478 Albert St., Water!00 @uas#®" + 50 Westmount Rd. N., Waterioo } Albert St., Waterioo g * 50 Westmount Rd. N.. Water|