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11. In fashion, you‘ll start looking for that classy, elegant look. Sexy‘s on the scrapheap. 12. You‘ll discover that knitting is an inalienable aspect of your daily existence, and that to go, even say two days without a project, will make you feel unworthy, or worse. So there you have it, the dirty dozen for the dirty 30. Naturally, until the trauma passes, you will do well to remember the old expression, "you‘ll only as old as you feel." I have my fingers crossed that your first question after reading this column is not "why, how old do you think I feel?" If it is, I have the fifth amendment close by. Just in case. Welcome to 30, dear. Isn‘t it such fun, already? PAGE 4 â€" WATERLOO CHRONICLE, WEDNESDAY, MAY 22, 1991 9. You‘ll become an authority on the prime of life, a topic that until tonight, you couldn‘t have given two hoots about. For instance, Thursday you will profess "a man‘s prime of life is about 18, but a woman, well now, a woman doesn‘t hit her peak until she‘s about 35 â€" so I‘ve got lots to look forward to." Why, yes you do. 10. One of the upsides of turning 30 is that you‘ll believe you‘re finally rid of all those teenage nuisances like skin blemishes. Of course, you‘ll come crashing back to reality about 5 p.m. the night of your next special occasion. 8. Relatives you‘ve known and loved for years will ask you how old you are this year and your response will be "why, how old do you think I look?" 7. By midâ€"summer, you‘ll agree that his and hers chaise lounges are a remarkable Father‘s Day idea. 6. Your favorite car, which used to be a Porsche, suddenly is a Caprice Classic. 5. For the first time in your life, you‘ll start noticing the flies at the picnic. By this time next year, you‘ll vow never to eat outside again. 2. You‘ll stop automatically throwing out the bulk mail life insurance pitches. 3. You‘ll stop going to selfâ€"serve gas stations. 4. No need to hunt for the TV Guide in the weekend paper. There is nothing good on the box before 8:30, which is when you‘ll hit the hay. Butdon‘t worry, you can tape Thirtysomeâ€" thing and watch it on Sunday afternoons. 1. When you take the kids to play in the park, they‘ll go for the swings, you‘ll find the nearest park bench. The little guy, the one who can‘t walk yet, don‘t worry, he‘ll find his own way up the slide ienss ol ? ols Alnintts tds it Ataians BC d c d 29?" No, the big 3â€"0. It marks the first time in our life together that we will share the same decade. I get the distinct impression I‘m enjoying the milestone slightly more than she is. 30. Oh, ha, ha, ha, ha. OK, it‘ll be a sore point for a couple days. I won‘t dwell on it, but [ feel it my duty to point out a few things that will change in Beth‘s life as of Thursday. "Just about," noted Beth helpfully. ‘"Nowhere near," I harrumphed. "In fact, I‘m not much older than the rest of you." The nerve of them. Anyway, I‘m reminded of the circumstance becaaaaause, tomorrow, Beth turns 30. No more "you say you‘re nash 2c uEce nisle, 1 m _ i : W ‘"Yeh," piped up another, "it‘s a really fun place, look, even Rick is enjoying himself." "What do you mean by that?" I barked, my dorsal fin standing on end. Embarrassed silence. "Well, uh, you know, this place is known for its young people, and you have to be what, close to Second Class Mail Registration Number Published every Wednesday by The Fairway Group Incorporated 215 Fairway Rd. S., Kitchener, Ont. May 22, 1991 There I was, blissfully savoring my Pacific pannedâ€"fried halibut at The Keg restaurant a couple of weeks back, when one of my dinner companions commented on what an enjoyable evening it was turning out to be. Waterloo Chronicle Why, don‘t we have such fun when others reach a milestone? THAT‘S LIFE Pick Ww