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Waterloo Chronicle (Waterloo, On1868), 8 Jun 1988, p. 10

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As a survivor of an incestuous relationship a woman learns to cope the best way she can, and often that is done by putting the memories as far from conscious thought as they can go until they are buried deep. Never wiped from memory, the childhood terror can manifest itself in many ways within adult women, explained Susan Neeb, a sexual abuse therapist with the Catholic Family Counselling Centre. These feelings might inâ€" clude physical problems such as sexual dysfuncâ€" tion or severe headaches, a persisting and undefinable depression, difficulties maintaining intimate relationships. As adults they may feel less than equal to men in their work environâ€" ment and they might be extremely overâ€"protecâ€" tive of their children. In their isolation and fear, women cope with incest the best way they know how, explains Neeb, who is coâ€"ordinating the centre‘s first group therapy program for incest survivors. For some women that means they will not rememâ€" ber the incest, having tucked it so deep into the recesses of their minds. The reckoning comes when, as adults, they try to make changes to Community +r T~aAm MOMe m "yiei hn se s es es Surviving the trauma of incest "Golf is the best tension reliever in the world. It‘s a great In a study by Leroy Getachell of the University of Illinois it game for guys who are too old for girls but who still want to _ has been shown that an average golfer walks only 37 per cent get into a trap (Bob Hope). of the playing time. The rest is spent standing (34 per cent) I don‘t think I can say my husband fits into this category _ 804 hitting and putting (29 per cent). So while walking can yet, but watching him play Arnold Palmer in the back yard, _ burn 334 calories per hour (moderate pace), playing golf for golf clubâ€"swinging ferociously, made me realize it was time _ O%€ hour will burn only 223 calories. In other words, "Golf is a once again for my annual golf column. good walk spoiled". (Mark Twain) . . Though T iten | . of the beneficts‘ As. part of the study, Getschell studied the metabolic, Pssn y oie e P ns m e clo maus thieg! the _ Cerdiovascular, muscular and motor fitness benefits of golf condl_tlomng exercises for golf, I‘d like to focus this time on the played 12 hours a week by middleâ€"aged men. He then walking aspect of the game. compared the results with two other groups â€" one that did no Most of the friendss or associates I‘ve met who play golf are _ regular exercise and one that did vigorous calesthenics and frustrated golfers. The challenge of swinging evenly, hitting _ running for a sevenâ€"month period (golfing season â€" April to the green and avoiding a swim, have golfers in a constant _ September). state of aggravation. However most golfers sum up their The results showed that golf provides a lower exercise frustrations with a comment similar to "At least I do a lot of _ benefit than the vigorous group. However as compared to the walking". Not so. inactive group, positive physiological benefits were recorded Susan Neeb, sexual abuse counselior at Catholic Family Counselling Centre, Childhood terror manifests itself in many ways Fitness Forum Kathy Hammond E. WEDNESDAY JUNE 8, 1988 isobei Lawson photo their lives and realize their distressing feelings were symptons of the trauma they experienced as youths. "They think they are crazy, ‘How wouldn‘t I remember that? " is what women say, exâ€" plained Neeb. "That‘s how they cope. That‘s why they are survivors. There‘s nothing really crazy about it. It‘s something really intelligent While some women do not remember that _ walking in," said Neeb. Women also have to trauma, others do. Some withhold the memories _ reconcile their feelings toward their mothers, to themselves unwilling to discuss it because of _ whom they often blame for not stopping the their feelings of guilt or fear that no one will _ abuse. believe them. They may have trouble trusting If it is a father inflicting the abuse then the to do," Neeb said in an interview. She emphaâ€" sized they are "survivors" not victims. As children they were victims, now they are survivors learning to understand how that victimization has affected their adult lives. Community isobel Lawson The debatable benefits of the game of golf others and have doubts about themselves. As adults they question why they allowed the situation to carry on, not realizing they could not have stopped it because they were young children. r Neeb‘s group is small with four women who range in age from early 20s to mid40s. They will meet over 12 weeks in two hours sessions. Group therapy is not for all women for varying reasons, explained Neeb, although she considers it the best form of treatment. As the therapist, she facilitates group discussions which centre on acknowledging the abuse and relinquishing responsibility for the abuse. Often they feel it is their fault, she explained. Recognizing and expressing emotions and feelings of guilt, fear, shame and anger is important. Women share a sense of a loss of childhood. ‘"They should have been little girls in bed with dolls and not worrying about some man walking in," said Neeb. Women also have to reconcile their feelings toward their mothers, whom they often blame for not stopping the You can of course increase your fitness level while golfing. Play 18 holes ... play them twice! You could burn about 1,000 calories per 18â€"hole course and tack about two miles (per course) on your legs. If you want to strengthen your muscles, carry your golf bag. â€" weight control, overall body strength and leg strength, and strength increases per body weight when measured by the dynametric strength test. No increases or differences were found in individual muscle strength or flexibility. Getting back to the walking ... Some improvement was noted (as compared with the inactive group) when the golfers were tested on a walking treadmill. They had significant improvements in pulmonary ventiliation, lower respiratory results and a lower heart rate. (Keep in mind that these golfers were on the course 12 hours each week. If you only spend an hour or two each week the fitness factors would be reduced.) "You can‘t go back and change it. You don‘t want to close your eyes and say it never happened," explained Neeb. "It‘s the knowledge that what has happened is done and they‘re not the bad ones." Neeb, who is on a oneâ€"year contract, begins another group therapy program beginning midâ€" It‘s important group members develop a sense of trust for one another, where they can share intimate feelings they might not have discussed with anyone else. They also realize they are not suffering alone, said Neeb, a Masters of Social Work graduate from Wilfrid Laurier Universiâ€" mother is often on the receiving end of abuse herself and she does not know what to do. "The goal is not necessarily to forgive but maybe to understand where the mother was coming from," explained Neeb. ‘"When you‘re working with women that have been sexually abused you talk about sexual abuse but it‘s not like you‘re constantly talking about that all the time. You‘re talking about how it‘s affected your life."

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