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»AGE 6 â€" WATERLOO CHRONICLE, WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 19, 1986 second Class Mail Registration Number 5540 Get it â€" together The citizens of this fair city must be wondering, what with all the recent media reports and mounting group and individual criticism, whether Waterloo isn‘t going co hell in a hand basket. Well, be assured, it isn‘t. The city is experiencing growing pains. But they are neither bad nor unexpected when a growing metropolis traverses the middle ground bridging tradition and progress. We are in such a transition now, and what is essential is that we blend past success and current strength with visions for the future, to make Waterloo an admired and envied municipal showecase. And so we have futures committees, and economc mpact studies, and other governmentâ€"sponsored reports. But lately, we also have planned public f{orums, and group and individual crusades supplying alternate, if not outright dissenting, voices. We have city officials thumping their chests over a potentially recordâ€"smashing year in economic terms, and cultural heads slamming the city for virtually ignoring the cultural and arts aspect in planning and policy deciâ€" sionâ€"making. We have a government that justifiably stands proud of its record in less glamorous arenas (tax assessment, industrial expansion), and critics who howl long and loud that it is about time arts, entertainment and other community services receive equal billing. It is no secret the city has been high on coâ€"operative ventures in that respectâ€"now its head is being demanded on a plate for failing to stand on its own two feet. Before we start insisting that heads roll, however, city officials should be given the opportunity to absorb the constructive criticism and then use the input to help shape future decisionâ€"making. Perhaps city strategy is too heavyâ€"handed towards economics. Perhaps we do need a worldâ€"class swimming pool, arts facilities, library, focus on seniors and other features to match our commitment to finance. Perhaps the voices of dissent are right, that without Kitchener or the universities, we‘re nothing but a oneâ€"horse town, and that now isthe time to change that image. Much of the recent criticism of our city and its policies warrants careful consideration, and our municipal officials would do well to pay attention to the sounds of the oncoming trains. â€" o Given that, wouldn‘t a lot more progress be made if all parties interested in, and committed to, making this a better place to live, would sit down together in the spirit of coâ€"operation and fully utilize their many talents to collectively achieve that goal? Structually, that strategy may already be in place. Spiritually, there is much work to be done. Letters welcome Address all correspondence to Waterioo office, 45 Erb St. E., Waterloo, Ont. N2J 1L7. Telephone 886â€"2830, News and Sports line 886â€"3021. Waterlo6 Chronicle office is located in the Haney, White law office building (rear entrance, upper floor). Parking at the rear of the building. Open Monday to Friday 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Publisher: Paul Winkler Waterloo Chronicle is published every Wednesday by Fairway Press, a division of JEMCOM Inc., owner. Publishing address 225 Fairway Rd. S., Kitchener, Ont. Display Advertising: Helen Smiley, Paula Hummel, Gerry Mattice Classified Advertising: Marie Kapshey Managing Editor: Rick Campbell Sales Manager: Bill Karges Circulation Manager: Greg Cassidy Senior reporter: Melodee Martinuk Reporters: Mark Bryson (news) Circulation: June Toushan, Jerry Fischer Typesetting and Composing: Fairway Press Richard O‘Brien (sports) 105 ervas a lrres a1108 an Coue established 1854 I never batted an eyelash when I heard it was going on in New York. And when fad fiends in California jumped on the bandwagon, well, no surprise there either. But when I tuned in to the national news the other night, I just about cacked. They are doing it in Winnipeg. Singles Night at the Grocery Store. In Winnipeg. Worse, it is wildly successful, according to the news report. In Winnipeg. Excuuuuse me for a minute while I stick this finger down my throat. Being married for almost more years than I can remember (two), I find the idea of singles night at the local groceteria to be tacky, tacky, tacky. Whatever happened to the romantic idea of wheeling your cart around the end aisle and bumping into the man or woman of your dreams. Accidentally. Soon it will become inevitable, if this trend is allowed to continue. Brutal. But far be it from me to stand in the way of modern methods. It is obviously great fun for those who partake, as singles in the Twin Cities will soon likely find out. If they have the fad in Winnipeg, for crying out loud, can Kâ€"W be far behind? Of course we‘ll need new names for all the stores. Like Mr. and Mrs. Grocer, Zehrs Are Us, Dutch Boy and Girl. And with that, we‘ll need all new definitions for grocery words and phrases so the singles (mostly Yuppies who otherwise would view grocery shopping as a menial exercise best left to the hired help) will be able to make their way around the stores without getting lost. Here, let me do my part. For those of you who plan to run, not walk, to the next announced Singles Night at the Grocery Store, take this handy glossary of terms with you. And enjoy. Note that, on advice from those who have fallen before you, the following terms are not to be employed under any circumstances in any singles‘ conversation: That being said, the following have become common usage among grocery store singles and it would be best to at least have a working knowledge of their definitions. Grapefruits, coconuts, tomatoes, cucumbers, bananas, salami, sausage, breasts, thighs, drumâ€" sticks, rump roast. |_____ _ _ _ _ Down the aisle: don‘t panic singles, this has nothing to do with marriage or commitment, it is where you go to stock up on the item you are looking for. _ Freezer burn: no silly, this is not the exposed â€"It is written "It‘s the first night of our tour. And it‘s snowing. I hate snow. We‘re going to sing about the summertime." Aisle say Rick Campbell Chronicle Editor Honeymoon Suite lead singer Johnnie Dee at a concert last week at Super Skate Seven â€" SEE PAGE 24. frozen part of meat. It is spending a lot of money on dinner for a date who won‘t even offer you a good night kiss. _ Pot roast: this is not a cut of beef, it is five women standing at the deli counter cutting up a single guy over the size of his stomach. _ Produce department: this is where you either make it, or break it. Balogna: not a line of cold cuts, but merely any corny line. Bag boy: last single guy to pick up a woman. Bonus buy: agreeing to a date with a gorgeous hunk, then finding out that‘s his red Porsche in the parcel pickâ€"up line. Mango: no, it‘s not a tropical fruit, singles are to use it in the expression "hey baby. don‘t forget, it takes two to mango."‘ _ Sherbet: if you‘re a cool dude or a hot number, it‘s a sherbet you won‘t be seen at singles night. Notions: no, it‘s not the aisle with the small, useful items, but the fantasies in the small, useless minds of nerds who figure that pushing a shopping cart will make them irresistible to Cybill Shepherd lookalikes. Skim: skimming the store means checking out all the tomatoes and rump roasts (oops) before offering rain checks or agreeing that it takes two to mango. Homo: no discrimination here. Singles are sinâ€" gles. Scales: to weigh veggies? To weight meat? Bimbo. Anyone knows a singles night scale goes from one to 10, and that there is an inverse relationship between the score you give someone and the chance you have of dating him/her. Checkâ€"out: most folks do this upon ieaving a grocery store. Singles do it upon entering a grocery store. s â€" â€" 5 â€" Two percent: the chance aforementioned nerds have of getting any date on singles night. Butcher: if a nearby single guy brags, "I can wow any darling in the place‘‘ you can his bluff by replying "right, Jazz, well if that‘s the case why don‘t you butcher money where your mouth is." Lettuce: restricted to single cool dudes only, who are often heard to say, "hey sugar, lettuce blow this popstand, what you say?" I agree. Lettuce. Rain check: most folks take these when they want to come back for more of a hot item. Singles give these when they want to get away from a notâ€"soâ€"hot item.