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On the lookout: If you want to succeed, think negatively. That‘s the advice of Dr. Joyce Brothers, who told a Waterioo audience Sunday that people who always anticipate the worst that can occur, are also those best 130th Year No. 8 Wednesday, February 20, 1985 Waterioo, Ontario 25 cents at the Newstand prepared to deal with the curves life throws. *Those who succeed think Murphy (originator of the Leo Ricketts of Westmount Rd. N. in Waterioo does all his shopping at Westmount Place‘s Mr. Grocer, and on last week‘s list was a Grocery Giveaway lottery ticket to help support Anselma House. Mr. Grocer owner Jim Morris made sure Leo got proper delivery of his ticket. Rick Campbell photo Rick Campbell Chronicle Staff There‘s one thing about local lottery playersâ€"they sure know how to procrastiâ€" Just prior to Christmas, Big Sisters‘ Dream House draw appeared doomed to certain failureâ€"until a lastâ€"minute push brought more than enough buyers out of the woodâ€" work to scoop up the available tickets. Now, Anselma House‘s Grocery Giveaway, one of the best ‘"win‘"‘ chance lotteries going, finds itself in the same predicament. The sellers are out there, but apparently the buyers are once again waiting for the last minute before forking over the $10 for a chance at 50 weekly draws, each which will produce a $100 grocery winner at Jim Morris® Mr. Grocer in Westmount Place. QOnly 2,000 tickets will be sold for the draw, according to Anselma fundraising coâ€"ordinaâ€" tor Katherine McKie, and each has 50 chances to win the $100 weekly voucher, making the cost of the ticket 20 cents per draw. At press time, just under half had been Anselma push on for Grocery Giveaway draw h purchased. In attempting to raise the money for Anselma House, a shelter for victims of family violence, McKie indicated that the proceeds will be split between direct food and supply necessities for the shelter, and general operating costs. Anselma‘s budget for 1985 is $198,000 of which $55,000 is to be raised through local fundraising. That means the Grocery Giveaway lottery represents about oneâ€"third of local fundraising, and needless to say, organizers are hoping the community gets behind the spirit of the drawâ€"quickly. Tickets throughout the selling period have been available at Mr. Grocer, where Morris has donated the grocery prizes. Anselma is also staffing a booth at Westmount Place each Saturday until March 2, and March 1â€"2 Anselma will also have a booth at Fairview Park Mail to sell tickets. « Draws will be held each Thursday beginâ€" ning March 7, and lottery lovers take noteâ€"winning tickets ailso go back in the draw so the chance of being a multiple winner is a distinct possibility. old maxim, anything that can go wrong, will) was an optimist," said Brothers. People who always imagine the worst that can happen prepare solutions and alternate courses of action, and therefore "don‘t wind up on success, each person has to define for themselves what In Kâ€"W to address the Kâ€"W Zonta Club‘s annual More for Women conference, Brothers said that in looking for , Anticipating the worstâ€"can actually a â€" help us cope: Dr. Joyce Brothers Pat Arbuckie Chronicle Stafft Early detection of highâ€"risk families, even before the newborn infant goes home from the hospiâ€" tal, is the most effective way of putting an end to the cycle of sexual and physical abuse of children, said Dr. Ken Finkel, a Hamilton pediatrician and noted expert on child abuse. Finke! was speaking at the Waterlooâ€"Wellington Child Abuse Conference Friday at Grand River collegiate. It was sponsored by the Midâ€"western Branch of the Ontario Association of Professionâ€" al Social Workers. "If you spot highâ€"risk families early, if you intervene with eduâ€" cational and emotional support, it can be effective," he said. Finkel believes that current methods of diagnosing and treatâ€" ing abuse victims, including famiâ€" ly counselling and parenting courses, are virtually ineffective because they approach the probâ€" lem too late, when patterns of abuse have already been set. ‘‘There is no evidence that all the things we do are effective because we are applying them to people who cannot be helped," he said. Pessimistic that the behavior of many ‘"hardâ€"core abusers" can be changed; by current treatment methods, Finkel said he recomâ€" mends removing young children from the family situation enâ€" tirely. He also questioned the wisdom of childproofing, whereby parents teach their children to beware of strangers and to recognize potenâ€" tially dangerous situations beâ€" cause it "makes sixâ€"yearâ€"olds responsible for ‘their own protecâ€" The Hamilten pediatrician disâ€" agrees with this method because it ignores the fact that most child abusers are known to the victim and are therefore in a position of power over him/her. . _ "It‘s a terrible thing to say that‘s the best we can do," he child protection workers are doing a better job of spotting child abuse cases, Finkel warned that victims of emotional abuse, which Early detection key to stopping abuse of children they want and not be governed by society‘s views. ' "If you are going to talk about success, you have to talk about success in your own definition," the rengwned American psychologist and television personality said, noting that some people wish for fame, others fortune and still some want the satisfaction that comes from he feels is "the commonest and most damaging form of child abuse that exists," are going unnoticed because they carry no visible bruises or scars. *‘Many children are seriously abused without ever having a hand laid on them, without ever being sexually exploited," he exâ€" plained, adding that being told you are not worth much every day can be damaging to a person‘s selfâ€"image. _ _ _ o People with little selfâ€"confiâ€" dence and low selfâ€"esteem are easily exploited and usually end up abusing their own children because these are the parenting skills they have learned, Finkel said. He added that a look at the social histories of prisoners in Canadian penitentiaries show that most were victims of some form of child abuse. This month‘s Voluntary Paid circulation draw was a "high point‘‘ of the winter for two lucky readers. Six winners of the Janâ€" uary draw each receive dinner for two ($50 value) at Spirits Restauâ€" rant at The Seagram Museum â€" and two of our winners, K. Goldsworthy and B. Erneweig, live on Highpoint Ave. g Other winners were E. Freiheit of Black Oak Cres., J. Whitton of Ezra Ave., B. Young of Coleridge PL, and M. Sherman of Braeside Ave. 8 Carriers who sold winning tickâ€" ets to pick of 315 each were Jennifer Duggan, Kim Emmerâ€" son, Kris Boehmer, Jason Ernst and Perry Newman. Readers are reminded that carâ€" riets will be collecting subscripâ€" tions for February‘s draw beginâ€" ning next Wednesday, Feb. 27. The draw will be for six Complete Treat packages for two (§$52 value) which includes dinner at Chances R restaurant followed by a performance by Foolsfire at UW Humanities Theatre March 22. The draw will be made March 15. Flying high (Continued on page 4) (Continued on page 3)