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PAGE 6 - WATERLOO CHRONICLE, WEDNESDAY.APR|L 18, 1984 Second Class Mail Registration Number 5540 Oh, no. It seems like just yesterday in this very space we were defending the government's right to set up a royal commission on the economic prospects in this country. More to the point, we argued in support of the seemingly outrageous salaries paid those to create said report. Gulp. _ -. ___ .I " ‘10 “.2II1.._ A: :6n “my. It appears after spending 17 months and $10 million of its $22 million budget foxtrotting across the country getting a pulse on the situation, the royal commission headed by “$800 a day" Donald Macdonald has released an interim report that packs less of a punch than a Toronto Maple Leaf powerplay. And that's pretty bad. - . . . . I . 4,,:_M_.I h. “no“-.. thn vvvvv-r-ua- ----- ___-'-- -- r» v". Critics of the report, which is designed to outline the commission's progress to date, railed long and loud after its release at a Toronto news conference Monday, blasting it as meaningless, without direction, and lacking absolutely any relevant material. Girrraairii" wire service outlines of the report are accurate, at this stage the Macdonald commission looms a featherweight in terms of irisightful impact. We don't need to pay that kind of money to be told that as a nation we face a change in direction, or that providing jobs for the unemployed must be a major aim of government policy, or that controlling wages and prices is among the close to 60 challenges and choices we face. Hardly heady stuff. Bad enough had a voluntary agency come up with such rudimentary road apples. But Lilla is a group of supposedly highly-intellectual individuals who are being paid not only for what they do, but what they know. Politician-tur-ned-commentator Stephen Lewis best summed up the preliminary report. He suggested the government could have saved us this enormous waste of tax dollars by hiring an energetic third-years economics student, paid him/her $800 flat-rate with unlimited phone use, and still received much more for its money than the Macdonald commission has given us. Few and far between are the voices that dismiss Lewis's comment as sheer folly. Let us hope the Macdonald stretch drive makes our wager somewhat more justified. Heard something on the street the other day that really tickled my funnybone, Just a.» I walked past these two little boys. about eight years old. I heard om' say" "If you gotta div. why go to cullege"" So help me. that's what he said I don't know whether they were talking about reincar nation or the increase In university fees. but it shook mv rigid Why go to rout-go. indeed? Especially if ya gotta div I Went to college And went and went and went I started right aftvr high school, and what with one thing and another, I was a married man with a child by the timv I got a degree, nine years later. Nobody can tell m" you have to go to college to get into that predicament. The first year I was there, I learned three things. One was how to shoot a pretty fair game of pea pool The second was how to say “I love you" in Portuguese so I could converse with a babe I met from Brazil, (I think it goes "Eu te amo"). The third was that I wasn't going to pass my exams. so, with a sudden burst of patriotism, I joined the Air Force just before exam time. published every Wednesday by Fairway Press, a division of Kitchener-Waterloo Record Ltd., owner 225 Fairway Rd.S., Kitchener, Ont. Really? Watedoo Chvomcle omce ttb loomed on the Hamel, Haney and Whne Law tMttce Budding (rear erttraoce, nope: Hoot) Partong al the rear ot the building Open Monday to Fnday 9 00 a m l0 5 00 p m address correspondence lo Waterloo omce " Erb St E . Waterloo. Ortt NZJ IL7, telephom' m 2x30 Returning after the war, I was a lot older. sadder and wiser I was determined to get down to business. and make every minute count It was during this period of intense study that l leamed some things that have stood me In good stead during the years since The first was hos lo sleep during a lecture. with my eyes open This has proved invaluable at church. political meetings. and the many after-dinner speeches inflicted cm a weekly editor This period also gave me my first lesson in simple economics 1 had quite a bankroll when l was discharged. My pay had built up while I was behind the barbed wire Well. sir, within a few months I had discovered that you cannot live indefin ilely on your capital Within a year I had learned that two absolutely cannot live as cheaply as one, unless one of them doesn't eat. Despite the fact that all l picked up at college was a family and a few bad habits, I would strongly recommend it to any young person You'll be amazed at how quickly the learning seeps into you. The very first time you‘re on holidays. you‘ll Publisher: Paul Winkler Manager: Bill Karges Editor: Rick Campbell College try Bill Smiley Syndicated columnist established 1 854 "ICs attitudinal when ; set' how far you‘ve outdistanced the folks at home on the farm. Why, your Dad probably won't even know the names of the French romantic poets, And your mother. who has been trying to give you the impression that she knows more than you. won't even be able to discuss intelligently the basic causes behind the French revolu lion Your home-town girl friend will swoon with delight as you puff your new pipe with an air and tell her emphatically that Schopenhauer's philosophy puts women in their proper place - mere vessels (or the perpetuation of the rave Trouble is nowadays. going to college is becoming so expensive that about the only way you can get there is to have rich parents. and make such a hellion of yourself around town that they'll be glad to ship you off for four years. If your parents aren't rich. next best thing is to look over your elderly uncles and aunts» Find one who's a little shaky on the pins or has a bad heart. Take out a large insurance policy on auntie. with yourself as the benetlciary. Some day " is written you can 'thing' people. you can do violence and it doesn't bother you." when qhe's up on the ladder. painting the kitchen ceiling. blow up a paperbag and burst it. If this doesrt't do the trick. get her to go for a walk with you along the edge of a cliff If she's too nimble. and doesn't go over when you trip her. you'll have to figure something out for yourself Perhaps the richest reward of those college years is the wonderful friendships you'll make, one fellow I knew wr) well at college is a big stain and telvvision star now But do you think hv's forgotten his old friends? Not a bit of it When I was in Toronto last fall. I went around to we him backstage om- night He shook hands with me. pleased as punch You‘d think a trig, important chap like that wouldn't have time to bother with a small-town editor Not him, And he's going to pay me back that $25 he borrowed just as soon as he gets that big Broadway role. He even gave me his autograph. without me having to ask That's the sort of real. lusting friendships you build in college, -iiriiseue kid -who started all this reminiscence was really saying: “If ya want: pie. I'd go to Mollie's.“ Jig 4011 “are? NOW,H0w THE HECK AM T 'buiT05E TO r HlVE Te ONE! CCAVE chairman Joan de New speaking on violent entertainment images. - SEE PAGE 5