The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

PAGE 6 â€" WATERLOO CHRONICLE, WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 28, 1983 â€" Second Class Mail Registration Number 5540 Some old fogies get all het up every year, and writing letters to the editor, deploring the increasing commercialism of Christmas. I used to do this when I was a young fogie, but I‘ve quit. What‘s the difference? Well, a young fogie gets all upset about things that should upset only old fogies. As he gets older, he really doesn‘t give a diddle. They can play ‘"Rudoiph the Redâ€"Nosed Reinâ€" deer‘‘ on the first of July, and it doesn‘t bother him. The following is a reprint of Bill Smiley‘s Christmas 1981 column. An old fogie, on the other hand, is a young fogie who has molded his ideas early, and left them there to moulder. Or increased the rigidity of his early opinions until they are molded in iron. He likes ‘"I‘m Dreaming of a White Christmas‘", but doesn‘t want it played until there is some snow, and Christmas is imminent (not eminent, as my students insist). I prefer to be a middle fogie. This is a person who listens to young fogies, old fogies, nods solemnly in agreement, and wishes they had buried ‘"White Christâ€" mas‘‘ with Bing Crosby, its perpetrator. In other words, the young fogie dances in the latest frenetic style, because he doesn‘t want to be called an old fogie. But he thinks it is decadent. He‘d like the return of the waltz and the schottische. While an old fogie shakes his head at the Waterworks Theatre artistic director Linda Carson seems to be entangled in a web of bureaucratic red tape, a Catchâ€"22 situation to beat all Catchâ€"22s, in her efforts to establish a live theatre in Waterloo‘s core area. Carson announced today that the planned April opening of the theatre has to be postponed at least six months because approval of a federal grant application has been delayed "‘"several months‘‘ until the province decides whether it wants to help fund the project. As well, she says the situation has been further complicated by the fact that local corporations have been "‘"guarded‘" in their response to her‘initial fundraising efforts, saying that they‘ll decide after she hears back from the two levels of government. Carson needs $340,000 to get the theatre off the ground, and now, half a year since she unveiled plans for Waterworks, all she has got is moral support, and a few maybes when it comes to money. Not too encouraging. The merits of the Waterworks project are many and not to be overlooked. The theatre would have a positive impact on city efforts to encourage core revitalization and would be a major attraction in current efforts to increase Waterloo‘s share of the tourist dollar. The bottom line is that if it opens, Waterworks will draw people into the city, and these people mean dollars spent in restaurants and shops, creating jobs and strengthening Waterloo‘s economy. Given all this, it is to be hoped that Carson doesn‘t start to lose the enthusiasm which has kept her going this far. Perhaps it‘s time for community and business leaders to decide whether they want the theatre in Waterloo, and if the answer is yes, to provide the support Carson needs to make Waterworks Theatre a reality. Waterworks stalled BILL SMILEY published every Wednesday by Fairway Press, a division of Kitchenerâ€"Waterioo Record Ltd., owner 225 Fairway Rd.S., Kitchener, Ont. Waterioo Chronicle office is located in the Harper . Haney and White Law Office Building (rear entrance, upper floor). Parking at the rear of the building. Open Monday to Friday, 9:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. address correspandence to Waterioo office: 45 Erb St. E., Waterioo, Ont. N2J 11.7, telephone 886â€"2830 modern, openly sexual dancing, knows the dancers are all going to the hot place, and would like to see the return of the waltz and the schottische (polka, what have you? ). o _ The middle fogie says, "Jeez, there but for the grace of God, go I.‘‘ Or, ‘"Holey ole moley, I wish my arthritis would ease up. I‘d love to try it, especially with that girl who‘s just kick off her shoes and displayed her navel." He‘d like the return of the waltz, but never learned to count past two in the oneâ€"twoâ€"three of the waltz, and gets tangled up, and falls on his face, in a fast polka or schottische. This brilliant analogy, gentle reader, if you are still there, represents my attitude toward the commercialization of Christâ€" mas. I can turn off the commercials and ignore the town‘s brave decorations. Or I can crab when they commence, or are erected (sorry, that‘s a dirty word now). . As a middle fogie, 1 choose to shut out the carois that begin Nov. 1st, ignore the drooping angels on the town decorations that were erected (there it }s again) on Nov. 8Sth, and merely set my teeth, grit them a bit, and try to get through the Or 1 can say, ‘‘Cheeze ‘n rice, I wish I were back in the business again, pulling in all those dollars that should be going for food and fuel." Publisher: Paul Winkler established 1854 Thoughts from an old fogie **You‘ve got to live happy to live long. You have to enjoy what you‘re doing." Christmas season, bearing in mind that the Minister of Finance wants a little piece of every action going on in town, and across the country. The aforementioned gentleman, if you‘ll pardon the euphemism, after preaching a budget of equity and restraint, went out to lunch with a few of his ilk, and ran up a lunch bill of between $600 and $2,000, depending on the version you read. That, to me, is the real Christmas spirit. His boss, King Pierre the First, has expressed similar sentiments. "If they can‘t afford filet mignon, let them eat boiled sumac bushes.‘" Very tasty, by the way, and a true national dish, along with pumpkin soup. I don‘t really know where I‘m going with this column, but I have to live up to the billing another teacher gave mw this week, after he‘d armâ€"twisted me into talking to his creative writing club: *‘Wednesday afternoon, we are going"to have a seminar on writing, headed by Bill Smiley, former reporter, editor, publisher, and author of a syndicated column that appears in more than 150 papers across Canada."‘ It sounded great. Like those November Christmas carols. But I cannot say, ‘‘That‘s a lot of crap, John."‘ Little do the kids know that I was a editor because nobody else wanted to take It is written because z< § <â€"_ *~*~ &Â¥ TB papers, or that | am neilther en noOf famous. However, the show must go on, whether it‘s ‘"Good King Wenceslaus‘ in Noâ€" vember, or yours truly talking a group of youngsters into adopting the glamorous life of journalism, at 60 hours a week, and basic pay a little below unemployment inâ€" surance. the blame; that I was a publisher only because I owed half of a $30,000 mortgage; and that I am a household word across Canada, almost inevitably preceded by the prefix "bull". My colleague didn‘t mention that I wrote stories about nothing happening in town that week, just to fill up a hole on the front page; that I infuriated merchants and township reeves and little old ladies, and had to bear the brunt; that I personally carried the newspapers to the post office in bags weighing about 280 pounds; that I helped stamp and roll up the outâ€"ofâ€"town But I must admit, the Christmas spirit sort of grabs you, whether it‘s by the pocket-zok(vr&e short and curlyâ€" s**~ Just this week, I wrote a letter of recommendation for a student. If someâ€" body checked it out, 1 would be on the stand for perjury, mopery and gawk. But, what the heck, a commercial is a commerâ€" éi;l_.' ;v'entiough it‘s a tissue of lies, halfâ€"truths and exaggeration. Harmony Lunch owner Harry Marks discussing why he delays plans for retirement or that I am neither rich nor â€"SEE PAGE 5