The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

PAGE 6 â€" WATERLOO CHRONICLE, WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 2, 1983 Second Class Mail Registration Number 5540 Is everyone as "pumped up‘"‘ as we are about Tuesday‘s monumental court decision which effectively gave mandaâ€" tory metric measure the proverbial knee in the groin? Charges against Metro Toronto service stations Jack Halpert and Ray Christiansen for selling gasoline by the gallon were unceremoniously tossed out by provincial court judge William Ross. His ruling sets a highâ€"profile precedent that conceivably could have lasting effects on the federal government‘s helterâ€"skelter attempt to convert the country to metric â€" which few of us seem to want, anyway. Are you frozen with terror, these days? You‘re not? Then wake up, you vegetable. You‘re supposed to be. Haven‘t you noticed the relentless camâ€" paign to scare the living daylights out of us ordinary souls? There seems to be a conspiracy, in the communications media, to put you and me and our wives and kids into a perpetual state of fear. Now before all you metric types get your backs up, no one here (save for the odd Bill Domm or two) is advocating the wholesale scrapping of the metric system. Advertising is the most prevalent, though not the most powerful, weapon of the scaremongers. It is suggested that if we have greasy hair or a greasy sink, we‘re sunk; that if we don‘t use a certain soap, we stink;, that if we don‘t drink a man‘s beer, we‘re a bunch of youâ€"knowâ€" whats. Well, all this is enough to set up a certain nervous tension in the ordinary amiable chap. What man wants to admit he‘s a failure because he can‘t rush out to his friendly neighborhood dealer and snap up an allâ€"new Super Aurora Borealis Shooting Star Sedan, with safety belts? Or has danâ€" What Halpert and Christiansen were fighting for was the public‘s right to choose between imperial and metric, which over a period of time would in itself establish which of the two is more popular. They merely acted on the wishes of their clientele, who preferred the choice. Ross was scathing in his attack on the manner in which the gas operators were hounded by federal inspectors. He labelled the sealing of pumps at the stations ‘"*Draconian‘" and contrary to the principles of natural justice and the presumption of innocence. No kidding! What this country needs is more Jack Halperts and Ray Christiansens â€" And Judge William Rosses. This is much, much more than a win for the Davids over the Goliaths. That it is a precedent establishes the thinking that even if Ross‘s decision should be reversed down the line, the entire process of forced metrification remains on shaky ground at best. _â€" There is no black or white in the arguments for or against conversion. Both sides have legitimate stands. But, as Judge William Ross correctly ruled, the presumpâ€" tion of guilt â€" especially relative to this country‘s fledgling Charter of Rights, flies in the face of true democracy. Allow freedom of choice â€" and majority will inevitably rule. That‘s the way it is supposed to be, isn‘t it? What a gas BILL SMILEY published every Wednesday by Fairway Press, a division of Kitchenerâ€"Waterioo Record Ltd., owner 225 Fairway Rd.S., Kitchener, Ont. Waterioo Chronicle office is located in the Harper, Haney and White Law Office Building (rear entrance, upper floor). Parking at the rear of the building. Open Monday to Friday, 9:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. address correspondence to Waterioo office: 45 Erb St. E., Waterioo, Ont. N2J 11.7, telephone 886â€"2830 But this is for the morons. You know, all the people who don‘t read this column. If they want to wind up with acid stomach, upset nerves, migraine headaches and irregularity, as constipation is now known, serves them right. Anybody who is frightâ€" ened by that kind of advertising deserves it. Every time 1 pick up, leaf through, or switch on one of these media, somebody is trying to frighten the wits out of me about something. It‘s a bit hard for a fellow to cope with. Black headlines or graphic pictures suggest that I‘m supposed to be shaken rigid about Communists and cancer; birth But it is not on the humble commercialâ€" watcher that the big guns of the horrorâ€" brigade are trained. It is on the serious readerâ€"viewer. They have moved, lock, stock and frightfuls, into the newspaper, magazine, book and "serious‘"‘ TV field. Publisher: Paul Winkler Manager: Bill Karges Editor: Rick Campbell established 1854 ‘‘I‘ve got a dentist appointment, got to have my car checked, and I became a father two and a half months ago, so there‘s always lots of paperwork whether it‘s business at hand or disposable diapers." % Terror tales Sometime during the day, I‘m supposed to be whimpering in a corner because of: highâ€"priced funerals; the computer, which is going to put me out of a job; the unfulfilled housewife; and all that leisure time I‘m going to have next year, when automation takes over. You‘ll notice I haven‘t even mentioned nuclear fission, which is old hat, nor the squirrels in my attic who, at this moment, according to an article, are chewing my wiring to start a fire in which we‘ll be cremated, and do we have enough insurance? sensible and mean, they‘d all go to bed and sensible and mean, theu All go to pull the covers over r heads. control and bingo; high school dropâ€"outs and homosexualism. Simultaneously, I‘m supposed to be stricken by integration and insulation. If I‘m not in favor of the former, there‘ll be a terrible bloodâ€"bath. If I‘m agin the latter, my heating bill will soar. If people weren‘t basically so tough, It is written comedy quartet‘s hectic schedule. â€"SEE PAGE 16 Peter Wildman of the Frantics discussing the Leisure Time â€" be happy to have a chance to sit on your butt. Unfulfilled Housewives â€" fill them. Population Explosion â€" see RBirth Conâ€" trol; also Nuclear Fission. ately, we‘re as sensitive as an old rubber boot. But, in case the scareâ€"distributors are bothering you, let me give you a formula that is guaranteed to steady the nerves. One thing at a time. The Computer â€" so who wanted a job in the first place? Communists â€" most of us are twice as scared of our wives as we are of the Red menace. Juvenile Delinquents â€" hit them on the head. Hard. Cancer â€" you want to live forever? Creeping Socialism â€" better than the galloping type. Highâ€"Priced Funerals â€" you don‘t have And so on.