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Second Class Mail Registration Number 5540 Cheer up! You‘re alive, aren‘t you? As we sail dauntlessly (or creep carefully) into 1983, being alive is the name of the game. Millions and millions aren‘t you know. _ Think of your dead friends, and even more deeply, of your dead enemies. This should cheer you up. o _ Your dead friends, relatives, former mistresses, bosom companions who are planted are flitting about in Elysium, pinching the bottoms of succuli and incubi, and slugging down the amprosia. Your enemies, rot them, are shovelling coal as fast as they can. And serves them right. Imagine the chagrin of a wifeâ€"beater when his assistant, a mere embezzler, doesn‘t get up there with his wheelâ€"barrow of coal, and Old Nick nods, and Beelzebub gives the wifeâ€"beater six licks on his burning bum. So that‘s all settled. Here you are, alive and well except for your arthritis, acne, heart murmurs and knotted bowels, and you‘re afraid to face angtber year. _ _ It was more than coincidental that the final official event of the 125th anniversary celebrations of this city should focus on the contributions of unsung heroes. _ In fact, it was calculated and, yes likely sentimental strategy that quite rightly resulted in a goodly share of verbal bouquets and backslapping. . â€" â€" â€" Last Thursday the city of Waterloo and 125th committee paid homage to the superb contributions of workers and citizens in a partyâ€"like atmosphere that effervesced with civic pride. As it was pointed out at the gathering, the success of the yearâ€"long celebrations would not have been possible without the financial backing of city business and industry, sectors that were publicly thanked in late November by city council for their contributions. , _ Best way to face another year is calmly, secure in the knowledge that it won‘t be annd hut couldn‘t be worse than last year. Maybe a nuclear war will start, but you still have to put out the garbage. Maybe Thursday‘s was a thank you tribute of a different kind however, in that it recognized those essential ingredients of individual sacrifice and enthusiastic volunteerism. As 125th chairman Bruce Lumsden pointed out, the city was often called upon by his committee to perform tasks above and beyond the call of duty. In that respect, it was heartâ€"warming to see so many of those foot soldiers present; likewise council itself and Mayor Marjorie Carroll were on the deserving end of accolades for the hours and dedicated efforts they put forth to make the year so successful. Many times staring failure in the face, sacrificing free weekends, holidays and leisure time to make an event work, doing so with the sole satisfaction of contributing to the civic pride of our fair city, they, the doers, stood tallest in the saddle. All year long. , And in the end, no group Thursday was more deserving of recognition than the various committee chairmen and members, the chiefs and indians of the entire powâ€"wow. . It was a crowded centre stage Thursday. Just as we always knew it would be. WATERLOO CHRONICLE, WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 2, 1983 BILL F SMILEY | The final thankâ€"you published every Wednesday by Fairway Press, a division of Kitchenerâ€"Waterloo Record Ltd., owner 225 Fairway Rd.S., Kitchener, Ont. Waterioo Chronicle office is located in the Harper, Haney and White Law Office Building (rear entrance, upper floor) Parking at the rear ot the building. Open Monday to Friday, 9:00 a m. to 5:00 p.m address correspondence to Waterioo office: 45 Erb St. E.. Waterioo, Ont. N2J 1L7, telephone 886â€"2830 you‘ve lost your job, and there is no garbage, because you‘ve eaten every can, bottle and carton. Maybe you‘ll lose a loved one, and think your grief is as deep as the ocean, but then catch yourself picking your nose or smelling your armâ€" pits. â€" o Whatever the new year brings, we can be certain about a few things: more taxes, parents/kids who don‘t understand you; an increase in the cost of living; emanaâ€" tions of hot air and no light from Ottawa; teeth growing browner; hair growing scantier; and, as always, constipation, whether physical or mental or emotional. But that‘s just living. It happened to the Greeks, the Romans, and the British. The only ones left who are »cons_upay_edlilg all three areas are the Brits, but that isn‘t their fault. They‘re just more modern. survivor. If you aren‘t, you shouldn‘t be reading this. As a survivor, you still have flesh and spirit together in the one vessel. And that‘s the umeoflhe&m. when you are tackling a new year. ‘t be fearful. oldâ€"age pensioner, with a private income of eighty thousand a year, don‘t let your Above alil, don‘t feel guilty. If you‘re an Publisher: Paul Winkler Manager: Bill Karges Editor: Rick Campbell No time to get down â€"It is written ‘"And that‘s not counting the trips I made to Jim Erb‘s funeral home. As a matter of fact, I hope to only go there one more time." â€" o i _ â€" "I‘d just like Bruce to know that next time he comes into my funeral home, ‘ll give him 10 per cent off â€" as long.as he comes in under his own steam." â€" â€" hand tremble when you cash your oldâ€"age pension. Sign your cheque with a flourish. If you‘re a student, don‘t feel guilty if you got straight "F‘s" on your Christmas report. It‘s probably because you come from a broken home, or because your teachers have a builtâ€"in antipathy toward free spirits. Just think positively. "F" stands for fantastic. If you‘re a wife, don‘t feel depressed because your husband prefers to spend all his evenings, alone, at the Legion Hall. Think positively. He‘s probably destroying his liver, and you‘ll soon be on your own, to look for a man with a little fire and less smoke . one . of (nem out, down to the last thirdâ€"cousin. Leave it all to Billy Grabbem or Rex Humbug. Either will waft you up there on wings of pure plastic. If you‘re too fat, don‘t sweat. Or if you sweat, don‘t fast. Just sail in the chocolate cake and iceâ€"cream, flip a buttock in the divil‘s face and go to your grave a happy If you‘re an aged, don‘t be down because nobody comes to visit you. Call in your lawyer, make a new will, and cut every problem, which you can‘t possibly face. 125th anniversary chairman Bruce Lumsden at a civic wrapâ€"up to the celebrations, counting the number of meetings his committee held. Ald. Jim Erb, in reply â€" SEE PAGE 3 If you are so depressed that there seems only one way out â€" suicide â€" do it properly . Don‘t throw yourself under the wheels of a train, or off a bridge, or cut your wrist, or shoot a hole in your head. Throw yourself under a live body, or jump off a twoâ€"foot bridge, or just nick your wrists, or put a hole in your big toe. You‘ll get far more attention than if you did it neatly. People like botched jobs. That‘s why they hire plumbers and painters. There. Feeling better? This little treaâ€" tise is not the only way to get through ‘83, â€" you could win a lottery â€" but it should If you find yourself so upset about the world, the state of the country, or the latest idiocy of the town council, and you start biting your nails, no sweat. Start biting your toeâ€"nails, instead. This will take your mind off your troubles, increase your agility, and give you another taste in your mouth, aside from the bitter one. neither flesh nor :rlru. It is both. Just keep body and sou! together for another don‘t face it. Run away. Take a trip. It‘ll be all blown over when you get back. at