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Remember what a rotten weekend it was â€" cold and rainy right through? Weill, I could have taken that. I had pienty of papers to mark. On the drizzly, cold Sunday, we sat around for a while, she in her dressing gown and 1 in a huff, waiting for her to I don‘t know where you were on the 24th of May weekend, but 1 know where I was. 1 was in a towering rage. No, it wasn‘t the weather that put me in a towering rage. Have you ever lost your car keys? Well I have. Have you ever lost your cool? Well 1 have. Have you ever thought your wife was an idiot child, trying to drive you clean wild? And as the old song goes on ... and the umpâ€"dumpâ€"daâ€"daâ€" dump and the umpâ€"dumpâ€"daâ€"daâ€"dump and so on, (from the Thirties, called Have Y ou Ever Seen a Dream Walking)? has it. And my wife was the last one to use the car. And I have witnesses to prove it. So who lost the keys, eh? At first there was no panic. They were around somewhere. After all, two sets of car keys can‘t vanish into thin air. Merely a matter of looking around a bit, checking her purses and other normal places she might have left them. Oh, we‘re not completely stupid. We have two sets of keys for the car. At least we had. So there was no real problem. Except that when we looked for the second set, they were nowhere to be found. PAGE B â€" WATERLOO CHRONICLE, WEDNESDAY Perhaps in this week set aside for seniors and throughout the year, the greatest contribution local residents could make to senior citizens in Waterlioo is to give a helping hand and a few hours of precious time. Second Class Mail Registration Number 5540 Unfortunately, reflection is not enough during Senior Citizens Week. Programs such as Meals on Wheels depend on a team of volunteers to make them work. Surely this should be the aim of programs designed for the elderly. Not only should society recognize the contributions made by seniors to the community, but it should also help to make these contributions possible by allowing and encouragâ€" ing the elderly to live productive lives as an integral part of the community. Their wisdom and knowledge garnered from years of experience are too rich for society to squander. Statistics show that in communities where no such program is offered, senior citizens enter retirement homes at a much earlier age. As Dorothy Schnarr, president of Meals of Wheels of Ontario explains, if you are able to keep people healthy by supplying nutritious meals, you will help them remain at home longer. One of these, Meals on Wheels, has a proven track record. The program delivers nutritious, hot meals to senior citizens daily at a low cost. In its eight years of existence, it has helped the elderly retain their independence, enabling them to remain in their own homes for a longer period of time. The week should have a particular significance to Waterloo‘s residents in light of the large number of seniors who make the city their home. It should be a time to reflect on ways that society can best meet not only the social, but also the physical needs of its elderly citizens. There are many programs throughout the community designed to help the elderly live healthy, happy and productive lives. This is Senior Citizens Week, a time set aside to honor our seniors and recognize their contributions to the community. Senior Citizens Week Found any car keys? nevesrares assecanen legistration Number 5540 established 1854 published every Wednesday by Fairway Press, a division of Kitchenerâ€"Waterloo Record Ltd., owner 225 Fairway Rd.S., Kitchener, Ont. Waterioo Chronicle office is located on 2nd floor of the O W Sports building opposite Waterloo Square Parking on King Street or in Waterioo Square Open Monday to Friday 9:00 a m to 5:00 p.m address correspondence to Waterioo office. 92 King St.South, Waterioo, Ont., telephone 886â€"2830 Suddenly 1 thought, "Somebody‘s found them, and stolen the car‘" (Our garage, a collector‘s item of leaning wood and dirt floor, is about 50 feet from the house, and you can‘t tell at a glance whether the car is there or not). Rushed to the garage. Car sitting there, chuckling. Searched underneath, with At first 1 thought she‘d dropped the keys on her way in. Checked that. The neigh bours must have thought I‘d finally gone right around the bend, seeing me out there prowling around the lawn, nose to the ground like an antâ€"eater, pulling up shrubs and weeds, peering under stones. That woman has this infuriating habit of tidying up. She puts things away so carefully that they don‘t turn up for five years. Last time it happened, it was the key to my safety deposit box with all those gold bars and diamonds in it. We searched the house from stem to gudgeon. It finally cost me $25.00 to have the old lock drilled out, a new one put in, and a set of keys made. Naturally, the old one turned up later â€" in an empty cookie jar. But this was a little different. There was nothing much but some old papers in my deposit box, and they could have sat there for years. But this was a car, the only fairly new car we‘d ever had. remember where she had put the keys, for safekeeping. Publisher Manager: Editor: Paul Winkler Bill Karges Karla Wheeler [ Popommmmmmmmne AMACEACHEN j WELL ALLAN , THE JOKES on you! THEse Last \ FEW MONTHS HAYVE BEEN a MOCK EMERGENCY! wE JUST wWANTED TO KNOW HOW uD REALT IF WE HAD A REAL ECONOMIC CRISIS ON OUR HANDS . / Monday, the tension was almost unbearâ€" able, as we darted about the house, up and I‘d sit there, pretenging to read, but my mind probing the hiding places in the house. which were myriad. She‘d sit there, trying to retrace the subterranean thinkâ€" ing that made her put them in a "safe" place. Then one of us wouldjump up. She might run to the attic, or 1 to the basement. All we ended up with, on every excursion, was bumped ~shins, scratched wrists, and further frustration. By the Sunday evening, there was panic. Last time I‘d lost my car keys, about 20 years ago, I‘d had to have the locks drilled out and new ones installed. Cost me about $20. With inflation, I reckoned this one would cost me over $100. By this time I was fuming a bit, just a little smoke coming out my ears, but enough for friend wife to see. She scuttied upstairs and began searching drawers, jacket pockets, jewel boxes, even shoes, knowing her own propensity for finding a safe place. I sat down, read a book, and steamed away like a freshlyâ€"dunked lobster. "Let her search. Do her good. Damned idiot thing to do. Why can‘t a woman be more like a man?" fNashlight. Felt behind the seats. Raked the dirt floor. Felt under the seats. No dice. No keys. 7 e AAL BILL SMILEY They told me to give them the last SiXx numbers of the car‘s ID number, and they could cut keys. "How long will it take"" "Have them to you in about an hou" They did, it cost peanuts, and °U marriage is still viabile. But it was might} shaky there for a couple of days. And th¢ keys haven‘t turned up. Poltergeists® On the Tuesday morning, I dolefully called a colleague for a ride to work. then called the garage, to get the bad new~ C2" towed away, locks drilied out, new locks. new keys. I could see the bill soaring one more place. We have a big house. which contains about 40 huge items under which a set of keys could have been kicked by accident. They were all moved, slipped discs popping as we heaved out ~tove. frigge, chesterfield, etc. Holiday. Garage closed. No help there. But it was not all in vain. A number of things turned up, including a missing gold earâ€"ring and the new keys to my safety deposit box, which had gone missing a few days before. By dinner hour, we weren‘t speaking. but still popping up, now wearily, to try downstairs, like an old silent movie comedy, when we were struck by another possible inspiration, and checked out the grandbeys‘ toys in the old crib, or the box with her sewing patterns in it. I know I searched the same places eight times each, and so did she. chasle L,,%j‘m% w;,