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Until last week I hadn‘t hag a dream for a long time, or at least I didn‘t think L had. But according to authâ€" orities on the subject everybody dreams, and most of us have dreams or nightmares more frequently than we think. It‘s just that we don‘t remember most of them. All I can remember are the nightmares. The majority of people dream in colour, in three dimenâ€" sions and for a variety of reasons. To sleep: perchance to dream ; ay, there‘s the rub. After putting in a hard day at the office, I take a dim view of having my sleep messed up with a night of clinging to the edge of a precipice, being hunted by police, missing a train in a gree-hour dash down a crowded loading platform ing chased by a violent mob up a long beach when I‘ve got my legs buried to the knees in soft sand. ; _ _ One of the locals in that hockeyâ€"mad part of the country agreed to be the subject of one of Dr. Hiew‘s What do your dreams really mean? One source of technical advice says that falling into am abyss sigâ€" nifies insecurity. Being stuck in sand or glued to the spot reflects a situation where the dreamer in his waking hours has mentally provided himself with a homemade obstacle. Drinking or being drunk in a dream may simply mean you were thirsty when you went to bed, or it may denote a wish to return to babyhood. Great stuff, eh? There have been quite a few studies conducted since the turn of the century when Sigmund Freud first began reading sexy connotations into our dreams. One of the more recent academics to probe our nightâ€"time notions is Dr. Chok E. Hiew, a psychology professor at the University of New Brunswick, who set out to prove the theory that we can control dreams through preâ€"sleep suggestions. Apparently colloquialisms run wild in our dreams. Expressions like "seeing red," "letting off steam," ‘‘fallen woman,"‘ "wet blanket,""‘ and "hitting the ceilâ€" ing‘‘ are all acted out in some sort of nocturnal silent movie. The thought of my boss reading some of my work, "blowing a gasket" and "hitting the ceiling" would be a dream worth selling tickets for. And the dream pantomime portrayal of that social anachronâ€" ism, "the fallen woman‘‘ sounds like it could be someâ€" thing out of a Keystone Cops silent flick. A good many teachers. with a long summer holiday . do something exciting. interesting. or at least conâ€" structive Man, it‘s good to get back to work after a long. hot, wet, cold, dry summer o Some go on exotic trips to faraway places. and reâ€" turn to bore you with their experiences for the next ten months ® Others go to the Stratford Festival, or take a course in potting pottery. or go on a long boat trip in théir own boat. or have an affair. or make fifty gallons of peach wine. or grow a beard Still others build a patio. or tear down a barn. or take a summer course to improve their qualifications. or prepare their courses for the fall term Or someâ€" thing equally dull Every yvear. it‘s the same thing with me I make great plans for the summer. around the middle of June Write a book. go to the Yukon or Newfoundland. revisit boyhood haunts. have an affair. grow a beard and long hair. catch a hundred bass. shoot a par round in golf I barely got my weekly column written I travelled no more than 120 miles from home 1 reâ€"visited nothâ€" ing except the town library The only affair I‘ve had was with a big cedar chair in my back yard. I‘m cleanâ€" shaven and shortâ€"haired 1 caught one nineâ€"inch bass 1 did shoot a par in golf On one hole And this summer. as so often. I accomplished absoâ€" lutely zilch Well. we‘re not all perfect Idid get quite a few meals. Peanut butter sandwich and banana for breakâ€" fast Freshmade sandwiches from The Oasis for lunch Chicken pies. fish and chips. turkey dinner. I‘ll have to admit what my wife suggested every second day all summer. "You‘re a lazy bum _ By Geoff Haile Bill Smiley Salsbury steak and gravy, all of them frozen, for dinâ€" ner. Sometimes, when my menus began to repeat themselves, I‘d send out for Chinese food. laboratory experiments in preâ€"sleep stimulation and was told to dream about **something nice to eat". The fetiow Btept, apparently dreamed and woke the next morning to tell his story. He dreamed not about some gourmet meal â€" or even a hamburger, french fries and a beer in front of the hockey Nightâ€"inâ€"Canada TV special â€" but rather a vivid recollection of ‘"grabbing his hockey stick and biting off a big chunk," without garnish but with great relish. One night, carried away by some wild primitive inâ€" stinct, I actually cooked up fresh potatoes, green beans, and a chunk of $2.98 sirloin. But made the misâ€" take of making steak gravy. It came out looking like the inner side of a diaper, and nobody could eat the steak One other memorable meal was a stew I made. The usual stuff â€" onions, carrots, meat,. a couple of spuds It tasted a little flat. so I hit the spice cupboard and chucked in a few shots of everything but mustard. then squirted in about half a bottle of Worcestershire sauce. That steak had body and a je ne sais quor that my old lady tried to figure out for days Aside from the cooking. there wasn‘t much to do For various and sundry reasons. too miscellaneous to list. we weren‘t able to do any of the things we d planned. Maybe that‘s why we wound up with a phone bill nudging the $200 mark. Per month A sick brother. the colonel. in hospital in Montreal. flown out from James Bay after a collapse. The breakdown of a deal to rent a camper and go visiting Worrying. and trying to help. as my daughter preâ€" pared to head for the other side of James Bay to teach Indian kids music. Five years ago. that girl could hardly write a cheque. Now here she was,. arranging all the details of a major move, with two small boys travel tickets. baggage shipment, getting a piano crated, trying to dispose of a car that won‘t start. and coping with a hundred other problems. Jolly good for her Ard gctting through yet another wedding. this time a mece from Edmonton. with my old lady running in circles over gift, clothes. and all the other garbage _ When I was a kid I had this great dream where I spent all my time eating a giant marshmallow. And when I woke up in the morning my pillow was gone. Some parents send their children off to sleep with cute little rthymes that have come down through the generations. Little gems like, ‘*good night, sleep tight; don‘t let the bugs bite." Charming. The Egyptians, back in 2000 B.C., are credited with being the first people to show an interest in dreams; at least they were the first ones to write anything down on the subject. And most of what they wrote down I can‘t quote in a familyâ€"oriented paper. Their dreams and interpretations were a bit sexy. In fact they were raunchy to the point of being kinky. However, one of the more harmless of these Egypâ€" tian ideas goes like this: "If a manshould dream he is pregnant, if he is a poor man he will acquire and enjoy lots of money and be all puffed up." Judging from the erotic dreams of the Babylonians it‘s little wonder Moses didn‘t want his family hangâ€" ing around them. And Daniel, of the lion‘s den fame, also wrote an entire book on the meanings of dreams. He warmned that "plucking out one‘s beard in a dream is a bitter thing for all". Dreams are good for something other than telling fortunes and baffling anyone who happens to be listenâ€" ing to you explain them. Some famous authors have used characters from their dreams in their literary works. The plot for the Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde came to Robert Louis Stevenson in a dream. On the other hand Abraham Lincoln‘s dream didn‘t help him prolong his career. Around the first of April, 1865 he described to friends and family a premonition type dream in which he saw someone lying in state in the White House. In reply to his question a soldier explained that it was the president and that he had According to Hoil k4 The car breaks down. (I never was much good around engines.) We run through back alleys, up three flights of stairs into my old high school, where we get lost in miles of corridors that never did go anywhere. The police catch us and throw us both into a prison cell. I woke up before the dream ended. I can imagine what Freud would say about my dream. Just so long as he doesn‘t tell my wife. One of the guys in the office often dreams of flying. Not Air Canada, just him. He says it‘s great once you get off the ground. Pierre Burton is reported to have the same kind of dream. I looked up The Meaning of Dreams under flying and, you guessed it, Freud said that ‘"dreamâ€"flying may be expressive of the act of inâ€" tercourse.""‘ Another expert on dreams suggests that flying may indicate a strong desire to break away from a boring or unsatisfying job. I can‘t wait to get back to the office tomorrow to tell John his dreams offer him a choice between sex and quitting his job. A second member of the office staff has the dream of being chased and having her legs weighed down with deep water or sand. Another girl I know has the same nightmare of running up the beach, only she claims it‘s the Greekâ€"god lifeguard chasing her who can‘t get his legs into high gear. No kidding, I had a dream the other night. I was minding my own business on the beach somewhere when this incredibly beautiful girl in a white bikini asked me if I would help her get her car started. What was I supposed to do? I gave it a complete tuneup and drove her home. Only on the way the cops started shooting at us. The girl confesses she is an African spy. been assassinated. Ten days later John Wilkes Booth shot Lincoln. In the early 1900s Sigmund Freud started livening up everybody‘s dreams with his startling interpretaâ€" tions of sexual overtones in the sleeping behaviour of his patients. One Freudian student put together a list of dream explanations in which he views hair as a phallic symbol. He also sees legs as a phallic symbol. Even the eyes have it. I didn‘t finish the book, but I‘m wondering if this guy should maybe see a fellow psyâ€" chiatrist and get some advice for his problem. Wanted to see Kim and grandboys off for the north. Did you ever try to get a hotel room in Toronto during the C.N.E.? Travel agent called twelve hotels, and the only thing she could come up with was a deluxe douâ€" ble, whatever that is, at $76.00 a night. A little rich for the blood, what? A oneâ€"night stand we could hack. but we wanted it for four. What would you do? I won‘t tell connected with weddings So, all in all. the summer was a big, fat bore. Not any help was me with a fat. arthritic foot when my wife was fit. and she with some kind of horrible sore back when my foot was fit It didn‘t help that the lawnmower went on the blink. and I flatly refused to take it back to the robber who charged me $55.0 to get it going last time. "Let the dam‘ grass grow. That way the neighbours won‘t be able to see that I haven‘t painted the fallingâ€"down back porch. Oh, it wasn‘t a total loss. I had a serious chat with my contractor neighbour about building a back deck to the house to replace the tumbled heap of stones onto which the French windows presently permit actess. We may get it done next year. Neighbour‘s too busy Sat by the hour. looking at cedar summer furniture. stripped to a greyâ€"white by five years of weather. and studied just how it would look when sanded and stained and varnished. It‘s too late now to get it done this year. Read three hundred books. Watched three hundred thirdâ€"run movies. Almost blind from reading. Piles bad from beer a I called a guy twice to come and do some brickwork He‘d be there for sure. Haven‘t seen him yet. Water tank in cellar began to leak $200 for new one Man, am I glad to be back to work! iby w molngit) cobmieXt â€"A.sqetl °~ muy@m- y Wikiterhber 12; 1970+ Page ?