The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

Bill Townshend, newly appointed director of educa- tion for Waterloo Region, will no doubt discover that all too soon. As director, he's somewhat responsible for 50,000 students in the Region, as well as 114 schools and 2,500 teachers. Not to mention the board of education's whopping $104.9 million budget this year. . With that sort of responsibility, the poor guy can't win. If the budget increases again next year, he'll no doubt get fried by the media and the public. For example, being a public servant is not my idea of a gratifying career. All of us - especially we cynical members of the media - mast public servants quite freely under the guise of "fair comment". Even worse, Mr. Townshend faces the possibility of school closings in Waterloo and Kitchener due to in- - There are some jobs I wouldn't want in spite of the prestige, salary or power involved. This depresses me sufficiently that I can go to bed without chuckling myself awake at the folly of man- kind. If the evening paper doesn't cool me out enough. I listen to the late news and go to the shck With the dense gloom that ensures sleep. the only escape from it There's nothing to quiet your jolliness like some of these Items "Board To Fire 214 Teachers." when your only daughter. with three degrees and two chil- If I come down in the morning feeling fairly ebul- lient. I take a small downer to get me down with the normal level of misanthropy. l pichaqvthe morn'lg paper. This depresses me sufficiently that I can get trough the day without driving my colleagues and students silly with sheer cheerfulness. Sometimes, when I feel a bit of ebullience coming on. which is almost every day. I have to take some- thing for it, just as the depressed person has to take an elevator pill to get out of the gloom, If my ebullience starts to build up during the day, after several brilliant lessons. the solving of some teachers' frantic problems. and the crafty evasion of the latest edict from the administration. I have to take something to cool me down when Iget home from work So I pick up the evening paper. It's difficult for me to undérstand depression since I have a natural tranquility. and sometimes even a spot of ebullience. This is either from genes or good luck. and I'm not bragging about it. There are a lot of depressed people in the world. for one reason or another: illness. mental or physical: poverty: insecurity: unrequited love: hemmorhoids - you name it. I don't have any idea, and perhaps I wouldn't want to hear the answer even it there was somebody around who could tell me. . l The question came,up during a recent one-day se- inar on the subject at Conestoga College, and was t?Firi'y',. answered brreports of newspaper studies t indicate reader preference leans to Dear Abby, the grocery ads, sports, lifestyle features and the comics long before it gets to the editorial page. For all I know columns might fall into the same category as editorials. and nobody is reading this. The general concensus seemed to assess the rela- tive importance of current educated comment in the media as falling somewhere between an informative public service and strong fertilizer. Apparently the problem begins with a lack of research and logical thought progression on the part of most editorialists and ends with a lack of interest on the part ot an overwhelming majority' of readers. 'Who the hell reads editorials anyway? I almost cime siwaf from the seminar with a new According to Haile Bill Smiley Waterloo Mayor Marjorie Carroll must \work an average of four nights a week. Committee meetings, public appearances at everything from firemen’s ban- quets to Brownie meetings, council meetings and in- terviews with sometimes hostile members of the media. After his appointment was official, Mr. Townshend told the board trustees he knew he'd encounter ob- stacles in his new job. F That, sir, is an understatement.- How about a job as mayor of a city like Waterloo? That's as bad if not worse. _ sufficient enrolment. That's a hot issue already, the schools aren't closed yet. _ Then there'g the problem of deciininguroimimts to be dealt with. smaller classes, too many teachers, bussing etc. etc. and inspired appreciation of the editorial art, ready to spray the countryside with a higher standard of cri- tical analysis. However somewhere around the half- way mark the message started to sink in that few readers have sufficient time or interest left for the random ravings of news-sodden" editorial writers. especially after they've had to wade through Dear Abby, the grocery ads, sports,' lifestyle and the comics. No. I don't know what I'd do without the media. I'd probably spring out of bed in the morning. singing gaily. _ “Here hath been dawning Another new day. Think' Wilt thou let It Slip useless away"'" I can't understand why people specialize in edi, torials anyway. Humor is frowned upon. Writing com- plimentary articles congratulating public officials only makes some cerned citizen groups wonder if you are on the 'll'iJ.%l' pouring your soul out into the public view in fiery condemnation of everything from the price of bus fares to motherhood only makes peo- ple mad at you. - Mind you," there's a fellow in Elmira who makes a good living doing this sort of thing. Bob Verdun has won more than his _share of Ontario Weekly How about, "Food Costs May Soar. .. That's about as startling as reading, in November. "Winter May Come." They have already scared out of sight. The headline should have read “Rocket" instead of "Soar." I‘d probably come chorthng downstairs and cook up a big breakfast of bacon and eggs and real coffee in- stead of my usual tea and peanut butter and jam sand- wich. My wife doesn't eat anything, And ldave her a dirty big mess m the kitchen to clean up. Or this one: "Cancer Dooms Miners." "Lung cancer deaths Among hardrock miners are almost double those of men in other jobs." I knew this 35 years ago. So did the mines. So did the government. So what has been done iwthe interval? There's nothing to take the extra ebullience out of a fellow like news stories that tell us Canada's nuclear plants are not all that safe. or that the country is 69 zillion or something dollars in debt. or that your pre perty taxes are going up 10 per cent this year. dren, is in her first year of teaching and bound to be one of the casualties. Then To sail off to school. so happy with life that rd be gawking around at the wonders of nature and pro- bably run over somebody's beloved dog Despite the pressure exerted on them, most public Arid when I'd got to school. buzzing with ebullience Howard Elliott _ ',/C'r7'tvrcdT,"'-5'T','rTrt" --'---R' tr it _?T'rrri" . Tr, .' TiritFt'.E" r. ' 'll' t _ . . _ F _ l . . r . l " " .7 _ . - . , ‘ b ,'- 'r, . _ 9.. Is I. .Feoo" Ho“. Newspaper Association awards for his editorial en- pertiaettseditorofttteEtrnira hidqiendent. Whilethe restolusarestcgmgwithoneortwodthueopin- ionpieceseach 1teiatqrthereehttmirtgttternout until they invariably overflow the editorial page and spread throughout the rest of his paper. They te1iype that editorials are enjoying a sort of renaissance in the public View in North America, but I don't really believe it. We probably would have known for sure if I could have convinced my editor to (home l out with a strong editorial supporting trtnalgamatioet with Kitchener. No luck. He wouldn't even agree to lace his articles with erotically tinged adjectives as a means of measuring editorial readership. It's the kind of job l'm going to have to do for tny- self. To help me conduct a survey. I'd like everybody reading this to list the sections of the paper you read most tin order of preference) on the back of a $20 bill and send it to my personal attention c/o The Waterloo Chronicle, 92 King St. South, Waterloo. Nhl 1'W. - And if I came home and walked in the door and didn't issue my usual sigh-groan. "Holy Cheese, what a day!", my wife would know I had. Therefore. as a non-depressant. I couldn't do with- out the media, They are the only thing that protect me from messing up my life and those of everyone I know by being happy This is when I must pick up that evening paper. If I didn't. who knows what wild extravagance my ebul- lience might lead us into: having somebody in, going out for dinner. attending a movie. making love? There's no end to the iniquities into which good cheer and jolliness can lead one, Personally. I think people caught singing or whistling to themselves on the street should be locked up. They're liable to start a dangerous trend in this country. I make a deep obeisance to them. with my back turned That sound you might hear is the breaking of wind I may be vulgar but rm happy If a teacher came up to me. sobbing on my breast about some real or imaginery problem. and I burbled away cheerfully. instead of putting on my phony. grave expression of concern. she'd probably think I'd gone senile overnight. the kids would likely cheer lustily. instead of rolling their eyes and groaning, when I announced we were going to learn some goody ole grammar. That cheer would disturb the rest of the school for the whole day, and rd be on the carpet for upsetting the learning sys- tem. F In the teachers' staff room, I'd be a menace. If I shouted at the shuffleboard. "Jolly good shot,” or "Well done. sir." instead of the usual “Don't miss. Don't choke. Don't be light", I'd be a moral leper. In the end, I guess public servants know what they're getting when they're elected, appointed or hired. One town clerk told me he expected criticism, and even threats when he took his job. He got both in goodly amounts, but claimed he enjoyed his job none- the-less. I believe it takes some special qualitiés to be a public servant. Thick skin, a slow temper, stamina and probably a streak of masochism would help. I think I'll stick to this business. It doem't pay' near- ly as well, but then the abuse isn't nearly as bad. servants I've met aren't bad folks. There are 30mm- Ceptions. ofeourse. V Like the recreation director in northern Ontario who, when he was dismissed for having one-too-many once too often painted nasty words all over the side and front of the town hall. Seems he disagreed with his dismissal, at least that's what he told the judge who fined him for defacing public property.