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There‘s a great show in town. As the supreme con, the theme would be a natural for a movie sequel to The Sting with Robert Redford, Paul Newman and maybe Lorne Greene in the big roles. I caught the premiere performance last Thursday at the Lincoln Heights Auditorium. The response was terrific, so much so that the show is being held over for one more spectacular week. Improvising on the original stage production, the movie updated version would probably start off someâ€" thing like this. Deep in a territory ruled by Louie the Emperor, the syndicate‘s local boss (played by Lorne Greene), a couple of itinerant swindlers (Redford and Newman) come wanderifig into town looking for acâ€" These downâ€"andâ€"out con artists are desperate enâ€" ough to risk the consequences of operating in Big Louie‘s neighborhood, the only problem being how to keep him out of the action while they engineer the What do they mean? Let me ‘attéinpt an explanaâ€" tion. Research leads to new products, like solarâ€"heatâ€" ed greenhouses. Development means bringing such new products to the marketplace. â€" Government Ministers have recently announced certain initiatives which help us to understand what it is all about. For instance, the Hon. Alastair Gillespie, Minister of Energy, Mines and Resources last July said that the federal government will spend $380 million over the next five years for R & D which will help to deveâ€" lop more energy from the sun, garbage and the forests. R & D. Research and Development. These words have been much on the|lips of political leaders in recent months, on both sides of the House. Gillespie‘s objective is to create within five years an unsubsidized Canadian solar energy industry with about 15,000 employees. T e e The Hon. Judd Buchanan, as Minister of State for Science and Technology, at the same time suggested a After about 10 days of solid blizzards and bad drivâ€" ing, low temperatures and a lower temperament, my social, intellectual and emotional life hovering around zero (Fahrenheit), I wondered what to write about this week. Came home from work, picked up the mail, and there was a fat package from something called AMC, Ottawa. I turned it over a couple of times, wondering whether the initials meant Ancient Military Curmudâ€" geons, from some veteran‘s outfit, or All Men Coâ€" wards, from some rabid women‘s lib crowd. Not to worry. Democracy is still rearing its bruised and battered head here and there in this our n‘;{ive land. The package was from Antiâ€"Metric Canada, its single and avowed purpose the stamping out of the metrication of our fair white country. It contained: an honorary membership card: a bumper sticker which shouts, ‘"Pound Out Metric‘‘. a newsletter with a number of spelling and grammar errors; a personal letter from the president:; a petiâ€" tion to send to my M.P.; a full page of antiâ€"metric propaganda: and a quiz or survey loaded with quesâ€" tions along the line of. ‘"When did you stop beating vour wife? â€" Sample question. ~Do you realize that under the metric system that (sic) the farmers will loose (sic) money and the dairy cartel win?"" Answer yes no How can you answer a question like that? With a yes or no? Personally, I think it‘s high time the farmers were pried loose from the some of their money, and the whole thing is putting the cartel before the cow Another sample: Do you believe that people come before computers?"‘ Well, yes and no. We were here before the computers. but when it comes to arguing with one over a booâ€"boo on your chargex. it‘s obvious that they come before us. And I have a secret hunch that they‘ll be here long after the human race has According to Hoile Bill Smiley swindle. Fortunately, Louie the Emperor â€" in addition to being chief honcho in the mob‘s eastern textile diviâ€" sion â€" is overly impressed with his own appearance. The dude is a fashion freak. Our two swindlers strike upon a plan to pass themâ€" selves off as master weavers with a tweed recently developed on New York‘s Fifth Avenue but not yet released to the buying public. They spread the word that the new weave has been designed primarily with politicians, celebrities, mobsters and misbehaving husbands in mind. Anything woven by our two heroes in this material will render the wearer invisible. Emperor Louie, being security conscious, puts in an order for halfâ€"aâ€"dozen suits. The swindlers â€" having convinced a naked Louie the Emperor that he is resplendent in his new suit â€" do a little disappearing themselves into a passing crowd. Louie is strolling back to his office carrying a disappeared, chattering and giggling away among themselves about how they so finally, and so easily, got rid of us. â€" _ O â€" Just one more sample. Do you want the Canadian public to pay $2.00 a gallon for gas?" Answer: deâ€" pends on whether you think a gallon of gas is more imâ€" portant than a pound of beef. If the Ayâ€"rabs can get $2 a gallon for it, and you don‘t have any, that‘s what you‘ll pay. If the beef farmer can get $3 a pound for sirloin, and you don‘t happen to have a steer tied up in the garage. that‘s what you‘ll pay. Elemental. These questions are being sent to M.P.‘s. Migod, I hereby resign my honorary membership in the Antiâ€" Metric Canada organization. â€" â€" ) am much more sympathetic with their aims than their means. (But I wonder where they were when I was carrying on a lonely, singleâ€"handed, but valiant fight against metrication a year or so ago? ) target of 1.5 percent of the Gross National Product for R & D expenditures in Canada by 1983. _ _ _ _ I detest metrication and all it stands for: conforâ€" mity. unification,. anonymity. and confusion for everyone over thirty years of age. Ask any shopping housewife what she thinks of it? She will probably. if she has thought about it, reply that it‘s a lovely opporâ€" tunity for the food barons to rip everybody off,. except those equipped with a pocket calculator and endless time on their hands. A gram here and a millilitre there add up to millions, over a year. What R & D can mean for a Canadian industrial strategy and for employment in the Waterloo Region is illustrated by the universities in this community. Additionally the university has contributed directly or indirectly to the birth of more than 25 business enâ€" terprises in various parts of the province, which colâ€" lectively employ several hundred people. The company which now employs 50 persons in the manufacture of computer terminals, was formed by two former UW engineering graduates, later joined by two more. And now let‘s hear from industry. According to it. changing to the metric system was going to make Canada much more competitive in the world market We are about as competitive as Greenland, and our single biggest customer, the US., has not gone meâ€" tric, though it is toying with the madness The University of Waterloo, for instance, has anâ€" nual industryâ€"related research contracts amounting to two million dollars. One of the best known examples of UW spinâ€"off enâ€" terprises is Volkerâ€"Craig Limited of Waterloo. _ _ _Research at the university has also resulted in the production of solarâ€"heated greenhouses by Hothfield Systems of Lindsay. o oo S When I want to know how cold it is, I tune in to an American TV weather report. get it in Fahrenheit. subtract another ten degrees for the difference in latiâ€" tude. and say to my wife,. ‘"Holy Moses. woman, no The greenhouses, designed by a UW mechanical enâ€" Liberal candidate Waterioo riding Frank Epp Waterloo Chronicle, Wednesday, February 7, 1979 â€" Page 7 jugofwineandatrayolcampuwhenmddenlynis accosted by two vice squad officers. Mistaking i for a topless waiter, one officer takes a quick count of the mobster‘s shirt pockets (a requisite under the toâ€" pless waiter/waitress code) while the other books him on a pornography charge (bylaw 78â€"515; subsection 3(b) â€" Flashing out of season). S â€" After much witty dialogue, Louie is led off shivering and shouting. Meanwhile the swindlers have made their way to neighboring Hamilton where they try to cash Louie the Emperor‘s $100,000 cheque in payment of his new suit of clothes. 4 The cheque bounces and Newman is heard moaning as he leaves the bank, "that‘s the trouble with our business; crime doesn‘t pay."‘ The movie ends on this high moral note. Of course there are several other changes from the stage verâ€" sion of the story, including the title. We need someâ€" thing punchier than The Emperor‘s New Clothes. wonder the pipes froze. It was 12 below last night." And she knows I don‘t mean Centigrade. Math and science teachers to the contrary, the world got along very well when every nation had its own terms of currency, measurements and weights. In the days when the sun never set on the British Emâ€" pire, the British pound had a solid ring to it, anywhere in the world. They didn‘t give a diddle about changing it to annas, or yen, or marks. Same with the American dollar, for a century or so. It was worth a dollar, not whatever the Swiss and Gerâ€" mans and Japanese decided it was worth. There was a quaintness and a difference and an inâ€" dividuality about currencies and measures and weights. that is being lost in these days of internaâ€" tional conformity. If a British horse stood 40 hands high and weighed 14 or 44 stone, in a British novel, that was good enough for me. He was either a big horse or a little horse. I didn‘t have to get out my calculator. I know I have no more chance of reversing the meâ€" tric thing than I had of another of my lost causes: that pale pink maple leaf on a dirty grey background that is Canada‘s national flag. But I wish the AMC luck. And I‘m going to use my bumper sticker. if only to annoy my neighbour . a math teacher. who has been flaunting a "Think Meâ€" tric‘‘ sticker for several years. My sticker is bigger. white printing on red,. with a big hammer pounding down on the slogan, "POUND OUT METRIC.~ The organization also has a stubborn little warâ€"cry I rather like. "We won‘t move our feet an inch." gineering professor, use a tenth, even a twentyâ€"fifth, of the energy amount conventional greenhouses use. The university has long ago recognized the potential of its research for Canadian industry and job creation. In the words of President B.C. Matthews:> If Bassanio wanted to borrow three 3,000 ducats from Shylock, I knew that was no $78.50,. and was saâ€" tisfied. Accordingly, the university hopes, with the help of the Federal Government, to establish an Innovation Centre which will facilitate the transfer from the laâ€" boratory to the marketplace of new technologies that are being developed by private and university invenâ€" tors. ‘‘The opportunities for direct service by universiâ€" ties to industry, business and society in general, have never been more evident nor have the needs ever been more urgent." Thus we all have a vested interest in R & D. It means much to the university, but just as much to the community and to our entire economy. President Matthews anticipates that such a centre could lead directly during the next several years to the creation of a substantial number of new jobs that would not otherwise exist in the private sector.