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The Waterloo Downtown Residents' Association is dedicated to the belief that the central residential area can be a decent place to live and toraise a fami- There is a new form of light entertainment on the Waterloo scene. For those of you who are tired of Hockey Night In Canada, Saturday Night Fever (wha- tever form that takes), or reading the comics. the city's Community Services Department now offers you LITTER LINERS. Our neighbourhood has community spirit, for it houses many friendly, interesting people from all walks of life. While it might be an over-simplification to say that a neighbourhood is comprised of houses, trees, people. and amenities: certainly these four ly. Our neighbourhood has many amenities. We are within easy walking distance of the downtown shop- ping area, which offers a variety of goods and ser- vices. We live in an area which has a great variety of building styles. and thus a variety of visual experien- ces which does not exist in new subdivisions. Our streets are lined with mature trees, which offer shade in the hot summer and colour in the fall: it will be many years before newer parts of the city can offer this. Our neighbourhood has many houses which are strong and well-built. and which offer room for a wide variety of family activities. In response to public indignation at the increasing incidence of litter on our city streets and parking lots, the Community Services people have come up with a snappy program of Jingles designed to educate the ci- tizenry of the disadvantages of dropping chocolate bar wrappers, beer bottles and whatever. where they don't belong. No Martha, they're not free garbage bags, but you're close. Downtown Perspective Why can't the big brutal world out there leave us little guys alone to get on with the difficult-enough business of living: putting on the storm windows, changing into the snow tires, digging out last winter's rubber boots with the hole in? Not a chance. ICs always shoving a ham-fisted hand into the delicate machinery of our daily lives. Today I received a summons to appear in court in the city to answer a charge of illegal parking, with all the “to wits" and "whereases" and threats that accompany such blackmail. And that's what it is -- blackmail. I haven't been in the city for four months, I don't even own a car in my own name, and I certainly was not hanging around disreputable Parliament St. on that occasion or any other. with or without a car. Oh. but I have a choice. If I don't want to travel to the city at considerable expense to plead innocent, or have a la wyer represent me at considerably more ex- pense. I can just plead guilty by mail and send along 37,80, But dammit, I'm innocent. So what do I do? Lose a day's pay. spend the money to get there and back. just to prove to some frumpy traffic court that Um as pure as the driven snow? Or take the chicken way out. and pay thc rap" That‘s blackmail. brother A month ago. In tame a hill from National Rovvnuo. stating that I owed them several hundreds of dollars, plus Interest No explanations. just the bald sta- tement. accompanied by the usual dire warnings of the consequences. If I don't ante up More blackmail While yoi, the public, lie snug and relaxed in your Idon't rhind paying my bills Well, I mind, but I pay According to Hoile We do have a few problems. as do most neigh- borhoods. One major problem, that of residential sta- bility, is being resolved by the current implementa- tion of the secondary plan. which is designed to im- prove the zoning of the residential areas and thus to protect them from undesirable intrusions. Another problem is that of schools. At present the problem is 'not that of too few classrooms. with the resultant overcrowding. but of too many. at least according to the schoolboard. which seerns'to want to solve the problem by closing classrooms. and, perhaps, entire schools. beds " ml. the beat brains in the Community Ser- vi-re pacing the tittor somewhere. trying to come up with this week's snappy rhyme to get the message across. - Should an under-utilized school be closed. and the remaining pupils be sent elsewhere? Should the build- ings therefore be destroyed, and the land sold for some other purpose? Or should the buildings be re- tained, perhaps temporarily be put to some otheruse. against the day when enrollments once again in- things contribute a great deal to making a neitih- bourhood a place that is nice to live in, them. But these mindless, inhuman, computerized at- tempts to make me feel like a criminal merely suc- ceed in making me sick. Down in Ottawa, the waifling and weaving and ducking and bobbing go on, ministers fall like autumn leaves, and nobody lets the left side of his mouth know what the right side is saying. I'm not on the city payroll, but the whole idea rather appeals to me, I find myself driving up dead end streets on my way to work, whilel kick around ridicu- lous little rhymes (many of which can never (ind their way into print - at least not in the Chronicle.) Trudeau, after losing a dozen able ministers in the last half-dozen years. totters along with a turncoat Tory, Jack Homer. insensitive arrogancies like Otto Lang, and political retreads like Bryce Mackasey, who. as I recall "solved" the last postal strike in only six weeks. Everybody can get into the game of composing jin- gies and, hopefully, picking up the litter. The next time you see a litter container jammed to overflow- ing, tell the fast-food outlet or company responsible for it being there. But do it nicely. Bod about picking up the phone and rattling off a happy little jingle to them, It stimulates your creative ability, and the guy And His Eminence floats among these lesser fish like an octopus past his prime. still dangerous, still slippery, but given to emitting squirts of ink, disap- pearing into a hole. then tentatively thrusting out a tentacle to pick up the latest poll, before retreating into the rocks once again. , And as if the general state of affairs weren't enough to give me a big pain in the arm. there's the local. My wife, after lugging her smashing new expensive white coat for about 10.000 miles this summer. in and out of 20 hotels. on and off countless buses and boats, trains and planes. has lost the blasted thing In her own home town My daughter, with three degrees. IS working as a file clerk. an honorable vocation, but scarcely one to make the creative impulses throb My son-in-law IS looking for a job. a rather harrowing business these davs, And my grandhoys are out of all those fine new Bill Smiley -eratotttrir-tttsrsrt-.s-tter-tt-r'ti." on the other end of the line will probably think you're bananas - but he will probably empty the litter can anyway, For more details on this exciting new civic pastime please tum to page two of the Chronicle. While you're doing that, I'll get back to the news story, I was working on. ....Let me see, how abour"Get off your ash and-pick up the trash." No, I can't use that one; the city might be using it. - How about, "Roses are red, petunias are pink. Pick up the garbage. or we'll raise a great stink." No, eh. Take courage, this is my parting shot.' The litter you keep tossing ls causing problems here. We don't want to stop and lift it So stick it in your ear. ttease. Or, should schools and the classrooms remain open, to provide neighbourhood schools for those chil- dren who presently live, here? . Also, what are the answers of the candidates for the board of education? Tonight. Nov. 8, at 7:30 pan. the WDRA is hosting a candidates meeting for those run- ning for the board of education. Come and hear the candidates speak to those issues which they feel are important. Come and ask them to answer your ques- tions, and to find out how they respond to your con- cerns. _ -isVnGguourhdod school a necessary and desirable neighbourhood amenity? What are your answers to these questions? clothes we bought them last spring. The only thing they're not out of is energy and fiendish ability to dis- mantle things that electrical engineers would be afraid to touch. I have a brand-new set of golf clubs with which I can hit the ball twelve feet. On a clear day. With a strong tailwind. I tell yez, b'ys, if it weren't for all them old people, I'd be tempted to pack it all in. head for Floridy, and sit on a bench in the sun. mumbling my gums. But I guess things could be worse. I've got enough money to pay that $180 blackmail for a non-parking parking ticket. I can fight the Feds on that mysterious assessment. I can live without the post office. though they sure know how to hurt a syndicated columnist, dependent on the mails, And just maybe, when the dollar has hit 75 cents. unemployment has hit 10 per cent, and inflation set- tles in two figures. we'll get sore enough to kick those tired fladks out of Ottawa, My wife will find her coat, I found my pants last year. after they'd been missing four months. They were 120 miles away, in the hall closet of my father- in-law. And there was a twenty dollar bill in the pock- ct My daughter will get a job, probably as head of the CBC My son-in-law will get a job. probably as his wife's copy and coffee boy My grandboys Will develop into great engineers ()r form a wrecking company and get rich knocking things apart The future actions of the school board may have a major impact upon the future of our neighbourhoods. Come to the candidates meeting, and then vote for those candidates who will be responsive m the con- cerns of our neighbourhood residents. Miytw I'll stick " out a few months yet But I wish Icould do " like the groundhogs just fatten up. crawl Into it halo and sleep until spring submitted try Bob Howell for the Downtown Resident's association