The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

Since 1966, Australian psychologists have been re- searching the "problem" of the elderly. Over the past 12 years they have investigated thousands of in- telligence and vocational tests from around the world to come up with the right one designed th "open new horizons for bored, lonely, elderly people" . The aim of the test is to remove/the traditional so- cial attitude that retirement "is a final, dismal limbo of uselessness. " l Operation Retirement, as the program is called. has been operating outof the University of Brisbane for 12 years and according to researchers, "there have been some spectacular results among a group of elderly volunteers." The proof? Take for example the 75-year-old grand- mother who retired at 65 with no formal education and has since managed to graduate from university with a degree. Or take the case of the 74-year-old man who started learning music a few years ago and now con- ducts and arranges for an orchestra. About this time of year, reporters for community newspapers are sniffing around the town hall, trying to drum up a hot story about the coming municipal elections. Out of all thig the researchers have come to the remarkable conclusion that “virtually all healthy, el- - It's about as rewarding as looking for diamonds in the Arctic. All they come up with are pompous cliches, evasions, and half-truths. - _ _ _ Almost invariably, the Mayor, unless he's been caught with his hand in the till; or been discovered in flagrante delicto in a motel room with somebody else's wife, is going to run again. "V “Yes, I beligve i owe it ti) the people of our fine town to carry out themany‘progressive programs in- augurated during my years in office." . Translation: I like having my name in the paper every week, and if those jackasses of councillors would stop arguing with me, we might be able to screw enough money out of the government to start building that new community centre, which will be called after me. Reeve Dimlylit: "What we need in our fair town is leadership at the top, something we haven't been get- ting. Yes. I will probably be a candidate again for municipal office, but I do not yet know in what capa- city." cw. _ 'fiansAtion: If that turkey, the Mayor, has a heart attack, I'll go after his job. He gets the chain of office, the cocktail parties, the headlines. I wahtthem. Deputy-Reeve Dumly: "There seems to be a strong ground-swell, among the voters, for new blood at the top, a vibrant leadership that would make Pokeville the thriving community it could be. But I have not decided yet. Let the people speak." V Translation: If the 'Ma'yor rhakes a terrible boo-boo, and the Reeve succumbs to cirrhosis of the liver, When I was a kid the "Believe-lt-Or-Not by Ripley" type of unusual facts were very popular, and there was one particular gem that has fascinated me for years. Somewhere along the line. we got onto the subject of cross-roads and who had the right of way. One knowledgeable companion. quoting from some source I have long since forgotten, claimed that under British law if a fire truck. an ambulance. a police vehicle and a mail truck all appeared at the same unposted inter- section In a state of emergency, the mail truck would have the right of way The reason given was that the Queen‘s mail was protected by the British statutes to ensure that atrso- lutely nothing would Impede Its progress from the time it was posted until It was received by the addres- see I have no way of knowing. on short notlee If this oi According to Hoile Terry James This has always been my opinion and it didn't take me 12 years and a series of intelligence tests to dis- cover it was so. Our "Eideriy", and I'm hesitant to use this label with anyone between the ages of 65-75, have a lot going for them. They've grown up in an incredible century and their experience and insight is a valuable asset to our community. derly people can be redirected and stimulated into fresh fields of worthwhile community activity." I strongly believe the researchers are barking up the wrong tree when they devote all their time and energy towards convincing the "eiderty" of their worth. I think most of them are aware of it and only need a little bit of encouragement from family, friends and the community at large. It is society as a whole which needs a going over. The researchers are correct in saying that the traditional social attitude concerning retirement is that "it is a final, dismal limbo of uselessness." But in most cases it's not the elderly who hold this opinion. It is the employer who asks that his employees rirtire at the age of 60 or 65 regardless of their ability and/ or the family who which he's working hard at, I'll go for the top, if I can find two guys to nominate grid second me. - __ - Councillor Doaks: "Yes. Well, as the voters of Ward Four well know, I have been their ardent represents tive whenever their best interests were at heart, and I know they are behind me 100 per cent." Translaition: I voted against' every improvement in town, unless it was in Ward Four, and I squeaked in the last time by four votes. Councillor Blank: "Well, I just don't know whether I'll run again. The position takes a terrible toll of your time and energy. I'd like to spend more time with my family. But you do feel a sense of responsibility to keep Pokeville progressing." Translation: Jeez, I only missed three committee meetings last month. Holy, Moses, if I'm turfed out, I'll miss that $800 a year, and I'll have to stay home with Gladys and those rotten kids every night. Please, Lord don't let Joe Glutz run against me. He'd wipe me out. . Councillor Klutz: "I honestly haven't decided yet. I have served the good people of Ward Two for twenty- eight years, unstintingly, regardless of race, creed or color, and I believe, with all due modesty, that I have served them well. Look at the new sewage line on 11th St. Remember the maples I had cut down to accom- modate a finenew service on 8th St. And don't forget the modernization I brought to Ward Two: a barber shop, two pizza parlors, and a chicken palace. bstand on my record." Translation: Some of those dang communists are still sore at me for cutting down those 25 maple trees. Some a them others is mad because they get pop cans and pizza plates all over their front lawns. If anybody situation still exists in the UK Trying to imagine the four vehicles screeching to a stop on some isolated backwoods intersection does take some doing, I admit. And the thought of someone interrupted enroute to hospital, a homestead burning ti/iiiGround, or a gang of bank robbers eluding the police while these emergency vehicles politely wave a mail truck on its way, is to say the least ludicrous I had always understood that tor ordinary private vehicles the driver on the right has the right-of-way if there are no Signs or traffic signals at the cross-roads But with four of you sitting nose to nose. everyone has someone on his right with the advancing privileges You could sit there all week, all drive ahead and share the damages. or bribe one of the drivers to reverse out of the problem to break the impasse, That still doesn't answer the question of what you do if you By Geoff Hoile {s "! .- Bill Smiley pushes dear old mom or dad into (nursing home be- cause they appear to be lonely or bored. Compulsory retirement ha: always been a sore pointtrittt me. I've seen many a good person asked to leave their job simply because they had the mistor- tune of turning 65, only to be replaced by a younger, inexperienced person who couldn't do half the job. Having worked in nursing homes for, six years I also came across many-elderly people who, with a little love and encouragement, cold have gone to university, learned a new trade or helped in the community as a volunteer. _ We can't change society overnight or even in a period of a few years therefore we'd better make the most of the situation as it exists. There was one result which came out of all this research which I agreed with entirely. A Dr. Harwood at U of B, sees a future need for retirement guidance centres where people can go for testing and consultation. Perhaps the pre- sence of these inour communities would help convin- ce those who need convincing that retirement is not the end of the road. Our "elderly" have a lot to offer. But we must avoid being cynical, mustn't we? Those municipal politicians are more to be pitied than scorned. If they fail to be elected, it's a serious blow to the ego. If they succeed, they are stuck with two years of mind-numbing meetings, and the constant' obloquy of the public, they serve. - runs against me, I'm dead. Otherwise, I’ll be back on the band-wagon. - - __ Unlike their brethren in provincial and federal poli- ties, they cannot put a certain distance between them- selves and their masters, such as a secretary. They are apt to be piltoriedjn the local paper, belligerently confronted in a coffee shop, or phoned at two in the morning to settle a drunken argument. Such is the lot of the municipal politician. .. Nor can we blame them too much for being shifty when asked whether or not they are going to stand for election. They have learned that shifty footwork, that sparring for advantage, that gouging and butting in the clinches, from their provincial and federal coun- terparts. And they have, of course, that great master of the ringing phrase. the double talk, the double think, the swift change of course, Pierre Elliott Himself: the man who was going to wrestle inflation to the ground; who abhorred price and wage controls, then clasped them to his bosom; who steered through the end of capital punishment, and now might, just might, hold a referendum on it. provided enough people vote for him in the next election which might, just might, be held next spring. Or next summer. Or next fall. No, we canCbiame our local politicians for issuing evasive or cowardly statements to the press: Theyie been too well trained from the top. meet a mail truck. Not being the type of fellow who would risk the pen- alty of interfering with the Queen receiving her mail. I asked the Waterloo Regional Police traffic unit for their advice, I was told that they had never had a case reported where four vehicles arrived at one unposted intersection simultaneously, but they promised to get in touch with me as soon as it happened. The officer in charge told me that Canadian law differs slightly from what I believe to be British law insofar as "mail delivery has no special status" from a traffic stand- pmnt - ‘ . ___-__.--.... gnu-0|. Judging from the exasperating regularity with which the post office management and the union hierarchy go through the negotiation role-play and strike routine, it seems mail delivery has no special status for them either