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Gardner Church is camera shy. ‘"I‘m a bureauâ€" crat, not a,politician. You‘re driving me crazy,"" he laughed.as the Chronicle photographer attempted to get a head and shoulders shot of, him <(successâ€" fully, as it turned out. as can be seen on this page). But the executiveâ€"secretary of the Regional govâ€" ernment review team perhaps should get used to snapping cameras â€" or at least snapping reporters â€" as the study, headed by William Palmer, weaves it way through the local municipal government jungle. ; â€" The review team has set up its offices on the 1ith floor of Marsland Center, far enough away to avoid the rockâ€"slinging from municipal politicians (mainâ€" ly expected to be aimed from south of Hwy. 401) and high enough to offer an over view of a good portion of the Region. o C NO o pSLGC A_LA1T nanensants. wl k 3 h ul fnctiicicobaiinn ind â€" Adricti Mr. Church recently met with local representaâ€" tives of the news media, including myself, the editor of this paper and my compatriot columnist on this page, the Heineken toving Mr. Paul Marck. His purpose was to outline how the study will take shape over the next months. According to Mr. Church, the study differs from other Regional government reviews in that it not .only deals on a philosophical basis, but gets into the "meat‘‘ of Regional and local government functions. The first step is data gathering, the painstaking research into the how‘s and why‘s of local governâ€" ment. Each municipality will be looked at as a funcâ€" tioning system along with their relationship with the other governments to see whether the marriage has domestic problems. . Waterloo County residents are going to hear a lot about declining school enrolment in the weeks to come. While other urban centres across the province have heard about the problem time and time again, Waâ€" terloo County boards are experiencing it for the first time. When the school doors opened in September the County was short over 600 students. â€" The Waterloo County Board of Education was taken completely by surprise. They were aware of what other school boards were experiencing but who would have thought it would happen to them. They predictâ€" ed a slight growth and instead they lost 404 elemenâ€" tary students. The Waterloo County Separate School Board was a little more pesimistic and predicted a loss of 200 students. They weren‘t far off. They lost 278. If you turn to the inside of the Chronicle the statisâ€" tics are given, the background and aim of the Jackson Commission is explained and a dim future for eduâ€" cation in Waterloo County is spelled out . Before we, as taxpayers, pare dents push the panic button or Saga of the Shrinking Sausage: Remember the rumors prior to Oktoberfest about Kâ€"W setting another world‘s record with that 40â€"foot sausageâ€"onâ€" aâ€"bun? Well. it appears to be just that â€" a rumor. The great gastronomical goody won‘t be going down in the Guinness book of records. we‘re told And there never really was any intention to set a record this year. after making the book last year with a mileâ€"long uncooked sausage. according to Lou Bradich. of Schneider‘s. creator of the super sausage. + "Our understanding is the Guinness book of records had a bigger bun in there.‘ he said. adding that the company wasn‘t set on breaking records this year. "There was some talk about it . but you just don‘t keep going after records." Guinness, apparently has got a 100â€"footer listed. All of which probably isn‘t the best news to Okâ€" toberfest organizers. who expected to be making culinary history again Anyway. the sausage. a real. extended version of Schneider‘s regular Oktoberfest sausage. was made by Schneiders, the bun was made by Weston‘s. and the whole schmozzle was baked in the great. long parents, teachers and stuâ€" n or sit back and prepare of There will be a service by service analysis. Thig gets trickier because how do you measure the beneâ€" fits of each service. Is it worth carrying a higher transit deficig:ch year to provide service to dutâ€" lying areas? t â€" benefit analyses are themselves costly ventures. f L23 l The secong phase of the study will depend ori what they find in the first phase. For example, maybe it will be discovered that the police and schoel boards are accountable for the major portion of nonâ€"inflaâ€" tion spending increases over the past five years. The study will point out here are the controllable costs; here are the items that can be looked at. The ‘second phase deals with~ accountability. "What is it about the system that is inappropriate? Mr. Church asks. It‘s a foregone conclusion that local government B.R: (Before Regionalization) won‘t come back. Mr. Church admits people will have to be reminded of the ‘"chaos‘‘ of the former system. | ourselves for the worst, let‘s, as one separate school board trustee put it, look at the pther side of the coin. Deciining enrolment inevitab(y means smaller classâ€" es, and if it continues for a number of.years, an evenâ€" tual closing of some school facilities. Do we have a disaster on our hands? No. â€" ~ _The review team is asking for two things: that municipal mayors and officials don‘t preâ€"judge the study and that plenty of local inâ€"put is offered. _ _ . _ As well as from municipal and Regional officials, the team wants to hear from Mr. Joe Average, the man on the street who foots the bill. o But they want specific complaints, and not genâ€" eral bitching. They don‘t want to hear: "Regional government is all screwed up as far as I‘m conâ€" cerned." What they want to hear from people is: ""‘The street in front of my house has been reâ€"paved five times in the last three years. How come? That won‘t be easy. ‘"How do you. calm people down enough so they can remember why they‘re The way I see it,; the smaller the class the smaller the student to teacher ratio therefore the moreâ€"attenâ€" tion each student will receive and the better the qualâ€" ity of education. If a teacher has only 15 students in her class she will have half a chance of getting to know them and will be better able to detect learning disâ€". abilities. Unbelievable as it may sound she may even have time to sit down with them and iron out the difâ€" ficulty before it leads them into a remedial program later on in life or gives some psychologist a job. When people mention the possibility of a school closing the immediate picture which comes to mind is a boarded up building on a weed infested lot drinkâ€" ing up the taxpayers money. This is a possibility but not a necessity. At the separate school board meeting on Monday cookie ovens at Dare‘s After official opening ceremonies at UKLODCTIIE the sausage was donated to charity. and taken Kitchener‘s House of Friendship. CoortC OvCn) oL LTGT C N: More sausage trivia: At 40 feet. the sausage would measure out to 500 bites. or 100 single servings The whole thing would be worth $75. In this world of instant everything. have You heard the one about the Japanese inventing instant booze? Yep,. it‘s true. The country where they‘ve been able to build it better. smaller, and cheaper is now marketing powdered alcohol. readyâ€"made and readyâ€" mixed drinks. All you do is add water. You could mix one up at the office Wwater cooler. and just tell everybody you‘re downing a Neo Citran. and get a little glow on for the rest of the afternoon And. of coutse, there will be variations thereof . Those who have very little patience might just dispense with the water. and throw back the powdered booze right from the envelope Can‘t you see it now? A real dry. dry martini. You could carry it right in your bhack pocket. Who would ever know? ceremonies at Oktoberfest. to , Watsriop Chronicié, Wednesday, October 26, 1977 â€" Page 7 evening, S.P. Englert, chairman of the board, gave some suggestions as to how these buildings could be used. The suggestions were given at a conference he attended and included senior citizen housing and recreation centres, family and health services, neighâ€" bourhood art centres etc. The list could be endless and every suggestion deserves consideration. With the recent act of vandalism on a separate school in Cambridge I am surprised that someone did not sugâ€" gest a youth drop in or activities centre. I have no doubt in my mind that given the opportunity a neighâ€" bourhood organization would find some necessary and worthwhile use for an empty school. Fewer teachers will be required and with any luck at all only those who are sincere about becoming part of the educational system will be given teaching positions. Hopefully declining enrolment and the inâ€" creasing lack of teaching jobs will further discourage mad?** wonders Mr. Church. A cold shower, perhaps? h t dbvdsiditntaint 1 Alininidiatbisiiintal inb tn n taies. 364 university students from entering teachers‘ college because they have nothing better to do or want some more time to sort themselves out. Neclining enrolment. A major problem? It may be i)ehmmg enrolment, A major problem? a blessing in disguise. Think about it. Egads‘ That heading. on a recent AIB press release, is enough to strike fear into the heart of any hotâ€" blooded Canadian. But after the initial fears of the news subsided. one reads on to learn that the AIB guides., are. after all. intended to eliminate sex discrimination. Whew. what a relief n Why metermaids go grey : A couple of weeks ago. once the parking lot in Waterloo square was repaved, a motorist managed to beat a parking ticket because signs denoting the twoâ€"hour limit hadn‘t been erected f And then, after that, a new addition was added to a sign on King St. It proclaims hourâ€"long parking. Said sign, which said cars should park right up to the signâ€"post. also doubled as a bus stop. which means no parking, right? _ Next tt(;i'ng"you know, they‘ll actually be trying to convince us there really is enough parking in downtown Waterloo. _ And we thought the Brothers Grimm were the only ones with the Fairy Tales. "AIB Guides to Eliminate Sex GARDENER CHURCH