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_ _A man _ _ who cared > 4 Waterioo Chronicle, Wednesday, January 17, 1973 Published every Wednesday by Fairway Press, a division of Kitchenerâ€"Waterloo Record Ltd. 30 Queen St., N.. Kitchener Ontario Address correspondence to Waterloo Square Watâ€" erloo Ont. Telephone 744â€"6364. 8 . The energy crisis in the United States has been causing problems for a number of years. But it is now apparent that U.S. oil consumption is runâ€" ning way ahead of production. American oil wells produce almost 10 million barrels of oil every day, representing a quarter of the world‘s proâ€" duction. _ The days have passed when mightly powers can just take what they want. Today, the affluent lands of North America and Europe must buy much of their oil, and the energyâ€"hungry Ameriâ€" cans in particular must continue their search for alternative fuels that will not pollute the atmosâ€" phere. â€" The best lessons for mankind in the U.S. experâ€" ience are these: First, a nation should not beâ€" come too greedy and selfish, and should not enâ€" courage its citizens to consume more than the country can afford. Secondly, it is now all too clear that no nation â€" including the wealthiest of all nations â€" can be an island unto itself. For toâ€" day, all men must depend upon each other for the global good. The trouble is that the United States, with only a very small percentage of the world‘s total popâ€" ulation, consumes a third of all the oil being proâ€" duced on earth. The obvious injustice of such a situation cannot be allowed to last, and Ameriâ€" cans are the first to realize this. They are lookâ€" ing for other sources of energy. Slowly the knowledge is dawning upon the Unitâ€" ed States that the world is becoming totally inâ€" terdependent. For instance, the oil Americans use in a single year took nature no less than 140,â€" 000 centuries to produce â€" and even so there is an ample supply. But it is mostly located far from U.S. shores. More than 76 per cent of the world‘s recoverable oil lies in the Middle East. At the unveiling of the cairn in this park last summer Sam Smythe, president of the Kitchenâ€" erâ€"Conestoga‘ Rotary club said, ‘"There are not many people you can point to who have done more for Waterloo."‘ s A truly outstanding citizen, his contributions will continue to benefit others in the years that follow. Col. Hugh J. Heasley was buried this week but his name continues to beever present in the community in the form of Heasley Park. _ _ Those few words give the most accurate sumâ€" mary of a man who was instrumental in so many of our community‘s activities. It doesn‘t do his accomplishments justice to simply rhyme them off because each was as important as the other. Each must have been since he gave so much of his time to so many interests, ’ Col. Heasley compiled anincredible record in his lifetime made even more astonishing by the fact he was surrounded by so many people who didn‘t have time for even one community activity. â€" Having been widely acclaimed for his war acâ€" tivities and scouting efforts, Col. Heasley was certainly an asset to his many involvements. Last summer a small part of Waterloo was named after a man who had given a large part of himself to the city. â€" â€" Global interdependence In Canada : one year $8 ; in United States and Foreign countries: one year $10 SUBSCRIPTION RATES ESTABLISHED 1854 Wendy Herman, editor o Acoigh tfi e C lend .2 That‘s the humour of inâ€" congruity. Here‘s an exâ€" ample of the humour of heartlessness, of which a master:â€"was Harry Graham. Try writing some of your And as he relates the enâ€" suing carnage: "I noticed one gigantic fellow brandâ€" ishing a knotted towel, and striking right and left aâ€" mong our fellows, until Capâ€" tain Bilge rushed at him and struck him flat across the mouth with a banana skin." Here‘s Stephen Leacock describing an encounter with a pirate ship: ‘"The two ships were brought side by side. They were then lashed tightly together with bag string and binder twine, and a gangplank laid between them. In a moment the piâ€" rates swarmed upon our deck, rolling their eyes, gnashing their teeth and filing their nails." Whereby I decided to pass along some things that I consider amusing, with the hope that you will too. They‘re not original, and are culled from the centurâ€" The only funny or unusual thing around our place is my filing system. I just took a look at it, eighteen inches high all over my desk, pickâ€" ed up my typewriter and moved to the diningâ€"room table. There‘s nobody here but us crumbs. Some â€" columnists â€" are smart enough to keep a file of funny or unusual things that happened during the previous year, so that they have a readyâ€"made column just after New Year. So let‘s get off on the right foot for the next twelve months with something a little lighter. It was rather a gloomy end to 1972, with the deaths of scrappy Harry Truman and that fine Canadian, Mike Pearson, and the eternal shootings among the mad Irish, and the earthquake in Nicaragua. The ice upon our pond‘s so thin That poor Mamma has fallen im We cannot reach her from Bill Smiley Then, of course, there‘s the epigram, a very brief witty observation. Its mastâ€" er was Oscar Wilde, who came to a bad end, in more ways than one. But our samâ€" ple will be from Hillaire Belloc. Entitled On His Books. When / am dead. ! hope it may be said His sins were scarlet, but his books were read Isn‘t that a nice example of the pun, as well as saying in two lines something about the monstrous pride of the writer? Here‘s another by Belloc. It‘s called, simply, Epitaph On My Wife: If you hear the scream of a panther Don‘t anther. I can‘t resist one more Ogâ€" den Nash, and if you haven‘t read him, buy a copy. This is called Reflections On Iceâ€" Breaking. Candy Is dandy But liquor a Is quicker. 1 think that I shall never see A billboard lovely as a tree. Indeed, uniless the billboards fall, I‘ll never see a tree at all. That‘s typically American in theme and content, but here‘s a little couplet of his that is symbolic and univerâ€" sal: ‘‘The denunciation of the young is a necessary part of the hygiene of older people, and greatly assists the cirâ€" culation of their blood." How about a couple from Ogden Nash, that great huâ€" morist in verse. This one‘s entitled Song Of The Open Ah me. my heart grows weary waiting â€" Besides, I| want to have some skating. Another of his was: In the drinkingâ€"well Which the plumber built her Aunt Eliza fell; We must buy a filter. Here‘s a touch of the ironâ€" ic. And I‘d like to ask my friend Dr. Hackstetter to please note. the shore Until the surface freezes The Glenbriar rink stood undefeated at noon on Wedâ€" nesday, assured of top spot in the finals on Thursâ€" day. Meanwhile the "B" secâ€" tion battled it out for secâ€" ond spot until only Thelma Mitchell of Galt Curling Club remained with one loss â€" already â€" registered. With Thelima were Mary DeBruck, vice; Dorothy McKenzie, _ second, _ and Janice Wareham, lead. In order to win the district playdowns Galt had to take wins over the Glenbriar girls on Thursday. Exciteâ€" ment ran high as the Gait team crept up to win the first game in an extra end. Local rink captures District Four title The action was at Guelph Curling Club on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, January 9th to 1lith, a double knockâ€"out round robâ€" in with nine rinks entered. tive year a Glenbriar rink skipped by Nancy Woolley has captured the Southern Ontario Ladies Curling Asâ€" sociation district fourteen playdowns. With Nancy were Joyce Ruetz, vice; Janâ€" et Shirk, second and Donâ€" na Thatcher, lead. Here hhes my wite. Here lies she. Hallelujah! Hallelujee! Then there is the limerick. Some of the funniest (and foulest) verses in the langâ€" uage are found in this form. But this is simply clever, or cleverly simple. The bottle of perfume that Willie sent Was highly displeasing to Millicent ; Her thanks were so cold They quarreled. I‘m told Through that silly scent Wille sent Millicent. The fine art of satire has fallen into lethargy these days, except perhaps among political cartoonists, where * t Eio+ Here‘s some laughs to help your 1973 By Kay Gribble it is often merely cruel, raâ€" ther than witty. But the Roâ€" man satirist, Martial, wrote .a verse that is just as modâ€" ern as it was 2,000 years ago. The Glenbriar girls go on to division playdowns in Barrie on January 23, 24, and 25th. The winners from that competition proceed to Thunder Bay to play for the Ontario championship. That winner will represent Ontario in the Canadian Championship games to be held in Charlottetown, P.E.I. February 26th to March 2nd. In Brantford on Tuesday and Wednesday a Glenbriar rink skipped by Corinne Moffatt took fourth prize in the General Pest Conâ€" trol event with three wins and one loss. Other memâ€" bers of the rink were Marion Windley, vice; Terry Flagerty, second, and Sylâ€" via Peifer, lead. Many Canadians tend to takeâ€" life seriously. I hope these samples, ninety per cent of which were taken from school texts, will help dispell that preoccupation. So. Whether your troubles are kids, or parents, or old people, or unrequited love, remember, you have only one life. And this is it. Enjoy. In the afternoon game they held up well in the first few ends but in the seventh and eighth they dropped a four and a three to give Nancy a comfortable 12 â€" 6 lead. Galt took two in the ninth and didn‘t finish the tenth end. Games are called when it is mathematically imposâ€" sible to win, so when Joyce Ruetz passed the fifth opâ€" posing rock through ‘ house the game was over. The golden hair Fabulla wears ts hers. Who can deny it? She swears ‘tis hers, and true she swears For I did see her buy it: _ ~