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notes that dependency in it- ’self is not negative, it be- comes neurotic, she says, "when the individual de- nies his own needs and re- tinqtsisttes his own best interests out of fear and anxiety." I This happens frequently in marriage, she maintains, and it's usually the woman who does the relinquishing. dino it Mes Eben: pretty New York City. It all begins early in childhood, the psychiatrist points out, when boys are encouraged to be self- assertive while girls are not. made ti; feel aggressive and masculine and they generally react with guilt-". "Those girls who do as- sert themselves," Dr. Sy- monds points out, “are Yet the distinction must be made, she continues, be- tween self-assertion and ag- gression. Dr. Symonds describes self-assertion as, Marriage causg; "1frshtrLitt1 "a moving toward some- thing in one's own behalf," and aggression as "ahostile act against other people. 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They can develop psy- chosomatic ailments and phobias. Some may become "feminine" and More "ttOtt-man." girlsare devoting all their energies to tracking down a husband. "Most girls who do mar- ry, have given so little thought to their own develop- ment, they must live vi- cariously through their husbands and children." says Dr. Symouds. boys are developing their own interests and identities, Vicarious Living 742-9582 3,tlis tif 57iit,i) ii(i)'i'i')iiia, (Ili [rag WATERLOO BOWLING LAN ES CHILDRENS PARTIES... CLUB ACTIVITIES SPECIAL SENIOR CITIZENS BATES STUDENTS............. 'Cresrtttte' mothers. direct- ing their - at their chil- dren, Identity Crisis When the children eve-nyl- ally clam. the mature wanton. having seen themselves ex- clusively an rive; and. with “identity crisis Mr male Warm faced '0yearseprlier. .. - A Many feel so useless at this time. she says. they be- come frightened and quite depressed. 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