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Page 10, Terrace Bay-Schreiber News, Wednesday, June 10, 1987 You are an extraordinary person By Mich Barnes I wonder if things were meant to turn out this way? I was born into a family of large people. Everybody's six feet or more. My brothers all shop at Mr. Big and Tall. I'm the only one who shops at Mr. Short and Dumpy. So I'm the runt of the litter. Big deal, I'm not bitter. Besides, what can you do? Nature's made up its mind on this one. Height wasn't in the cards for me. And to think I started so tall: I was a big kid. I still have a long body. but around eleven years of age the legs quit growing. They sent a message to my pituitary: "Forget it." So what do you got? You got a guy with a tall body and little jockey legs, but life goes on and I've learned. to modify. I try to meet most women sitting down behind the wheel of a small car. They think I'm a giant of a man that the miners knew well. Then I step out, saunter up to the bar on sausages for legs. It ain't pretty. Turmoil builds character. Thank you, Mother. I jest. It's not that bad. I'm not that teeny-tiny. I don't go to the beach and lay on a face cloth. It's just that compared to the large members of my family, I'm the Joel Gray of the clan. But enough of me. How 'bout you? How did you turn out? Seriously, compared to the others in your family, I bet you werene the pretty one? And if you weren't, you certainly weren't the smartest. You were certainly the money mind of the bunch. Admit it, you shopped at Mr. Short and Dumpy. Sure, you have your good points, we all do. But compared to others -- your family, your friends -- you've such a long way to go. We are our worst enemies. Shakespeare was right: "Thus conscience be the cowards of us all." Where does it all stop? Wherever. you are, however you are, you're all right. There's no -money in_ needless comparison. There's only one of ANOTHER PROGRAM FROM ASSURED HOUSING FOR CNTARIO | = Thinking of upgrading your low-rise ren forgivable loans TOWN OF SCHREIBER Interest-free, Start here. fal building? Inneedot = /\ - essential repairs? oN Built ( O E 9} of 40 1960, ho5os () ne phone call can help 4 the cost of upgradingeach --_ one of you get loan assistance ai; «rental apartment. The the ways --up to $5,000 per unit with " ul oy, loan maximum is your pro- no repayment for five years. ur Sx $5,000 per unit. vincial Forgiveness can then be earned fe 3 Wbeeliaile soem: at ten per cent per year a ' ss i for financial ment if the property ae 4 assistance, apart- works to : tal ate 4 ments must be in remains reMlae 2! NN. buildings of less than five storeys. ES | ie preserve and stimulate rental housing throughout the province. The program will help to revi- talize some 17,000 older low-rise apartments across Ontario. If you feel you have a project that qualifies, talk to your muni- cipal office. We're willing and ready to help. All it takes is one About 30 per cent of Ontario's prior rental housing is in low-rise apartment buildings. Three out of every five of these buildings are more than 25 years old--many in need of major upgrading. Does your low-rise require such essential repairs as plumbing, wiring and heating? For low-rise buildings less than five storeys. The Low-Rise Rehabilitation Program offers landlords a forgiv- able loan of up to two-thirds of This program is designed for a variety of small rental buildings constructed before 1960--whether a low-rise, duplex or multiplex. Other criteria for project selection? - Your building must contain two or more rental apartments. Also eli- gible are apartments above stores. Find out if you qualify for assistance. Giving financial assistance to owners of low-rise buildings is just phone call. REHABILITATION Ministry of Housing Ontario Hon. Alvin Curling, Minister you, thank God. You are extraordinary. That | alone is special. Go from there. Be good to yourself -- you're worth it. Champions remarkably similar By John Futhey Lakehead Living Well, the Edmonton Oilers have won the Stanley Cup. Like the New York Mets winning last year's World Series, it came as no surprise to some. There's more, however, that joins these two teams than just being acknowl- edged as the best in their respec- tive sports. Disregarding a certain cocaine dependency, both possess a very -- dominant player. Wayne Gretzky probably means more to the Oil- © ers than Dwight Gooden does to © the Mets, but when-they are at the ~ top of their games, there is no i one better. As well as having the best players, both teams also hold © claim to the most overrated ones. © Hockey writers quickly over- | looked Grant Fuhr's all-too-fre- © quent 5 goal/23 shot performance © against inferior teams in the wake / of his relatively steady playoff -- goaltending. i Whenever he hits a home run, | the Mets' Darryl Strawberry's © large numbers of clutch strikeouts : are conveniently forgotten, how- -- ever inconsequential the home ~ run might be. i And now, after the Oilers' third Cup win, both are the teams -- everyone loves to hate. The Oil- ers are rapidly assembling their own lineup of Gary Carters, Len Dyskstras and Ray Knights in players like Gretzky, Kevin Lowe and coach Glen Sather. j As the Oilers and Mets resem- ble each other, so too do the fates of the losing teams in the two finals, the Philadelphia Flyers ana the Boston Red Sox. Philadelphia overcame a rash of injuries and a recent history of poor playoff performances to get within one a step of the Cup. 4 Boston played nail-biting baseball even to get to the Series, and had a courageous Bill Buckn- er made more painful play, Boston would have shed forever the "chokers" label. But this is modern sport's somewhat twisted version of "nice guys finish last." In recent years, the sentimental favourite has lost with unfortunate regular-" ity. Now it's just in hockey and baseball lore that gritty perfor- mances are rewarded with Stan- ley Cup and World Series rings. That historic thrill-of-the--- unexpected was felt when the Red Sox beat the Angles last fall" in the ALCS, and a tingle of the same head rush was remembered _ after the gutsy Detroit Red Wings won Game 1 of their semi-final over the Oilers, a feeling that vanished very quickly after that: contect_ 4 { j 4 ] 1