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PAGE 12 TERRACE BAY NEWS by Bill Smiley , ONTARIO DEPARTMENT OF LANDS AND FORESTS FOR SALE BY TENDER Year Lands & Forests No. Descript. & Series No 1/2 Ton 4 wheel drive Pick-up International 1 1962 548 1 1962 549 1 1962 700 1. 1962 691 -\Mehicles will be sold onan "as is basis". les may be inspected at the Department of Lands and CW16294B 1/2 Ton 4 wheel drive Pick-up International CW16287B 1/2 Ton Pick-up Ford 90904A-6661022 1/2 Ton Pick-up: Chevrolet 2C 143610 2C 143610509A Forests at White River, Ontario. Tenders must be submitted individually, by vehicle Tenders must be accompanied with a certified check for the full amount of tender price, payable Vehic- Dr. Smiley's remedy Well, the old 'flu bug, or something equally virulent, hit me on the weekend. This col- umn comes to you via gobs of asprin, hot toddies and sheer will-power. Sunday morning, I woke up feeling like a mackerel. Not just out of the sea, fresh and quivering. No. One of those that have been gutted, pack- aged, frozen and then cooked over a hot fire and re-frozen and re-cooked. My wife had several theo- ries, as usual. First, I had a hangover, plain and_ simple. There's no such thing, but I reminded her that we'd spent the previous evening quietly watching television and fight- ing as usual. Proof positive came when she offered me a hair of the dog and I recoiled in horror. Next, she decided I was going through the change of life, with those hot and cold flushes. I pointed out that my breasts hadn't grown, and that I wasn't growing any more hair on.-head; face or legs, which have always been like didn't have a sore throat or the snuffles or the sneezes. But I haven't felt like that since Oc- tober, 1944, when five burly Germans set about me with fists, boots and rifle-butts, for some trifling crime which I can't even recall. And I took the same escape this time that I did that time. I read. That time, after they cooled off, the | Germans brought me a couple of books. But I lay there, in a box-car, on a siding in the Utrecht sta- tion-yard in Holland, and read Upton Sinclair. Since I was a dangerous criminal, my wrists were wired together, as were my ankles. There- were no handcuffs. It took some physi- cal manoeuvring, and I could see out of only one eye, but I read. And the pain floated away. About the third night, the Feldwebel in charge actually brought me a tin of poisonous coffee and we talked, in a gar- ble of English, | German, French. We had only the most rudimentary idea of what the other chap was talking about, to the Department of Lands and Forests, White River. Tender closing date is 12.00 o'clock noon, Febru- ary 26th, 1968. Tenders will be received in an en- velope marked "Truck Tender" and addressed to the District Forester, Department of Lands and Forests, an Airedale's. She was discom- bobulated. Finally, she proclaimed it was food poisoning, because Kim and I are always thawing fish and stuff and then re- freezing it, for some reason. but it bucked me up. I think he felt better, too. i It was about the same last weekend. I read. I could read for only about ten minutes at a shot, without half-fainting. But amidst the fever and the cups White River, Ontario. The highest or any tender is not necessarily accep- ted. W.D. TIEMAN, Acting District Forester. THE HOME TEAM "Well, we lost show off!" 'starts demanding , to Obviously I'd. had bad fish. Turned out we'd had steak, all fresh. Couldn't convince her that I might have the 'flu, which has been knocking people on their keisters for weeks at a time around here, all winter. That's because I never get sick. Or rather, I'm half-sick all the time, but never take a day off. When I do, about. every three years, she panics and where the insurance policies are. I never have a clue, so I just groan and say, "Leemee- lone!" Which increases her anxiety problems, which are al- ready Grade A. Whatever it was, I take back all my public and private utter- ances about people who've had the flu this winter. In public, "Pampering yourself. Take some whiskey and an aspirin." Or, to myself, "What a slacker. Do anything for a few days off work." I didn't have a headache. I wasn't sick at the stomach, I know of coffee proffered by my per- sonal, local Feldwebel, I re- read "The Last Enemy" by Ri- chard Hillary, and the new "And Now Here's Max", by Max Ferguson, CBC and free- lance radio comedian. Hillary was a young English- man, Oxford, upper-class, ego- tistical, self-centred, who real- ized through his own suffering (he was shot down and terribly burned) man's inhumanity te man, the universality of suffer- ing. It was his only book. He was killed later in a night- fighter. It took me back into a world of training and night- flying and Spitfires that was like re-living an epoch. Ferguson's. book is con- sciously funny, but it is funny. And. both writer's are indivi- dualists who offer some hope to all the rest of us, who fear we are being ground between the upper and nether mill- stones of the twentieth centu- ry. Get the 'flu. Read. Simple. Toronto Teleqram News Service