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 Cf-'^i^l.^^'-^'^T- ' ' 1' â-  'fiiQ. Is ot only were, 'ons of the hoi':^, Uile reception, nwde i an papers, falsified, b] irther sucoesa of maki. k-ck. Tue old Chan;ieS au idea that the whJ of Doth the Berlin a.s going to be maw IS not his habit toH Jroceeded on ihia theJ r war on all things EJ ;tty bitter and certaL kught while it lasted, 1 Q aeen appears to h eai of the miaondenta uring the interview d i Chancellor stated va ounda of grievance wd probable that the Qm] k. At any rate ihel for the time beia prove lasting. Th3 heard of the Chancell man press, which alvJ g, is just now m It aJ iasm over a aovereif at;o one would hi kve been at least tani she dared to come t the Kaiser's condi:] ic local malady has i nething like the atatel he left San Bemo, ' r and loss of nonriahnid ;€ recent criaia have l| much worse than it B is very weak and wd cians' present task ii I ;th again in time t hi le next outbreak of if n it cornea. The officj provement day by 18 phase of hia conditi nderstood to mean tU )f mastering and eradiq 16 throat or even keep^ le in abeyance, â€" -^ ver Wedding. cikingham Palace K mm offer her congratalati^ Princess. Similar vi^ I Mayor, waoi^^- rincess at Marlborc- ed an address and » « mperial Institute, silver, in keepwg j:„,Oai7ed m toe SjATEEfi. ^^ CHARLOTTE M. YONGE. g^lER XXIX (CONTINUED.) • nrance office aoundathe best, and T!« "fh. least shock to onr belongings," Ifi^^ le • but it seema to lead to noth- L^Luid »°* g^* on unless we bad L. /*' i-vest, and even if we had any, lipi* Z.-t catch us doing that again " **°"^Mr button advise that?" 'â- â- r" 'only thought we would Uke it "^°'hnt we are quite past caring for peo- "" i-Ls in the matter. They couldn't â- ^^'^S than they do. I incline to ^^ ° d Co One of them was once in the " T m thence besidea Mark woald |ji=? gthing to do besides desk work. '°f^ have to judge of samples, and see ^^'°fkin' in and storing of ?oods. He h-f.^ something about that, and I'm r' ul'l ag"^^ ^^*^ ^^^ better than an r" *ted high stool, with his nose to a •^uhonld like it better," ' T -aright 1 Now I have got some one to Besides, rising is possible, if one gets |»y-° fy] I mean to be Mrs. Alderman, " "' y Lady Mayoress, before we have â- '°' Then they have a great big almost ^â- "" A ,Pt of rooms over the warehouse, J'ie Light live and look after the â- â€¢' Oh ' but should you like that? u, Utttton wants to live out m some of suburban places, where it seems there is riect population of clerks' families in J' 'I detached houses. He says we should l*;'y„ks railway fair, rent, and all in ' -cte' bills. But people, children and all, "iveand thrive in the City and I think r, 1 5 health will be better looked after if I m there to give him his mid-day bite and Lf and brush him up, than if he is left to I'Tr for himself and as to exercise for the VL boy, 'tis not far to the Thames Em- iLiment. The only things that stagger IrTare the blacks 1 I don't know whether hf is long enough to be after the blacks all |.:i„,a hut perhaps I shall get med to Ltloag, but perhaps "Well, I think that would be worse." "Perhaps it would and at any rate, if a blacks do beat me, we could move. 'sink no rent, nor rates nor taxes â€" that is L inducement to swallowâ€" noâ€" to contend riii any number of black moora, isn't it 'if they settle on the tip ot Billy-boy's 'i could come to see you tetter there lian out in a suburb," said Muttie. _^ " But liiiat do these rooms look out upon " "On one side into their own court, on the aer into Wulstan Streetâ€" a quiet place on ie ifholeâ€" all walls and warehouses and lieres an excellent parish church, Mr. "jderwood's so I think we might do Jnrse," Sattie was very sorry that the gentle- iitn came up, and Mr, Fane wandered ;j! and began aaking whether they lere going to the rose show. Somehow ha that evening she became conscious that Lmaple looked at her and Mr. Fane jather -jiously and when they met again the :fi[ day, and having grown Intimate over ie introduction of the two little boys, were inving out together, there were questions libont whether she saw much of him. " Oh, I don't know I He is the nicest, ID die whole, of papa's friends he can talk liiomething besides" â€" Nuttie paused over pi "besides," â€" " horseyness, and all that port of thingâ€" he is not so like an old satyr ii some of them are; and so he is a re- |ioiirce," " " I see. And you meet him elsewhere, [icii't you, in general society " " I don't go out much now that Lady liiikaldy is not in town but he always MBS to turn up everywhere that one |m«." " Ursula, I'm very glad of that tone of ;ecn, I was afraid " "Afraid of what " cried Nuttie in a de [iattone. "That you liked him, and he is not really ^», Nuttie. Mark knows all about him wd so did I when I lived With the Del- lias." Suttie laughed rather bitterly. " Thank |?«B, Annaple. As if I cowZd care for that |an_or he for me, for that matter I sow but too well," she added gravely, "'hx nobody nice is ever intimate at heme." "I beg your pardon. I would not have I 'arried you about it, only I think you must I *»e care, Nuttie, for Blanche mentioned it â- '^Bslast winter." 'Blanche is an arrant gossip If she sw a grandfather and great grandmother ?isiping'she would say they were going to â- 'married." ,, les, as Mark says, one always swallows ^â- inche with a .jualification." " Vou may be quite sure, Annaple, that -o-jhuiglike that will ever be true about me 1 'â- 'y. what would ever become of my poor "le Wyn if I was so horrid as to want to sad marry?" I ^M said it with an ineffable tone of con- -^PMust like the origmal Nuttie, who 1 â„¢ to be' recalled by association with I iinaple. ' •aat sojouru of Mark and his wife at _^wugtield House was a bright spot in that •^aer. If it had been only that Annaple 's .â- ;«ence gave the free entree to such an J^^ofoIdMicklethwayte, it would have ° » great pleasure to her but there was «s the happiness of confidence and un- w ""' theu: society, a restful enioy- ^J,°?'y to he appreciated by living the ^iew °* constraint that was hers. J. *?f"6ldom thrown among people whom '»«ldadmire andlook up to Annaple told 5on r,r of Xuttie's vehement repudia "^01 any intention of marriage. "Ian J; '"tie too strong. •Hi^. *ho came to her first ball, and 'm^^A P'°^ "' oat of the hole in Blue- ""Qgc, had anything to do with it." iJ^Pj* had an opportunity of judging. 'aeS^ ^P^'^i not have brought about lettij^ which might be painful and un- Xt{ri?J^VOth; but one afternoon, when j^ewas "off duty" with her father, 'iickti.*^'^® into share Annaple'a five 'ttite t^' ,^""d Godfrey, looking the i^j,^ wim head to foot, made hia appear- •iont Jill's "Jme aP from the far east, IheJ^t"^l on Mr. Button's purse. •^ » Ibu. u ?^ ^*"'*8 *itl» pleaaeS surpriae, fll Saw! k"f v***"" "f «"°'"» ^°* *•" "" ^ed Mib ' oat to luncheon, and WM ^liiiev^r"?*" fashionable yomifflady ^M ill"^*^«^ after the daaaes and •« ichook of hl« diaMot had been marriage, "i am "t? meant it," she observed, " it was '"tie too strnnor I wondcr if that discussed, he aaked, " And I suppose you are taking part in everything here " "No, that I can't!" ** " Indeed I know Porlock, the second curate here, very well, and he tells me that his vicar has a wonderful faculty of finding appropriate work for every one. Of course you know him " •| No, I don't," said Nuttie. " Miss Egremont has her appropriate work," said Mr. Dutton, and the deacon felt liimBelf pushed into his old position at Micklethwayte. He knew the clergy of the district very well, and how persis- tently either Mr. Egremont, or perhaps Gregorio, prevented their gaining admittance at his house and he guessed, but did not know, that Nuttie could not have got into personal intercourse with them without flat disobedience. Annaple threw herself into the breach, and talked of St. Wulstan's and the en- counter ended, leaving the sense of having drifted entirely away from one another, and being perfectly heart whole, though on the one hand Ursula's feeling wa s of respect and honour; and Gerard's had a considerable element of pity and disap obation. " No " said Annaple when they were gone, " he will not cry like the kloarek in the Breton ballad who wetted three, great missals through with his tears at his first mass. He is very good, I am sure, but he is a bit of a prig " "It is very hard to youth to be good with- out priggishness," said Mr. Dutton. " Self- assertion is necessary, and it may easily be carried too far. " "Buttresses are useful, but they are not beauties," rejoined Annaple. The warehouse arrangement wsks finally adopted, and after the three weeks necessary for the cleaning and fitting of their floor, and the bringing in of their furniture, Mark and Annaple began what she termed " Life among the Blacks." Nuttie had great designs of constantly see ing Annaple, sending her supplies from the gardens and preserves at Bridgefield, taking her out for drives, and cultivating a friend- ship between Alwyn and Willie, who bad taken to each other very kindly on the whole. They could not exactly understand each other's Ismguage, and had great fights from time to time over toys, for though there was a year between them they were nearly equal is strength but they cared for each other's company more than anything else, were always askiufr to go to one another, and roared when the time of parting came at least Alwyn did j unreservedly, for Nuttie had begun to perceive with compunction that Billy -boy was much the most under control, and could try to be good kt his mother's word, without other bribe than her kiss and smile. Ah but he had a mother CHAPTER XXX. NtlTTIE's PROSPECTS. " Three hundred pounds and poaai^'ilities." Merry Wives of Windsor. Again Nuttie's plans were doomed to be frustrated. It did not prove to be half so easy to befriend Mr. and Mrs. Mark Egre- mont as she expected, at the distance of half London apart, and with no special turn for being patronised on their side. Her father took a fancy for almost daily drives with her in the park, because then he could have Alwyn with him and the little fellow's chatter had become his chief amuse- ment. Or if she had the carriage to herself, there was sure to be something needful to be done which made it impossible to go into the city to take up and set down Mrs. Mark Egremont and to leave her to make her way home would be no kindness. So Nut- tie only accomplished a visit once before going out of town, and that was by her own exertions â€" by underground railway and cab. Then she found all going prosperously the blacks not half so obnoxious as had been expected (of course not, thought Nuttie, in the middle of the summer) the look-out over the yard very amusing to Billy-boy and the large old-fashioned pannelled rooms, so cool and airy that Annap'e was quite de- lighted with them, and contemned the idea of needing a holiday. She had made them very pretty and pleasant with her Mickle- thwayte furniture, whose only fault was being on too small a scale for these larger spaces, but that had been remedied by piecing and making what had been used for two serve one. The kitchen was on the same floor, close at hand, which was well, for Annaple did a good deal there, having only one young maid for the" rougher work. She had taken lessons in the School of Cookery, amd prac- tised a good deal even at Micklethwayte, and she was proud of her skill and economy. Mark came in for his mid-day refreshment, and looked gieatly brightened, as if the worst had come and was by no means so bad as he expected. All the]tirae he had been at Mr. Button's he had been depresaed and anxious, but now, withhisTioy on hia knee, he waa merrierthan Nuttie had everknownhim. As to exerciae, there were delightful evening walks, sometimes early marketings in the long summer mornings before business be- gan â€" and altogether it seemed, as Nuttie told her father afterwards, as if she had had a glimpse into a little City Arcadia. " Hein " said he, " how long will it last " And Nuttie was carried away to Cowes, where he had been persuaded to recur to his old favourite sport of yachting. She would have rather liked this if Clarence Fane had not been there too, and continually haunting them. She had been distrustful of him ever since Annaple's warning, and it became a continual worry to the motherless gu:l to decide whether his civil attentions really meant anything, or whether she were only foolish and ridiculous in not accepting them as freely and simply as before. Of one thing she became sure, namely, that Gregorio was doing whatever in him lay to bring them together. In this seaside temporary abode, great part of the London establishment waa left behind, and Gregorio condescended to act the part of butler, with only a single man- servant under him, and thus he had much more opportunity ot regulating the admisaiou of visitors than at home and he certainly often tamed Mr. Fane in upon her, when she had intended that gentleman to be ex- cluded, and contrived to turn a deaf or nu- comprehending ear when she desired that there should be no admission of visitors un- less her father was absolutely ready for them and also there were times when he must have auMested an mvitotion to dinner, OT a joining m» sail. No doubt, Gregorio would haro been deUghted to see her mar- ried, and to be thna free from any counter faS^enoe over hia maater but a. ^aaid to S^iCatohmel Even if I cared a mah for the man, I could not do it. I don't do my phor father much good, but aa to leaving poor little Alwyn in lua cluteheaâ€" I mut be perfectly demented with love even to think of it." There was a desire on the valet'a part to coax and court little Alwyn of which ahe felt somewhat jealous. The boy waa natur- ally the pet of every one in the honsehold, but he was much less out of Gregorio's reach in the present confined quarters, and sbe could not bear to see him lifted up in the valet's anna, allowed to play with his watoh, held to look at distant sails on board the yacht, or even fed with sweet biscuits or chocolate creams. The Rectory nursery had gone on a strict regimen and nurse was as angry as Nuttie herself but there was no preventing it, for his father was not above cupboard love, and never resist: d the entreaties that were always excited by the sight of dainties, only laugh- ing when Nuttie remonstrated, or even say- ing, " Never mind, sister Wynnie, she's got Mrs. Teachem's cap on," and making the child laugh by pretending to smuggle in papers of sweete by stealth, apart from the severe eyes of sister or nurse. That cut Nubtie to the h?art. To speak of the evils for which self indult(ence waa a preparation would only make her father sneer at her for a second Hannah Moore. It was a language he did not understand and as to the physical unwfaolesomeness he simply did not choose to believe it. She almost wished Alwyn would for once be sick enough to frighten him, but that never happened, nor would he accept nurse s statement of the boy being out of order. Poor little Alwyn, he was less and less of an unmixed joy to her as he was growing out of the bounds of babyhood, and her no- tions of discipline were thwarted by her father's unbounded indulgence. To her the child was a living soul, to be trained for a responsible position here and for the eternal world beyond to her father he was a de- lightful plaything, never to be vexed, whose very tempers were amusing, especially when they teased the serious elder aister. " Oh, father do you ever think what it will come to " Nuttie could not help say- ing one day when Mr. Egremont had pre- vented her from carrying him off in disgrace to the nursery for tying the rolls up in din- ner napkins te enact Punch and Judy, in spite of his own endeavors to prevent the consequent desolation of the preparations. Mr Egremont shrugged his shoulders, and only observed, " excuse for a little home tyranny, eh No, no, Wyn we don't want tame little muffs here." Nuttie was obliged to run out of the rtora and â€" it must be confessed â€" danee and stamp out her agony of indignation and misery that her father should be bent on ruinisg his child, for she could not understand that all this was simply the instinctive self-indul- gence of a drugged brain and dulled con- science. She did, however, get a little support and help during a brief stay in the shooting season at Bridgefield. 'The Canoness was visiting the Condamines at the Rectory, and very soon understood all the state of thinga, more perhaps from her former nurse than from Ursula. She was witness to one of those trying scenes, when Nuttie had been forbidding the misuse of a beautiful elabor- ate book of nursery rhymes, where Alwyn thought proper to " kill" with repeated stabs the old woman of the shoe, when preparing te beat her progeny. (to be C!0NTINXJBD) Took Fleasnie in Torture. " The queerest fellow I ever have taken across the mountains," said the Russian captain, " was a young stanovoi (commissary of police) named Popoff. There waa nothing peculiar about hia appearance he looked much like many other atanovois, but in his black eyes there waa a fire that you can only detect in the eyes of a hungiy wolf. Think- ing of him, I often wondered what strange characters our mother Roasia is capable of produ(5ing. Popoff was sentenced to depor- tation; had I been his judge I would have had him flogged to death. !ifou fellows know that flogging is a common thing in the villages and towns of mother Russia. The peasant is flogged when unable to pay hia taxes be is flogged if hecesaes to worship his icons and priest and joins aome sect ;he is flogged in some parts of our beloved coun- try, for refusing to give up Roman Cath- olicism, for instance, and jom our only aonl- saving Greek Catholic Church. Certainly, you know that very well yourself, no need wasting words. But you don't know of any cases where flogging has been practis ed as an art and amusement. Popoff did it He waa gifted by natore with a peculiar ferocity, and he took lively pleasure in such scenes, Ivan, the Terrible, also used to feel a tickling sort of pleasure when men and women were being tortured and cut to pieces before his eyes. The wretch used to revel in such exercises. Men and women, old and young, strong and weak, all had to be flogged at least once a month, for it so pleased the stanovoi. By hu orders the rods were heated in an oven to make them more flexible, and were sprinkled with salt, or else rubbed with a wet rag dipped in salted water. The blows, instead of following quickly one after another, were given with long intervals between, besides being iiiflict- ed with such violence that the victims lost their senses. Buriug the whole time of the punishment the unfortunate victims, having on only their shirts, were.Iying on the floor, in an unheatedroom, with several degrees of frost in the air, while he â€" the stenovoi, Popoffâ€" was leisurely walking to and fro wrappedin furs ad rejoicingat his victim's sufferings. The enjoyment Popoff derived from such practices was so great that he never accepted any apologies or excuses from or on behalf of those who were con- demned to undergo the heartless punishment. Even when the ' Mir' (the peasants' com- mune), pitying some old or sick man, depo- sited for him the sum he was owing in taxes the atanovoi took the money but declared that the man would be punished just the same. All this had bsei proved by eye- witneaaea. Popoff waa tried for cruelty and having caused the death of many unfor- tunates at the City of Riazan in March 1879. Now in Siberia he Is a ee course." of What E« Wanted to See. A naughty little boy waa blabbering be- cause hia mother wouldn't let him go down to the river on the Sabbath, and npon being admoniahed aaid "I didn't want to go a-twimmin' with 'em, ma I only want to go down and â€" and we the bad little boya get diowned fw • awimn^' «n Sonda^" l%e Condition of Cuba. A letter from Cuba shows that that fine Island ia in a moat deplorable condition. If the acconnt which the correapondent givea ia anything like true, Cuba could hardly be worae governed than it is. The Poat ooe ia not to m depended upon, letters are open- ed, delayed and in aome caaea deatroyed, magazines and illuatrated papers appropria- ted, and novela are read by tne officials and sent te their destination dirty and dogseared. So unreliable ia the Cuban post office that those who have important letters to aend a knowledge of whose contenta they wish to withhold from the authorities, must find some safer means of conveying them than the postal department supplies. The Custom House has been seized by the military authorities and is now in their possession, but the revenue does not show that the ad- ministration of the soldiers is a whit more honest than waa that of the civiUana. Worse than this, life and property are not safe on the Island. " Never before in the world's history," writes the correspondent, " has lawlessness been more complete and murder more common With perfect impu- nity murderers ply their daggera in the streets of Havana in the broad day." A Cub- an newspaper is quoted as saying " As- saults, thefts, murders are daily occurrences throughout the Island." Another journal conffrms this in the following terms "The worst of it is that the footpads do not alone beaet and rob, but on the slightest provoca- tion employ the dagger or pistol, and thus have already caused the death of many emin- ent and peaceful citizens." Within the last mouth no fewer than seven citizens while engaged in their daily avocationa were kid- napped by the brigands. One of them a wealthy planter, Senor Galindezy Aldama, was not liberated until he paid a ranaom of S17,000 in gold. The press is muzzled, and Cuba, in the words of the correspondent, "is fast sinking into a condition of utter lawless- ness and despair." As a Dictator. In the preface to the memoirs. Garibaldi advocates on the very first pa^ze â€" writing in 1872 â€" the necessity of " an honest and tem- porary dictetorship" for nations like France, Spain, and Italy, as distinguuhed from the state of things in England. Repeatedly he recurs to that idea. It was a fixed one with him, as I had occasion to find in 1864. Hav- ing one day. in company with my wife, tak- ing him from the charmed circle in which he was then somewhat confined in the house of the Buke of Sutherland, and conducted him from my house, first to Ledru Rollin and then to Louis Blanc, questions relating to future action were then and there dis cussed. "Are you still a Republican?" Mme. Ledru- Rollin asked him pointblank, with that directness of speech which is the privilege of ladies. " Certainly " he an- swered. Then he added " If the time should come for renewing the movement for a Com- monwealth in Italy 1 believe a dictator will have to be appointed by way ot transition in order to insure success." Nobody among us doubted whom he had in view. Owing to his bringing up as an ordinary seaman and his freebooter's life abroad Garibaldi, in 1849, was, in culture of mind, even less to be com- pared to Mazzini than in later years. Of his natural intellectual aptitode I confess I hold a higher opinion than some of his de- mocratic compatriote would acknowledge. I am also convinced that his so-called sim- plicity waa far lesa than appearances might seem to warrant. This was my distinct im- pression from personal observation, espe- ciidly when, the appointed spokesman^of the Germans in London, 1 was invited by him to see him in the Isle of Wight, before his entry into Lendon, on which occasion many political questions were confidentially dis- cussed. However, Mazzini would openly say among friends, with a somewhat startl- ing candor " I am the head, he is the arm of our cause 1" Such claims and counter- claims could not but create a deal of friction. Froit Without Seeds. It is well known that high cultivation tends toproduce fruit containing fewer seeds, until at last all the powers of the tree or plant are directed to the periecting of the pulp. In some cases no seed appears. The finest varieties of plantains and bananas, pineapples and bread-fruit have no seeds. Of course, all such trees and plante have t^ be propagated from shoots or cuttings. It has been a common belief that the lite of such plants could not be prolonged inde- finitely. In the case of the apple and the orange this is true. The trees have to be raised from seeds, and the seedless varieties are grafted upon these. Such vari3tie8 of fruit could not arise in a state of nature. They are the result of se- lection by the early races of mankind. It must have been the case that ths fruit was abundant, sc that people were content only with the best. It must also have been a fa- vorite, if not a necessairy article of food, or men wonld not have improved it by careful selection. Humboldt thought that some species of the plantain were native to America, but the early discoverers made no mention of finding it here. If we could prove it to be native, it would raise our estimate of the civilization of the people. As the case stands, the probability is that these seedless fruits were first produced in the East Indies, and from that point have been carried around the world. The name of the banana indicates that it was given in the East, and that the fruit was a leading one in the ancient markets. Let Us Work Efumestly. The true laborer is not only worthy of his hire, but in one sense, certain of his wages the higher wages which the Great Master has not placed at the disposal of man, or in the control of the capitalists the sure and sweet reward for which all earnest souls would strive, were there no such a thing as money returns for toil. For real singers must sing, real preachers preach, true painters paint, and geniuses of all kinds labor for tJie anbtle satisfaction that work itself affords. For to them " No endeavor ia in vain. Its reward is in the doing_ And the rapture of pursuing Is the prize the vanquished gain." Butfor those who work in weariness inatead of rapture, there is also a great reward, for the acquired luabito of one generation often become the natural traita of the next And tiiaa eacb noUe deed ia crowned with im- mortality. There areneariy 300.000 CUnamen ia the United StaXm. Stallions Whipped by a Jack. A wildatallion teara no beast except Oe grizzly, and will not alwaya flinch from aa encounter with it; yet it ia a curious fae* that a Jack will almost alwaya kill oa» in » fair fight. The particulara of a fivht of *i» w kind were related to me by a cattle ««»» who was engaged in bringing out UoodeA stock from the Eaat. Among the iLi»im«.% under his charge were two great ntnlfimw, one gray and one black, and a fine ytckaaa;*. not much over half the size of either ot tba former. The animals were kept in sepamt* pens, but one day both horses got into Hi* same inclosure, next to the jack-pen, began to fight as only enraged stallions i striking like boxers with their fore feet biting with their teeth. The gray w_ (cetting the best of it, but while dincfacd with his antagonut in onetnssel they roUfd against the jack-pen, breaking it in. Nt» sooner was the jack at liberty than, with ears laid back and mouth wide open, he made straight for the two horses, who had for the moment separated. The gray turned to meet him rearing on his hind legs and striking at him with his fore feet but the jadk slipped in, and in a minute grasped his antagonist by the throat with his wide op^ jaws and then held on like a bulldog, all four feet planted stiffly in the soiL The stallion made tremendous efforts to shake him off he would try to whirl round iysd kick him, but for that the jack was too short then he would rise up, lif tin? the ^ick off the ground, and strike at him with hia fore feet but all that he gained by this was to skin his foe's front legs withouv nukk- ing Him lose his hold. Twice they fell and twice the stallion rose, by main strength dragging the jack with him but all in viob. Meanwhile the black h')rse attacked both the combatante with periect impartiality, striking and kicking them with his hooiu, while his teeth as they slipped off the tongh hides met with a snap like that of a bear trap. Undoubtedly the jack would have killed at least one of the horses had not thtt men come up and with no small difficulty separated' the maddened brutes. â€" Century^ â€" It's a Poor Eule that Won't Work Bot Ways. Landlady (to applicant for board)â€" Have you children, madam Applicant â€" No. Landlady â€" ^You are fortunate, for we never take families who have children. Applicant â€" Have you any children Landlady â€" Yes, two. Applicant â€" Well, you are unfortunate, for we never board with families who have children. Spoiled His Own Breakfast. Husband (at the breakfast table)â€" Why,, where ia the mackerel I brought home last night? Wife â€" Bo you reier to the mackerel yon brought home thia morning Husbandâ€" Er-yes, it was this mominj^ perhaps. Wifeâ€" You put it to soak, John, is a p«n of soft soap, and the cook had to throw it away. Likes a Chanfi:e. Mistress (at breakfast)â€" Bridget, I told you to always bake the potatoes, not fry them. Bridget â€" Yia, mum: but it's not meaatt that can ate baked potatys sivin mornina in the wake. A Foolish Extravagance. "Young man," he said, aolemnly, "what would you think if I should put an enemy into my mouth to steal away my brains?" " I would (hie) think, sir," hiccoughed the young man, " that you were going toan unnecessary expense." A Man with a Conscience' Wife (to husbamd, in the grocery buri- ness) â€" John. I do wish that you would join the church and become a Christian. You promised me yOu wonld. Husband â€" I know I did, Maria, and I will but I've got to work off that stock c^ maple sugar first. I'm no hypocrite. An "Arabian Nights " Story. " I have called â€" " began the lady. " Ah, yes," said the editor, with a deep sigh, " in regard to that MS. story of yours which I returned with thanks last week " " Yes. Iâ€"" " I know," interrupted the editor, ner- vously, " but you see we are so overcrowded with matter at present that â€" " "ButIâ€" " "Exactly. Your story had much to recomniend it. I read it with great interest, I assure you â€" " «« J, " " With great interest really but I re- gret to say that it did not ejcactly meet our requirements. You might send it to â€" " " If Iâ€"" "No, I don't think it would suit us, even if you rewrote it, as you were about to sug- gest, for â€" " "Butâ€"" "No, I assure you there was no personal feeling in the matter â€" not the slightest." " I haveâ€"" " My dear lady I am aware that you are the sole support of an aged mother and au invalid sister â€" all our feminine contributors are- butstmâ€" " ,, "Mr.-" " Yes, of course, your friends all say that yonr story is equal to anything that ever appeared in our columns, and I â€" " â-  "But, sirâ€" " " You might send us something at some future timeâ€" say in about a year and a half or two years. Then we â€" " ' Will you listen to me a moment, air " " Beg your pardon, ma'am." "I only called to aay that, having reread the story I sent you, I am convinced that it^ is destitute of merit, and I wish to apologize for having sent is to you." The editor rose to his feet, uttered a low, blood- curdling laugh, and hastily took his departure from a world which had become too eood for him. A Competent Hnise. Mistress (to applicant)â€" Yes I have ad- vertisod for a nurae. Are you competent te take care of young children mpn ^:-l '"â- ;;' â- 'â- â-  I â- :â- *. â-  ... •*' :- i .r :.l "â- M--M Applicant--Oh, yia, mum. Ifiatraas-r â- Yon never give them par^foric to quiet them? Applicant â€" ^Niver, mum. I alien prefem laudanam. ^^rv-.-.'i-;vi^;'rf«-