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Markdale Standard (Markdale, Ont.1880), 17 Nov 1887, p. 7

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 ...,v, v.^S*. â-  the n»r«h i3*i*_ llhen the kS."** »Sr*l |°g«d from d'S tRS h Were Kiu^d. â-  '» "-^produce the fi S" J Here 13 what fMi "lii. |offio.r,ledthevS.»«d.= ' |°- The day nt^"'"'iovd [rm. The cloU'^If *• id the sun were fl " M rn oppressively ' "tel FcarredvU';ans^,2^t,, J-who had helned t iS**" [teat:r?a ^u shirk you7dXrs2 ti, .VfJ^'^^ohargiSi' kahall," aaid the^S ^J- miled and rode away Y-vzvandaere to care for fe jte Last of Earth. »v_-ii it D.-ath Kf^iDgrt.Uopona,ewi., *. sM^"" ..S of ill things yet b«mn SJ*'"' nf Me the rodden ?loom, 'Srtl*«f"'7/thetaexorable doom, j!S.i"«li breath 7 it imlihmWX^ lawyer, Hulliea4ati» ^*o^ve Iie» sodden in ths rain, fW" ^MrfeSTh quickens to ^rowtt .gMn "« die '"'„vrHer season's lavish dower To»tf' Erelong f*^*- ^en-Death has passed 7„f^ence and of cloud, UK ' '^f.nd wherein no bird is loud »^"'"«vrt*"h song and blossom nfe. if' ""'rn; sM CO over Death and Lile- W-=«P" But Life IS last! glSsMHER By t hablotte i. yoGK. CH^ BHUlg' PTER IV.â€" (COSTIKUED.) ^, thel^^r^'or,^ ,^a I wish to hear aU the details," had ordS't"^g.l:KicerTand gentle answer reproduce 2.\ f!^*,^ jher with me generally in the hoh- Al coofess I was absolutely alarm- •"' Thow pretty the chUd was growing, '"bo* great a disadvantage it often ;he was always a good girl, not natural- ,„^ious as could be wished, but docile, '^i a favorite with every one «cnliarly innocent and chUdish. I Jherto remain a few years longer as â- Vr but it 80 happened that Lady Ade- '^rE^remont, coming to consult the head t hVatablishment about a nursery-gover- «w Alice, and was so much struck iher sweet face, which was all sunshine \Z as to insUt on engaging her." rnh ' my dear sister, I remember her Lhnaiastic letter about her^ pretty gover- ns and her boy's affection for her, an af- y'on that has lastedâ€" â€"" â-  It seemed so safe. A clergyman s famUy t the country, and so kinda lady at the \A that thou?h Ahce had been educated It a superior governess it appeared Ae L beginning she could have. And she Uverv happy, and met with great kind- Only, unfortunately, Lady Adelaide l«i delicate, and for many weeks entirely Lfined to the sofa. Mr. Egremont's elder Lther was much there. He seemed to my Lr, inexperien jed child quite elderly, and attentions hke those ofâ€" of an old uncle 1 Jie told me afterwards " "He must really have been over forty irl and Kissed the Co». ^_a^ked Oeacon Skinberry no's you'll b'lieve it," tell it anyhow " lers was telling bout fa-t km tell yer 'bout a litenin' em al! J went down ter ly w eu I lived at Scooner- ring Thunder Road, T^^ rears I turned ter kiss mv le tram pulled out 'n I ki« is out in ther kentry." terary Servant. ^\'ell, Kridget, you have y questions satisfactorily ;an begin Monday." Shure, mom, it's a noice â- Â» It's plazed Oi wud be to but t)i wud ax yez wan Well, what is it " -*- yez belave Baconian -e or did he In literairee be m hoc wid do family or ion com pus go braugh." re to Work. 1st I do with this wedding m it " asked a gushing r- of -fact young man. hat's all," was the reply. band, on whum the mem- oon already seems to be o know why his wife is Do you ji/e it up " Be- nfeeling wretch, ' she is wife who is returned V hat was the sermon yseedâ€" '• Su'thin about to Kgypt to buy com." id the dominie say what there " leal of interest manifest- )ject of whaling in the erence between that and back -shed variety is, e the victim gets cold â-  t'ot warmed. 1 made man," says Bro- stood him up, walked 3ked at him and then lat.' He then rightaway made woman, the most ce of workmanship ever g Lidyâ€"«' Justine, look astfor to-day." Maidâ€" a. They say wd[are to • winds. ' i" W- i^ â€" ihortest walking dress, d my diamond- buckled ^op Yeast and find it er tried. The bread is ses quicker than any iked with home-made lid compressed ye»*t, m any of them. I en- hoping I am not too KFRKY, Gait. he famous war corre«- lade his first visit to d specimen of healthy d in New York from a mere wreck of hi« t once for Washing- ife's family, and there but he is so feeble »* ircely move about U* 'y had been killed by IS of Savoy, recentiyf taking a gun and g^* pursued the anim*' unsucjessfal it "*â-  was not with thein. t a party set off » r travelling aU n^ lying in a a«**j? her arms cmsMg* fith blood. B««*« huge ber wJtii.g^ a chai^ ft** |P: « taken b«e w ^L " Jfo doubt my poor Alice was unguarded. ffeknow what a merry, happy, childish (irl may be, but I never heard that her con- tetwas ever censured while she remained itRaxley, though I find that Captain Egre- BODt used to join them in their walks, un- ler pretext of playing with the children. Ikea she was sent to Freshwater with the nroeldest children during Lady Adelaide's wnfinement, and there, most unjustifiably, Captain Egremont continually visited them from his yacht, and offered to take them out ii it. AUce knew she ought not to go with- mt a married lady on board, and hehronght iSfr. and Mrs. Houghton to call, who were rery kind and caressing to her and the Mdren, so that she thought all was right. Oh Lady Kirkaldy, I don't mean to defend ter, 1 daresay she was very giddy and sixly, siie reproaches herself, poor dear, but I do lay that a wicked advantage was taken of her innocence and ignorance. She says she sad begun to grow a little uneasy at the nj people looked when Captain Egremont wed them on the beach and the nurse, a •krman, said something t^at she conld not ifflderstand. On the Ist of July^yes â€" but Ibre the date here â€" came a telegram to ie hotel to have rooms for Lady de Lyon- m and Mr. Egremont ready by the even- ing. The whole place knew it, and some leddlbg person burst on Alice with the news, roughly and coarsely given, that they were coming to call her to account for her goings on. Captain Egremont found her ^ing in the utmost terror, and â€" she really iiardly knew what he said to her â€" she thinks iie offered to shelter her on board the Ninon ioE Lady de Lyonnais' first wrath while le and Mrs. Houghton explained matters Mt sh.' cannot tell, for she lost her senses with fright, only knew that he was kind and weet to her in her distress, and thought only of escaping. Well, I don't excuse her. Of course it was the most terrible and fatal •ning she could have done, and " The good old lady was quite overcome, and Lady Kirkaldy had tears in her eyes as she said, "It was frightful follyâ€" but she was gnarded," " Yes, her innocence was guarded, thank |;«d," said Miss Headworth fervently. ^lon see she did know that Mr. and Mrs. iton were on board, and Mrs. Hough- :â„¢ was a truly kind protector who deserved »« confidence, though, poor lady, she ad- Mtted to me that her own conduct had not '^n-strictly correct." How long was it before you heard of neri?" ' "There was a dreadful letter from Mr. tgremont enclosing what was due of her "^^ry, and then I heard no more for seven months I went to the Isle of Wight and ?We all bquiries, but the nurse and chil- Menhad gone away immediately, and I Muldobumn^raceofthem." then sheâ€" your niece never wrote." V he was afraid, poor dear.^ She had never •^V.V ' ' ^tl* me. Her mother had WA K J "^^" ™« »tr»«» »" *»»f^' "*d â„¢.m never opened to me in those days. ^wes, he had forbidden her. At last, .Lj ^y?""' ^^ January, came a letter from a£ "• Honghton, telling me that my !e was very unwell at Dieppe, that C«r^ ^»i been heard of her husband, ^»pam Egremont, to whom she had been M ^r p ' ' POMiWe, wait till my arrival be Wf fSremont was not in a condition to Ualvu ?• dear friends, with whom Mid ,»t I'^^g' ^ere as kind as poawble, a set me free to go. I was there in three .J». Md truly the dear, beaatifnl, merry Wag i*^ parted with only a year before neemeH i," P"««ns sight. Mrs. Houghton think^„ .u°^^"-^earted at leaving her, •^but M " "**^* chance of her Uv- Wa nr^«ir" ,Honghton, who, I am afraid. scraBe T®^ gambler, had got into some â- â-  ' tnf n "g°°e to Paris, where she toUow him. She told me all about '*iMidh » marriJ** 9*Ptain Egremont fancying that keZd^^*, " **»« Channel Ishuids was one ^en«,'P'*y^*«t and loose with, she had «uch aff* that the formaUties ahonld be *ron» J* "^^^ ' secure. Foolish and **«i^63 '.AUce had been, she had " Ml the best side of that poor She gave me tl|e /JLWB J pd me till hsTiB;ali|m it toi, retmaed moMned." "Captain Egremont had darned the mar- na«p, andthejr beUered him," nid Lady Kirkaldy. " It fa hard to believe he conld be so hearaeas, bnt he was in bondage to the old General Egremont, and dreaded loemg his inheritance." "So hetold them in his one visit to Di- eppe. He said he must keep his marriage se- cret, but promised an allowance, on condi- tion that Alice would live quietly at Dieppe, and not communicate with any one of her ownfamiWorhis. He had left £100 with her, but tbat was nearly aoae, and she had never heard from hun. It had preyed on her mind and she was so ill that i never ex- pected, any more than Mrs. Houghton, to see herreoover. I stayed there withher; she oonld not be moved, even if she would have consented, when she was continuaBy expect- ing hina but at lastâ€" four days after her little girl was bom â€" came the news of the .^tnon having been burnt, with all on board, three months before. Do you know, strange to sav, though I feared so much to tell her, she began to revive from that time. The suspense and watching were over. She saw that he had not deserted her, and be- lieved that he had loved her till the last. She cried a great deal but it was in a peace- ful natural way. I wrote then as I had already written, to Lady Adelaide and to Mr. Egremont, but was not answered." •' I can account for that," said Lady Kir- kaldy. "My sister had been ordered to Madeira in the autumn, and there they re- mained till her death in May, All the let- ters were sent to my mother, and she did not think fit to forward, or open, any bear- in? on the subject, in the meantime Mr. Egremont was presented to the family liv- ing, and on his return moved to Bridge- field Egremont. And you came here " " Of course I could not part with my poor Alice again. Mr. and Mrs. Fdrdyce, whose daughter I had educated, had al- ways kept up a correspondence with me, and knowiug all the story, proposed to me to come here. He was then rector of the old church, and by their help and recom- mendation, with such capital as I had, we were able to begin a little school and though that has had to give way to the High School, what with boarders, and with Alice's employment as daily gover- ness, we have, I am thankful to say, gone on very well and comfortably, and my dear child has recovered her cheerfulness, though she can never be quite what â€" 1 tbonk she was ineant to be,^ said the old lady, with a sad smile, " though perhaps she is some- thing better." "Do you think she was absolutely con- vinced of his death " " Do you mean that he is alive " ex- claimed Miss Headworch in dismay. "Oh he is a wickeder man than I even supposed to have forsaken her all these years. Is my poor child in his power? Must her pecae, now she has attained it, be disturbed "There is a great deal to take into con- sideration,' said Lad^ Kirkaldy. "I had better tell you how this visit of mine came about, and explain some matters about the Egremont family." She then told how Captain Egremont, af- ter a brief service in the Life Guards, had been made to retire, that the old General, whose heir he was, might keep him in at- tendance on him. Aeady self indulgent and extravagant, the idleness of the life he led with the worn-out old route had deaden- ed his better feelings, and habituated him to dissipation, while his debts, his expensive habits, and his dread of losing the inherit- ance, had bound him over to the GeneraL Both had been saved from the fire ic the Ninon, whence they were picked up by a Chilian vessel, and they had betm long in communicating with home. The General hated Emrland, and was in hx okon health. He nad spent the remaining years of his life at various continental resorts, where he could enjoy a warm climate, combined with facilities for high play. When at length he died. Captain Egre- mont had continued the life to which he had become accustomed, and had of late mani- fested an expectation that his nephew Maik should play the same part by him as he had done by the General, but the youth, bred in a very diffierent tone, would on no ac- count thus surrender himself to an evil bond- age. Indeed he felt all the severity of youth- ful vurtue, and had little toleration for his uncle's ways of thinking though, when the old man had come home ill, dejected, and half blind, he had allowed himself to be made useful on business matters. And thus he had discovered the marriage, and had taken up the cause with the ardour stim- ulated by a chivalrous feeling for the beauti- ful vision of his childhood, whose sudden disappearance had ended his brightest days. "I suppose it is right and generous of the young man," said Miss Headworth. " But since the â€" the man is alive, I wuh my poor Alice could have been left at peace " "Y^ou forget her daughter has riehts which must be taken into consideration." " Little Nuttie Dear child I should so far like her to be provided for, so far as that she need not go out in the world to earn her own livelihood. But no I better be as we are than to accept anything from that man " "I quite understand and respect your feelings. Miss Headworth," ratumed the lady; "but may I rotum to my question whether you think your niece has any doubt of her husband being dead?" Miss Headworth considered. "Since you ask me, I think she has kept the pos- siblity of the life before her. We have never mentioned the subject, and, as I said, the belief in his death ended a great suspense and wounded affection. She began soon and vigorously to turn her attention to the su^ort of her child, and has found a fair measuro of happiness but at the same time she has shrunk from all 'notice and society, more than would be natural in so yery young a widow and so attractive, more than I would have expected from her oriri- nal character. And once, when she did apprehend srymptoms of admiration^ she in- sisted that I should tell the history, enough, as she said, to make it plain that it was im- possible. There was one night too, when she had scarlatina, and was a little ligh^ headed, only.four years ago, when she talked a good dedf about his coming beck but that might have been oaly the old impres- sion on her brain, of that long watching 'at Dieppe. Heâ€" Captain Egremont, does not yetknowwhwwshefa?" „ ., "No, certainly not. But I fear he muBt," ezirtenoe." â„¢!!^' ""**,. Yon had better aefe as yon Amkoest about that, fiutyou wiU not object to my nephew, her «id popO, MaA, coming to see her? I wiU maSn promiae not to enter upm the snbjeot." Miss Headwortii had only tame to make a sign of rehictaat acquieacenoe when the door opened and mother and daughter came m. Nntde first, eager as umal and open- mouthed, unaware that any one was there for Lady Kirkaldy, wishing to avoid talk and observaaon, had left her carriage at the livery stables, an4 walked to StTlmbroee Road. The girl, whom in a moment she glassed as small, dark, and oddly like May Egremont, stopped short at nght of a stranger tlie motlier would have retreated but for Miss Hieadworth's nervous call "Alice, my dear, here u Lady Kirkaldy." Very lovely was Lady Kirkaldy 's impres- sion as she saw a slender figure in a dark gray linen dress, and a face of refined, though not inteUectnal, beauty and sweet- ness, under a large straw hat with a good deal of white gauziness about it, and the curtsey was full of natural grace. " Yon do not know me," said Lady Kir- kaldy, taking her band, " but I am aunt of some former pupUs of yonrSj one of whom, Mark Egremont^ is very anxious to c^me to see you." " Mark My dear little Mark," snd her face lighted up. " How very kind of him. Bnt he u not little Mark now." "He is not a very big Mark either. Most of the Eglemonts are smalL I see youi- daughter l»ikes after them," said Lady Kirkaldy, shaking hands with Ursula, who looked At her in unmitigated amazement. Alice faltered something about Lady Adelaide. " My dear sister fell into a decline, and died while the three children were still babies. Poor things, I believe they had a sad time till tyeir father married a Miss Condamine, who had been an excellent step- mothei to them., I have been to see them, but Mark was not then at home, so he has come to me at Monks Horton. When will he find you at home Or may I bring hini in at once. He was to meet me at Mick- lethwayte. "I should like very much to see him," was the answer. And Miss Headworth was obliged to say something abont her lady- ship taking a cup of tea. Laky Kirkaldy, knowing that Mark was on the watch, set off in search of him, and found him, as she expected, pacing the pavement in front ot the church. There was no great distance in which to utter her explanations and cau- tions, warning him of her promise that the intelUgence of the husband's being alive was to be withheld for a fitter time, but he prom- ised dutifully, and his aunt then took him in with her. The recognition of her claims was a less stunning shock to Alice Egremont than to her aunt. Shielded by her illness, as well as by her simplicity and ignorance, she had never been aware of her aunt's attempted correspondence with the Egremonts, nor of their deafness to appeals made on her be- half. Far less had it ever occurred tp her that the validity of her marriage conld be denied, and the heinous error nf her elope- ment seemed to her quite sufficient to ac- count for her having been so entirely cast off by the family. The idea that as wife or widow she had any claims on them, or that Ursula might have rights above those of Mark, had not come into her mind, which, indeed, at the moment was chiefly occupied jby the doubt whether the niilk was come in, and by ordering in the best teacups, presented by tiie b^urders. Thus she was in the passas;e when Mark entered, and hu exclamation instantly was " Oh, Edda, dear old Edda I You aren't a bit altered " and he put his head under her hat and kissed her, adding, as she seemed rather startled, "You are my aunt, you know and where's my cousin You are Ursula?" He advanced upon Nuttie, took her by the hand and kissed her forehead before she was aware, but she flashed at him with her black eyes, and locked stiff and defiant. She had no notion of kisses to herself, still less to her pretty mother whom she pro- tected with a half proud, half jealous fou'l- ness. How could tue man presume to call her by that foolish name? However, that single effusion had exhausted Mark's powers of cordiality, or else Nuttie's stiffness froze him. They were all embarrassed, and had reason to be grateful to Lady Kirkaldy's practised powers as a diplomate's wife. She made the most of Mrs. Egremont's shy spas- mo lie inquiries, and Mark's jerks of inform- ation, such as that they were all living at Bridgefield Egremont, now, that his sister May was very like his new cousin, that Blanche was come out and was very like his mother, etc etc. Every one was more at ease when Lady Kirkaldy carried the conversation off to yesterday's entertain- ment, hoping no one had been overtired and the like. Mrs. Egremont lighted up a little and began telling some of the expressions of delight she had heard, and in the midst, Nuttie waking from her trance of sdff dis- pleasure, came plump in with " Oh and there's a water- soldier, a real Stratiotes acukatus in your lake. May we get it Mr. Dutton didn't think we ought, bnt it would be such a prize I" " Ursula means a rare water-plant," said Mrs. Egremont gently, seeine that Lady Kirkaldy had no notion of the treasure she possessed. " She and some of her friends are very eager botanists." " I am sure you may," said the lad, amus- ed. ' Thank you Then,0 mother I Miss Mary and I will go. And well wait -till after office hours, and then Gerard (Jodfrey can come and fish it out for us Oh, thank yon. He wants the pattern of the Al""(:'s crossfor an illumination, and he can get aonie ferns for the church." Soon after thu ebullition. Lady Kirkaldy carried off her nephew, andhis.first utter- ance outside tiie door was, " A woman like that will be the salvation of my uncle. " " Krstly, if you can bring them togeUier," said his aunt; "and secondly, if there is stuff enough in that pretty creature. " CHAPTER V. SCSPKKSE. " When shall the tnUor rest, He, the dcceircrrâ€" SooTi. Poor Miss Headworth's peace of mind was utterly destroyed. That the niece whom she had nursed dack to life and happine^ and brought to love her as a mother, ahonld be at the mercy of a man whom she looked on aa a heartlea proilgate, was dreadful to tfgn»S^ het» enforce tiie r e iiBipti on al the wife he had jt* ' »-.^-wiU -cortmlt Mr. Datton,* said tA««ild]ady to herself "Mr. Dutton u theodhr pema who knows the parcl- ealats. fie ii^ give me the best advice." An d while Mfas Headworth, over her w«iing_ toilette, was oennlns to tfaisrao- lutton in eae bedroom, Nume, in anothv, waa standby aghast at her mother's agiu- tioh, and recelvhig a confession ^iriiich filled her with astonlahment. "I can't tiiink why that gentleman â- honld fo and be so affectionate all on a sudden,^ quoth Nuttie " if he u my cou- sin, and so fond of yon, why couldn't he have eeme to see us beiwe? ' " Oh, Nuttie, dear, yon dont understand why it fa so good of hun 1 My dew, now thfa has cmne, I must tell youâ€" yon must hearâ€" the sad thing your mother did. Yes, my dear, I was their governess â€" and â€" and I did not â€" In short, my dear, I eloped," "You, mother! Oh what fun!" cried the girl in the utter extremity of wonder. " Nottie " exclaimed Mrs. Egronont, in ar tone of horror and indignation â€" nay, of i^prehension. "O motherâ€" I didn't mean that! But! cMi't get to believe it. You, littie mother mine, you that are so timid and bashful and quiet. That you â€" you should have done such a thing." " Nuttie, my dear, can't yon understand tiiat such a thing would make me quiet I am always feeling when I see people, or they bring their daughters here, "If they oidy knew " ' " No, no, no They would still see you were the sweetest dear. But tell me all about it. How very much in love you must have been " said Nuttie, a magnificent vfaion of a young sailor with curly hair and open throat rising before her. " I think I was more frightened than in love," faintly said Mrs. Egremont. " At least I didn't know it Was love, I thought he was only kind to me." " But you liked it " said Ursula magist- eiially. " I liked it, oh, I liked it It gave me a feeling such as nothing else ever did, butC I never thought of its being love, he was so much older." "Older " exclumed Nuttie, much taken aback. "Oh I as old as Mr. Dutton " " Mr, Dntton is thirty-six, I think. Yes he was older than that." " Mother, how could you " For to be older than Mr. Dutton seemed to the youth ul fancy to be near decrepitude but she added, " I suppose he was very noble, and had done great things." " He was the grandest gentleman I ever saw, and had such a manner," said the mother, passing over the latter suggestion. " Any way, I never thought what it all meant â€" all alone with the diildren as I was â€" till I found people looking at me, and laughing at me, and then I heard Lady de Lyonnais and Mr. Egiemont were coming down, very angry, to send me away. I ought, I know it now, to have waited, for they would have written to my aunt. Bnt â- i was horribly frightened, and I couldn't Ma t, to t hink of never seeing him again, and he came and comforted me, and said he would take me to Mrs. Houghton, the kind lady who was staying in uie Ninon, and they would make it all square for me â€" and then â€" Oh it was very sweet â€" but I never knew that we were sailing away to Jersey to be married I knew it was very dreadfiu without uiy one's leave, bnt it was so noble of him to take the poor little governess and defoid her, and it wasn't as if my mother had been iJive. I didn't know Aunt Ursel tben as I did afterwards. And Mrs. Hough- ton said there was nothing else to be done." (TO BE OONTINCSD.) EiUGBLUU FACTS. Silk dresses 'werie first worn in 1455. The first copper cent was coined in New Haven in 1687. The eggs of the silkworm were first brought into Europe in '537. Artificial ivory is made by injecting white- wood with chloride of lime. Boston, Mass., was the first city in the country to estabUsh free baths. I^ine cables are used to tell the daily sto- ry of Europe to America and America to Europe. Clocks were introduced into America in 1720. Heretofore time was marked by the hourglass. The forest area of the United States fa less than 450,000,000 acres, or about one-fifth the area of tiie whole country. India ink was used 4,030 years ago, and more, in China, but was introduced into Europe only about 200 years ago. At Quito, the only city in the world on the equator, the sun rises at 9 o'clock and sets at the same hour in the evening, all the year round. One of the glaciers of the Kinchinjunga in India, a peak whose summit fa 28,000 feet above ste level, has a vertical height of 14,000 feet. The oath was first adminfatered in judic^ proceedings in England by the Saxons in 600. The words " So help me God, and all saints," concludsd an oath till 1550. The first steam ferry between NeW York and Jersey City was establfahed in August, 1812, and abont the same time one went in- to operation between Philadelphia and Cam- den. Beik ranklin was the first to suggest that ships carry oil to pour on the rough waters. He also advised ship buildento separate the ship's hold Into water-tight compartments. These two simple devices have wved many a ship. Mrs. She Was a Peeper. Gadder to Mrs. Peeperâ€" " I you have a stained glass window in the dead waU side of your house, at the stair landing,- just like ours." " Yes the next-door neighbor wouldn't let us have a window there if we didn't have it stained so we couldn't see into hfa house, for yon know our house fa built on the line, and you're not allowed to have a window on that side unlen the aljoimng ^wner permits it So we put in a stamed window." " So did we, but Pve got » littie peep hole in it all the same." ' " And so have I. She can't prevent me from peej^ng. I'm a Pe^er, I am. It would almost kill me to live in a house witjb- ont I could see out from all sides." lSy^s2e%dd^d*3SiK^ Us f4c«i wtH wfaaii Sama«i.Sbin«41«d^ "A dfa- preshun of severity. " Mndi nneaslniies was maaifiii^tiiTQiQi^t the haQ, and there were many iigaa of relief When the President n^PpM to order. " Wm CoL Algernon ^xby pleaae step dfa wiQf ?** asked the Preudent, as everything under the head of communications had been cleared away. The Colonel advanced like a man expect- ing to receive a gold medal for some meri; tetioi«,aer«pce, and Brother Qv4mik con- tinued ' ' Kernel Bixby, lixiik me in the left eye Fnr the las' eix weeks yonhave be^n loafin' aroua* an^ hatia' hard work. Yon haven't airned an boneat nickel since July. You am powerihl handy wid your excuses, but let me say to you dat if yon doan' 8-«rt on Monday momin' an' look fur work an' start de sweat on yonr back, I shall call fur you at de nex' meetin' Dat call will mean biz- ness It will result in purceedin's dat will walk you down stii rs fo' stepe at a time i" The Hon. Ginger Crossback, of Toronto, Secretary of the Colored High Jinks Club, informed Brother Gardner by letter that on the 6th day of August next hfa society pro- posed to open a debate, free to the world, on the query " What Am de Hereafter of Animsl Creation " It was hoped that the Lime-Kiln Club would send at least four of its leading orators to participate in the de- bate. " While we am much obleeged fut de in- vitashun," repli(l the President, " we shan't let de inquiry worry us a bit. While it am a sad thing to part from a dog which has stood by us fur .* dozen y'arsi time spent in wonderin' whar' he will brim; up am time wasted. I re ';kon dat sich of us as git to dat better land, won't be lookin' around fur bosses, dogs, cows an' cats. We'll be busy wid our wings an' harps, an' tain't likdy dat we could whistle fur a dog if we owned one. De hereafter of man, an' per- ticklerly of members of dfa club, am of fur mo' consarn to us. " The Hon. Jimdown Du sherry. Secretary of the branch lodge at Cincinnati, forwarded a communication in which he stated that the eflorts of the branch to excite a healthy ambition in the breasts of the colored people of that city were meeting with poor re wud. The efforts consfated mostly of strawberry festivafa, at ten cents admission, and the " dodger" annonhcing the last one sJso contained the rather emphatic declaration " The Hue and Cry that our place of Amusement fa not orderly emanates from that element of our people known and branded as Curb Stone Milliouaires, who, being too shiftiess to moke a dollar by the Rules of Budfh^ss, think it their bounden duty to discourage all other enterprises, and to sling their venomous slander like a vile reptile upon those who are striving to plant and nurture business aspirations in the hearts of the colored people." On motion of Giveadam Jones it was re- solved that the branch had the sympathy of the parent club â€" providing that the straw- berries weren't sour. Three or four days since the janitor re- ceived by express a bundle containing 264 liver-pads, manufactured expressly for the colored trade and warranted to cure every- thing exoept insanity in two weeks' time. The pad came from a new concern and the object in sending them was to secure the indorsement of the club. Every member had his mind Kad« up for a pad, and a few werewfahing thai they had two livers and could wear two pads, when Brother Gardner marked ' Gem'len, dfa package must be respect- ably reiurned. 1^ club once brnng itself to de brink of ruin, by indorsin' a new brand o' ha'r lie, an' dat leoson must not be lost upon us. I'ze sorry for your liven, in case you has any, but the package must go back." WANTED HARMONY. Whalebone Howker arose in the inter- ests of harmony. He had lately read no less than three different predictions as to when the world was coming 10 an end, and each one had a date of its own. While all were made in the interest of the white folks, the six million colored people in this coun- try were more or less interested. They did not propose to hang around here after the world had come to an end and all the white folks had pegged out. He wanted the club to decide upon and set -an official date, or to call a meeting of the prophets and have them agree upon some particular day next fall after the melon season waa over and everybody was behind on his house rent. The subject was referred to the Commit- tee on Ffafaeri's, with instructions to bring a specific date most convenient to all. THE CLOSE. The President then motioned to the jani- tor for to turn out the lights, and said " Gem'len, it am now the hour to disrupt to our homes. Pass out calmly an' widout malice aforethought, an' de pusson who knocks my hat off its peg will be made to wish he had gone down by way of de alley winder." He Wasn't a Beaentfcd }hn. A liverpool gentleman took hfa wife to the dentist to have her tee At drawn, and the forceps broke her jaw the first wrench. Did the husband of the sufferer fall on the den- tist and smite him hip and thigh, and sit down upon him and pulverize him and knock the office furniture mto a state of confusion with hfa professional frame, and sue him for dami^ Drop a line to the dentist and ask him where he got those dfamond studs. A Town Without Taxes. The small town of Putzig, near Dantzic, containing, according tq,thelaBtoensus, 1,855 inhabitants, fa the ha]ppy poseessor of an in- dependent fortune estimated at upwards of 600,000 marks, or^inally the gift «rfan exil- ed King of Sweden two or raree centuries ago. There are tot only no oommunal taxes levied, but the handsome surplus tm the investment fa annually added to the princi- paL His Tenns* Gentleman â€" Unde .Zeke, how much will yon charge to whitewash n^ fence Uncle Zekeâ€" Ef you brings de fence heah, 111 do it fer nnffin, sah bat 'n case I goes to de feiwe I has two doUan a visit, an' a visit oaUs for one ooat (rf Unde Zeke's King Ckwge whitawadi, yon to pervide de King Gawge whitewash. '., I ' ' " iV J I

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