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 'y *Mi!yjB!;ii'j flwippi" "^^ iJommion Ga_ f fluenc wig,2i1? K T. McCOaD^ *â-  »* Km IHE greateit i coveryoftheii »t age for Ken Insr the Bowet during an Blood i ir and Kidney laint8. A peii ilood Purifier. Al 1 Hamilton who il leen benefited byl ise: Mrs. M. Keen .92 Robert St, cm f Krysipelasofsj tanding; Kobt. lell, 24 South laughter cured Jpileptie Fits afti ears' sufferinir; â-  lie Birreil, 65 Jut St, cnredl .urg Trouble John Wood, 95Cil W Liver Complaint and Bilioni cent bottles; Mrs. J. Heal, 8 AUg, â-  years with Nervous Prostration, tt ve her great relief. Sold at 50c. ft j F. F. DALLEY CO., Proprieton WP nsy !ICAI T. FIRST NEXT. C. O'DEA SB DTICE ting of the Assocl* nee the Company sday, the l^th ratuying ed I, $96,894. â-  13,029. URPLUS, 80,234. Profits to/oml »yablc on and aiw' HEWS- -a»r «Bi tii)msng company $600 BMW9 to Dg " Look out for than the same nnmW And the Utter Me th« ^le. too. ecent dry weather in Mt. Cw Klhoi a heavy wagon strack S"""h the friction waaso great for several .helo=»J»J^ who thought that ri««"'«* nofs" e lives la Elba. Minn Lj(! '"'^rVs-^ one and hid the money :5^""!,idi"'afew days, while hi. getting a pail of .ID' the spring tolen, and the house 'o' ""nSrled to the ground. D MIa«ttentiS,S»"a,k^ hole Towa»||^'*f.Mo^ I' Spring K«nt^"J?' iaeiS Ip'thefinw^SJ^" I «lor.r. With ^^ Medicine for Lnil»: ' "â- d Bloov'ii"^U «er? on Ce ^SST reasons for ,J^ change are :iS:iS J (lerful curative aaL!l *^'bebetterpreM?S| the mediclne'^^fl entirely in the dartta As the jug will be «^ «1 it will be impo^ counterfeit it ^51 I name " D,. jJ^ZJ fr. JoG-s"" T^ be,S„; r """*» remembered by I • tion. 4thâ€" oi j_^ fcognize »t once that they ar« »3 ile. as theie is no other medlri»3 |. JLG ilEDICINE CO^^^^ Toronto and Stratfa bevery high this rear The â-  ,.fy producing States, lUi- id Michigan, have absol- ffB*"'"' 7ll and in many parts of ""'""the bees are being fed on ^gar W* sea! th's .pjestine, from honey year gar starving. Last year to the East by the they have scarcely a„'r home consumption, Tex. last Wednesday night and a neighbor climbed a for wolves. About mid- J^"ites appeared. The neighbor =^' It them, and turned just in ' Mr Bimpy drop to the ground le '"' ' It is supposed that the trig- li^{-.hatsnn must have caught on a '"' 1 wafhe had shothimself fatally. r.thanBeU of Oglethorpe county, Ga., '" !;ffin made a number of years ago. Ion die and to send for his coffin I Tordered it made waterproof, and J^u makers fill it full of water, screw l^""Srnit over and over. They ^J«^Sh for wolves. JW TBIKD THE DOOHy of them are loct^lS^SS'^i^ L ToI^nL""/*^*",^ of the iSSS at Toronto, luivuMt^'aeiiMad %: place wMe I held tertmk ^S^J^ door to oar sUUon house, and we Q^tow down by way of the aHey. Itwwa w? lor the bodies, set at an angle for the water to ran off and small water piAee fixed to spray Uie bodies and retard /e-^positio" Above each slab was also a gas jet. Some people ieel a chill at the of the word, but I did terrible place. I had I ur TAT. 3DITA1L .^i^m BOYNTOl^ HARRIS^: MAMMOm MONABCB*:; Managing Director. Kj^f"' irhL"pre8ence, and he was satisfied. ||;i:Sctday'and was laid away to viden trout are only found in the brooks lult Whitney, up near the banks of ' jUnoff. They have a golden stripe ewh side, and are the most beautiful ilijtswim. It is said that those who .1. first specimens of these trout that ttâ„¢! ht down from the head of Whit- Lk thought they were made up for U and that stripes of gold leaf had 'l to their sides. athVaUey, Nev., is to be turned into llch ranch. A Mexican has fourteen Xmm chicks that he hatched out there Ilittle ranch from eggs brought from Lhborhood of Los Angeles. The eggs Uuried in the hot sand, and of nights LTound was covered with blankets to L the heat it absorbed during the day. Uch is about '220 feet below the level bsea. fttiyfive years ago there wasnt a post- Ump in the United States says the ilo Cow-itr but in the last twelve „i the people of this country have in- Jmlly and severally put their tongues LW3,341,0O0 times to moisten the pos- Jiiumps for the billions of letters and Ions of newspapers, periodicals, and par- fiit are carried and delivered by the nment. [le family of John G. Russell of Bruns- i,Me., was considerably surprised the [evening when, from an open flue in leiiiiimey, a stream of swallows poured •J the house was actually full of them. yp«rched on the pictures and the fumi- iaiid many of them clung with their I: to the clothing of the members of the ^T. They seemed to be quite tame, iiere with diflScnlty driven out. [idzen of Providence, R. I., makes many by catching bats which he sells to iiermists for fifty cents apiece. He I fish hook to the end of a long thip, and on the hook he fastens a iniillar. Then, standing near an elec- tlightinthe evening he waves thel whip lone of the many bats which are hunt- rihe insects that fly around the light idle miliar, and then he yanks him in. mia Whitson, a switchman in the dyard in Jefferson, Ky., was recent- [amiing along the track ahead of several T rtich were being pushed by a locorao- ' Mid which he was about to couple to 'ears. While thus running, one foot P between a guard rail and the main ind before he could possibly extricate l*»M overtaken by the cars and crushed lie«k lisloon keeper named Keeley, who had mble to make a living in San Fran- atdywent to live on a farm owned 18 wile in El Dorado county, where her iTu'i J "" ^^^^ ^^^ years ago. •wn lady was supposed to be rich, but »y could be found at the time of her order to make the house babi- ae Keeleys had to pull down the wd there, embedded in the was found a box containing $28,- W com. ^months ago Col. Joseph S. Baughn. »orpe, Ga., bachelor, advertise! for J ^^ received from all over the s^tes more letters than he could fttT^j-^Sr"" ^«i"g akind-heart- Z,»i?"^^"**^««^'"*l°f these let- "gbu bachelor friends, who opened S^'rttji the writers. At least l^ will be the result of this Mence, one being that of a hand- F-. ^i!,'"^*" " Lexmgton, who J^««fre8pondence with a South Garo- f-five i^Neroi years ago John Grundy, of " *«s one of the most expert j^M of the marble cutters of Sat â- ^^w!'?* "itopoUtics, was sue tC n "r^ Alderm.^ for sev- Kiadbi!" ^^•*' to drinking, loat {**«»«? t^P^oyment and became a H wi"" wife was a rag-sorter Ji^'««|me blbd and went to the .••pnet ^*u ' ^7 l»e "taggered Wl^ ^^ '^^ decomposed -^ lying on the bed wherehe f^i?s^5Vo:^^ SfiC»»« «e marriedr She *ic k^.f^Se^'n of Mveral mUi- ^::!?.^iw;.^ mention not find it such a »»,« «i-..i*__ "1 '**'" J"" back of on! ?^ "^T* *°'l* P"«««e»^»y ran along- one side so that the dead room could reached without going through mine. For the first few weeks I felt a little timid, but that feeling graduaUy wore away, and I sel- dom gave » thought of what was beyond Onl' ""f 7»" °° «~»* bnfden. Only stranger dead were brought there, vou undersUnd. When a body was received I had to assist to disrobe it and place it on one of the slabs. Then it was in my charge until identified, or untU the Coroner felt that IT WAS A HOPELESS CASE. ' A spray of water was kept going night and day, the gas burned near each face, and I looked into the Morgue about once in two hours, or was expected to. Some days there were no visitors at other times the place was full all day. When there was a rush of this sort I had an assistent. Over and over agam I have seen every slab occupied and ^ore bodies waiting for the hard bed, but it sometimes occurred that we didn't have a body for three or four weeks at a time. The_ greatest scare I ever hdul occurred one night in midsummer. The "bed- room," as the men used to term it, had been empty for fifteen days, when, at about four o'clock one July afternoon, a " subject "was brought in. He was clearly a foreigner â€" probably a Swede. He had been shot in a dance house, the ball entering his breast, and had died in the house. Neither money nor papers were found ^u him, and, accord- ing to rule, he was brought to the mortrue to be exposed for identification. It was i'ust a chance that any one would recognize lim, and the matter was of little interest to me. He was a stalwart, tough-looking feUaw, and his body had many scars to prove that he was a turbulent spirit. I left him on the slab in proper shape, and did not look in on him again until just at dusk. I went to bed early, but awoke at 12. as was my habit, and looked in again. All the next day passed without a single caller at the morgue, and I entered the room to look at the man probably five times. This, as 1 told you, was partly from habit and partly because of the regulations. I don't know that the Police Commissioners had an idea that a man who had been SHOT OR STABBED TO DEATH would come to life after being laid out on the slabs, but I was expected to know it if he did. I went to bed at nine and slept until mid- night. Then I got up and looked into the morgue. One glance showed me that every- thinir was all right, and back I went to my room and to bed. I oicpected to drop off to sleep again in two minutes, and was, there- fore, greatly surprised to find myself wide awake at the end of ten, and to realize that I was a bit nervous. It was a new feeling for me. I had slept like a brick with six bodies on the slabs. Yes, I was certainly nervous. I had the door of my room locked and a lamp burning, and a loaded revolver hung at my head. There was nothing to be afraid of. and I had been tried often enough to know that I was no coward. I tumbled around on the bed, shut my eyes tight, turned over, counted up to five hun- dred, and yet the harder I tried to go to sleep the more nervous I got. All of a sud- den there came a sound which brought me upon end in a second. Some one had tried the door^of my room. On several occasions the men up stairs had attempted to play off practical jokes on me, and after a moment's reflection I concluded that one of them had crept down m hopes to find my door open and play some trick. Quite a little EFTOBT WAS MADE TO OPEN THE DOOB, and theii I heard some one pass alons: the hallway and go out of the open alley door. I ought to have been able to sleep then, but such was not the case, and in my despera- tion I got up and lighted my pipe, and turned up the lamp. J smoked for a quart- er of an hour, and then, feeling calmer, and from mere force of habit, I opened the door to look into the dead room. It was empty I stood there and stared at the vacant slabs for a full minute before I could realize the fact. Yes, sir, the naked body of the Swede shot dead in the dance honse was gone, and the water sprays were falling dead upon the flat stone. I ran for my light and examined the floor of the hallway. There were wet foot tracks leading to the alley door, and in front of my door was a large damp spot, as if tbe wet feet had stood there for some time. No joker would dare go to the extremity of removing a body from the Morgue. The medical students of the Queen City at that time would take almost any risk to secure a good specimen, but they hadn't the hardi- hood to come down into my lonely quarters. I tell yoa I was badly upset, »nd it was three or four minutes before I coiUd de^ what to do. Then I ran out uid op » down the alley, and, failing to find Miy signs of my mbject, I entered the station md gave the aUrm. Three offioeis were sent oat with me, and yn 8BABCHM) DP AND DOWK tiie oontiguoM streets and sUots for • fall honrbs^ wegsve It up. J^^^-^be- oome rf the mSn! If t bod^^had been carried out of tiie taoigae along *• J«»« it must have been by two men, " Jijuwld certainly h«ve heard t*|S?l'°"*,"!^' beoTiariUIe I waa strogsUag witb my ""• JSSnSti»t ae dg^^{«f- Who had tried my door T WI»tadJif5 *• ' SStaStiihalit iMti^lleahewspaa I aaited myaeB tiieaa qâ€" *j;?g wlwrdaylightw WP «^«S^^ we foniidM trace «* tlie man. M* aflair lAleh ^Jr^i^ te •««*ed me. A onrions ~V "^^ â- *? *t waa. The doctor., ware dean beat and it waa put down aa an hbeen origmal M.O. It gire loe a £«e I dM not get over for months, and I don't mind tell- »ng yon tiiat I never atafed akme ia the Moigne an hoar after that. He Was Beady to Oim Up Trndet the GimnuiiBtanoes. I heard a story told the othei: day, writes a tnend and oorreapondent, which amused me. An old lady said When my father moved into the new cenntry, one of us chUdren told a lie. My mother coald not ascertain the culprit, but a he lay between ns. " WeU," said she, '« you ^l escape now, but you may be sure I will know at some day which of yon has told the lie. " Weeks passed on and nothing more was said on the subject. My father lived in a log house, which contained one room below and one above. The children slept in the chamber. One night a tremendous wind arose and at midnight blew off the entire roof of the house. My mother, alarmed at the crash, ran up the ladder, and putting hef head into the roofless chamber cned •• Children, are you all there T" " Yes, mother " piped a small terrified voice "yes, mother, we are all here, and if the day of judgment has come, it was me whe told the lie 1" To how " many children of larger growth" does a similar repentance come, and from a similar canseâ€" tiie still small voice amid the storm. Why He-Thanked His Staw. " We have many things to be thankful fer, Misther Hoolahan, we hov, indeed." "Yis, Misther Dimpsey, we hev. Oi often say to mesilf, Patrick, says Oi, yer naturally an unlucky divil, as ye desairve to be. but yer mighty loocky in wan thing." " An what's that. Misther Hoolahan?" " That Oi was born an Oirishman instid av a Russian or an Eyetalian." " That's a very proper sintiment, and yer a man fcr oidd Oirland to be proud av." " Oi think 01 am. M.isther Dimpsey, Oi think Oi am. But the principal consider ation Oi had in moind was that if Ot had been born a Russian or an Eyetalian dago, J could niver talk at all, at aJl, for they've the mischief's own languages to learn, whilst the brogue comes to your tongue as aisy as good liquor." Takes the Oake. a professional rhymster the other no allow- the word and Said day â€" "There is one word for which able rhyme has ever been found, •window.'" A smart baker heard the remark, said â€" "I'll undertake to produce a perfect rhyme for ' window,' and will wager the price of a gingercake that I can do it in ten minutes." " Then your cake's dough, my friend, for you are certain to lose," said the poet. " You have given me my cue," replied the baker; "wait a little." In nine minutes he recited the following â€" " I'm afraid I've mule my dough too thick.e Said Jack, as he shied his lump at th" window Said Jill, " If you want to inake it stick You must use the very thinnest of thin dough." " That takes the cake," faintly whispered the poet. itoAotbtag. Bow Ail Expert. Mrs. C. Doctor, you were at the last ill- ness of my eldest boy Doctor Yes. Mrs. C. You also tended professionally my first husband, who died Doctor: Yes. Mrs. C. Well, my second husband is sick, and I would like you to see him through, too. EztiaTaf^ce in Dress. Husband of Literary Womanâ€"" How are you coming on with your magazine article?" Literary Woman â€" " I've got it almost fin- ished." "What is it about?" "It denounces the extravagance in dress of our modem women. ' "What are you going to do with the money you get from it " "I'm saving up to buy me a sealskin sacque." An Eye to Business. G. Horn from Waybackâ€" " Say, stronger, can you tell me which keer to the Museum of Art " Mr. Isaacsâ€"" My tear sir, you vas shust in time. Der Metropolitan Museum of Art vas sold ond by der sheriff last veek und I bought der collection at cost brice. Valk right in." When She Muses. Look Oni " Papa, how do they catch monkeys?" in- quired Willie, who had been to ^e mena- " The beat way nowadays, I think, is by means of a doabto-barreled buatie and triple sise cart-wheel hat and a fancy paraaoL" " Yea," letnarked Willie's mother, mns- inriy. " I uaed to bevery madi addicted to tiMM littie foiUea bef»« we were marriad," AOoodLiyeitiiiSDt. Dnml(7â€" Whata b»e that yonug Brown is. He makea me aick. Featherly â€" ^He never borea me; Pomley â€" ^Yon " " *^ea^lyâ€" Noj Ilant him ifa hnadred dollan a year ago. BkdLqok. Saii»-rW^**7^«^â„¢'^* ._i ^••^ffS**^ JKI»ti».»aarNo»ochMi.k, ^â- gom^optticaagln tiiat diatriofcormti- M]k,ri«l^ Sefnral paraoaa have be«i killad and aiMv voondM, and honasa ham anreatoqaanttadli^arhsnaea, bntaptothe time of the dii^atch of the telegnm eider had not been reatored. At the beginning of the month tbe people of EkatetSioala^ in the sooth, were tiirown into a panic, espe- cially the Hetwewa, by perristent akrming nunors of an.'lotended repetition of the terrible aa(irSemltic riots of foor years ago. The Jews shot up th^ premises and fled in all directions. "The tinmps were called out, and on proc^sdii^; to the Briansk factory in the district it was fo^nd that the rioters, whose march on the town had been feared, had ahready been masteibd and arrested by the police. The rioters, it is now said, did not intend to molest the Jews. The other day the policeof St. Petersburg mastered in foxte at the Tsarskoe Selo Rail- way terminus and interrogated a number of penons arriving ia town whether they were Jews and had any right to bia in the capitaL Several Jews were invited to the police station to show their passports and papers, and here the matter for the time seems to have ended. Tliis measure appears to have been adopted in consequence of tiie beli:f that a large number of Jews without per- mission to reside in St Petersburg live in the sttborba, especially ab^ut Tsarskoe Selo, and come ihto town regularly every day to transact their business. A project is on foot, if it has not been actually adopted, to prevent all the Jews in the provinces of Poland from residing outside of the towns or settlements among the peasants and to restrict their acquisition and possessicm of property in the rural dis- tricts of the Vistula provinces. The Heck of the Oiiaffe. In spite of its enormous length it only possesses the seven vertebra which are common to nearly all the mammals. In consequence it is nearly as inflexible as a wooden bar of equal length, so that the many pretty pictures which represent gir- affes curving their necks gracefully, after the manner of swans, are ludicrously wrong. "But." said the objectors, " if it had so long and inflexible a neck it could not graze, and being a ruminant animal, would die of hunger." It is only quite true that it cannot graze. It can lower its head near the ground by spreading its forelegs as widely as possible and drawing its hind legs under them, thus presenting a most ludicrous aspect. In its native istate it never, as far as I know, even attempts to lower its head to the ground, but in cap- ivity it can be induced to do so by laying- on the ground a large lumlp of sugar, of which it is inordinately fond. The fact is that it is intended to ^raze, not on the ground but on the leaves of trees. The acacia, or mimosa, is its favorite tree, and the Dutch colonists have in consequence called the acacia by the name of " kameel- dorh"^. e., camel thorn, they invariably fiving the name of " camel" to the giraffe, 'his mode of feeding involves another an- omalous structure. This is the tongue, on which the giraffe is alwost as much depend- ent as is the elephant on its proboscis. It is possessed of wonderiul powers of exten- sion and contraction, and can be narrowed until it almost resembles the corresponding organ of the ant-eater. The peculiar powers of the tongue can well be seen when the animal takes the sugar from the ground. It does not attempt to sieze the sugar with its lips, but protrudes its tongue to its full- est extent, twists the narrowed tip around the sugar, and so draws the coveted dainty into its mouth. When it feeds on the trees it picks off leaf after leaf quite daintily, se- lecting these which are the most to its taste. are betternatored than I Sallrri^ anhaTtyoB? PEABL8 or TBUTH. Of all the riches that we hug, of all the pleasures we enjoy, we may carry no more out of this world than out of a dream. A certain amount of opposition is a great help to a man. Rites rise against and not with the wind. Even a head-wind is better than none. No man ever worked his pas- sage anywhere in a dead calm. The simple habits of those who live close to natore are most favourable to real human welfare. To live close to nature â€" ^which in general means in accord with nature â€" ^that u the cardinal axiom which needs to be specially inculcated. Do not forget that anxiety is easier to bear than sorrow that talent is sometimes hid m napkins, audacity never that mis- takes are often bought at a big price and sold at a small one that if it were not for emergencies but littie progress would be made in the world that it is o^n better to go a good way round than ^to take a short cot that tears shed upon a coffin will not blot out the stains cast in life upon the stilled heart within it. The cause of nine in ten of the lamentable failores which occur in men's undertakings and darken and degrade so much of their history lies not so much in the want of talents Or the will to use them as in the vacillating and desultory mode of using them, in flying from object to object, in starting away at each littie disappointment, and tiios applying the force which might conqoer any one difficolty to a series of difficoltiea so large that no hnman force ean conquer them. Laboor in its various forms is the founda- tion of all comfort, all pnMpress, all enjoy- ment, and even of life itaeltT Oor food, oar clothing, oor dwelling, oor ao hool a, oor ooTemment, oor comforti, uid the money iMah tiiey cost are all repreaentatfvaa of the hard work of many people in many ^aceaj and only thos could tiiey exist. Yet wwk has otiier f onotions leas widely lecognised. It is valuable for its effeota open the worker himself. It strengthens UTmudaa, develops his powers, raiaea hia courage, exalts Us charactw. It ia tiie pith aadmarrow ol a happy, healthy life. The highest ehoroh in Eotope is the little duoMl of St Ifaria Zitdt ia the eanton of dmSbmisB. It ia 8,000 feafeabov* the isr- itaiOi near the rMion of par- '^^iSaadta the aMwiiui only. UVE TOADS APPUED. quMar^iv^tiMjiaidMa^hatt ttatlliabatracliiaBhadiasplaao aa » daa- troysr of insects, even tiiia aas beaii pooh- poohed by doubling hanainity; and aaa me^oal remedyâ€" wlnr Hbvf have no* even been dreamed oC, Ithaa remained for a Uonnaoticur man to •Uaoorer a naw field «f oae f n t neaa for the toad aa a remedy fe r what has been hitherto coaaidered incurableâ€" thn Thomaa Gladden, areridentof New Bri- tain, Conn., tells the remarkable atoty of hii experieoce. Mr. Gladdeaia a vander of tin, who has followed the occupation of setliag from house to honse for many years, and ia one of the few spedmens of Yankee peddler still following his profession. He is known in many towns within a radius of twenty- five miles from his home, where he haa baoi a regular viutor from time to time. About five years ago a small ^mple on tha left cheek of Mr. GlMden developed in^ a cancer. So he was informed by various re- putable physicians whom he consulted. He tried various remedies without success, al- though some of them succeeded in staying the progress of the deadly scourge, which had increased meanwhUe toa great sore that covered a good part of his face. But while the disgusting malady did not increaae it did not get much better, and indeed Mr. Glad- den was told that he might eventually loan his life. It was very paii^l at timea. Finally, a neighbor suggested anew remedy â€" ^live toads. W.S. Campbell was tne neighbor. Campbell looks like a man «irho niii^ht suggest a remedy of that nature. He gives theidea of being a man whose ablutions are not of ever-recurrins frequency. Never- theless, it is said thatthere are a good many ' thins^ in his head that other mortals have not dreamed of in their philosophy. He studied medicine years ago, but has not practised. " Toads will cure it," was the constant re- frain of Mr. Campbell, who called often on his neiehbor. Finally Mr. Gladden, who resented the theory at first, was prevailed upon to try it. He thought it would not kill him at any rate, and ue cancerwas sure to do that in time. So the neighborhood was scoured for toads. The neighbors were called into service. They captured them by the dozen. Bigf at fellows were at a premium. When they had a large number of them penned up operation commenced. This is the way it was done. The legs of the toad were secured to prevent scratching and he was laid on the centre of the sore. The operation was painful. The sufferer could feel every breath. The toads lived for sev- eral hours. The first dozen who were ap- plied lived perhaps for five. When they had absorbed a certain quantity of the poison they would cease to breathe. I'his process went on for several days until over twenty toadswereused. The last one was not visibly affected. The neighbors watched the case with great interest, and it was a constant theme of con- versation in the vicinity. Many will bear witness to the efficacy of the remedy and the truth of the facts above Ata,t)d, As for Mr. Campbell, he shuffles about in great glee, and will talk by the hour to any one who will hear him discant upon the case. Mr. Gladden was seen yesterday upon his wapon, looking apparently well. He is a man fifty years of age, and, while he has always been a hard worker, has been a man of goodhabits. The first appes.ance of the cancer was twenty- five years ago, but it did not develop until within a few years. It now seems entirely cured, and iir. Gladden bids fair to enjoy many years. Lama Kay. BY ABCmS MACK. Down by the river 'neath the trees, All in the mon of Hay, I chanced to meet« maiden sweet, ' Her name was Laura Kay. Chorvb.â€" Her name was Laura Kay, Her name was Laura Kay, I chanoed to meet a maiden sweet. Her name was Laura Kay. Her face was fair as flowcors in spriotr. That deck the hillsides eay, Tet I could trace a haughty grace About fair Laura Kay. Chomsâ€" About fair Laura Kay, ete. We oft did meet beneath those tiees, Wa met there day by day. And, by and by, I fouad that I Did love sweet Laura Kay. Chomsâ€" Did love sweet Laura Kiy. ete. I courted her all summer long,-^ What more have I to say 7 ' Wlur only this, that now die is Ko longer Laura Kay. '•.'â- â- â-  Chorusâ€" No lonicer Lauia Kay, etc Has to Follow Listractions. Yoons Mr. Sissy (to his pretty cousin) â€" Aw, Itdl my barber you know, never to shave up, always to shave down. Pretty Cousin â€" I fail to see how he could shave thing else but down, Charley. ,fi|»V«r When a young man sits in the parlor talk- ing nonsense to his best girl â€" that's capitaL But when he has to stay in of evenings after they're married that's labor. Uncle John â€" " Why, my girl, you've grown Ukea cucumber vine What progress are you making towards matrimony t" Churaâ€" " Well, uncle, I'm on my fifth lap. " A man held me up last night," said Sea- cook. "Where waa that?" "Intheaootfa pwtof the town." "What did he aayt" " Oh, he pointed a gun at me and told me to hold up my lumds." " And you held them up?" "Yoo bet."" "What next?" " He told me to shell oot my money, and I said, 'My dear air, I am just letuminff from a summer vacation at the aeaahore.' "What did he do then?" "He nve me half a doUar, and told me if I neraed any more to let Um know. I gueaa he bad been there himself. A very deaf old lady, who had brought an action for damams a^^unst aneighbor, wan bdng examined, mien the judge auogeated a compromise, and inatmctM oounsu to aak her what she would take to aettle matten. "What will you take f ' asked the geatleinan in bob-tailed wig oft he old lady The old lady merely shook her head at the oouiiael, informing the jury, in confidenoe, timt"ahe was veiy hara cf hearing.** Hia locdship wants to know what you wul take." aAed tibe counsel again, this tlase bawlini; aa kadasever hecoold ia the old lady'a «ar. "I iiiaak his Isrddiip klndty," the dame aaswarad* stoM]y^*Hud if itia :*i^t^ V.'7'^*-^"' '4 4 I ir^l .-*, "'w7-